Abuse To Addict

When I was younger, I was sexually abused. Not to the extent which involves actual sex, but it was really intimate touching. I feel that period of life has irrevocably change me; after the incident, I descended into a period of self hate for being unable to prevent the situation. I felt weak, and then I discovered fanfiction. After being exposed to such, for a lack of better terms, disgusting things to do to a child, it is suffice to say that I was knowledgeable in areas that I should not have been at the age of eight. After the purchase of a home computer, I involved my self in the pursuit of interesting things to waste my time on the net. Soon enough, I found fanfiction and read up on things that I really should not have been looking at. The incident that occurred when I was younger caused me to look at certain situations as a person acting submissive or dominant. I still find myself fixated on the concept of power plays. Anyway, I know that I am capable of achieving many things but I find myself indulging in fantasies, and alternate universes in fanfiction. I still need to find a way around this pressing problem.