My StoryWhen I finished the last Harry Potter book, something happened. I was messing around on the internet and I stumbled upon fanfiction.net, it quickly became my obsession. I was around 12 years old I think.
I always had a hard time around other people, and have never really fit in at school or in my family, I guess that since it was just easyer going home and reading that having to try analysing my "friends" I ended up doing that pretty much everyday for the next 2 years. 6-7 hours wouldn't be uncommon. My parents became dead worried of course and I ended up at a boarding school with classes from 6 in the morning till around 7 in the evening. I managed to make a few friends and my use of fanfiction decreased dramatically. One hour a day or less, but in the weekends everything stayed mostly the same. the next year I was accepted into another boarding school for gymnastics, a sport that have always meant a lot to me and in my worst period the only thing except school and reading I did. Here my life really improved, I got some great friends and had the time of my life. Half an hour a day wouldn't be uncommon and I was somewhat able to stop in the weekends where I would "only" spend about 3 hours. All of this gave me the courage that I needed to fulfill a dream of mine, I applied to become an exchange student and was accepted with the help of my newfound selfconfidence. ABout 2 months before my final exams I decided to stop reading ff completely something a had newer tried before. it was all good for around a month but then it backlashed. terribly. I was meant to use the next month on independent study but it was used solely on reading ff. Needless to say all my grades were one or two grades under what my parents, teachers, friends and I had expected. Everybody though that I had been studying that month so nobody understood what had happened. My headmaster even offered me to do them all again after a course in handling examblackouts. I refused embarrassed by my actions, to this day I have told nobody. So I finished school with a bunch of bad grades and went on summervacation. On a coincidence I meet one of my good "fangirl" friends, unsurprisingly we came to the subject of FF and she told me the most strange thing. She had been stopping her addiction. I had to ask if she was joking, there are surely no such thing as an addiction to FF? and then it hit me. I had a problem! For the first time in all those years I considered the thought of being an addict. It didn't convince me to stop though, but now I was aware of my problem. When the vacation ended I went to start my exchange, it has been great so far and I spent the first month without internet and thereby FF. Now it is going back and forth, but I really hope to be able to stop. I'm still struggling, but its getting better. I finally have hope, one day I might stop completely :)
Marialost 16-17, F 3 Responses 0 Dec 17, 2012