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I Have Bulimia. But I'm Fat Still.

Looking in the mirror makes me feel like I'm not a "good enough" bulimic.

AND I AM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH AT ANYTHING.

But some days, I don't wanna puke anymore.

Some days, I just want to be free from my eating disorder.

But since I'm fat, I can't let go so easily.
CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 9 Responses Jun 17, 2011

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I know exactly how you feel, people tend to think I am lying when I feel comftable enough to tell them because I'm not "that fat" and I am a guy, some days are great and I don't even think about it get no urges, other days I find myself constantly looking in the water asking myself wtf is wrong with me?

crazy **** bro :/

I am with you on that. I too am a fat bulimic blob and when I think im getting better someone who supposable cares about me calls me fat *** and I fall again. the worst part I cant talk to anyone and I think I really need a friend I can trust. saddened and hurt in Las Vegas.

It's tough :/
*hugs*

Thanks for your compassion, you've always been very kind to me, I appreciate it.

:( but sis you aren't fat. i know your family says terrible things but their not true. none of us think you are and we are right. and besides its whats inside you that really counts

Exactly, it's difficult to want to recover when one gets those type of comments. It makes me self conscious, and I can't feel happy. I never feel happy anymore. Eating disorders suck.

ou need to help yourself and make that first step. As hard as it may be, you have to do something to try to get better. pm me if you need someone to talk to.

I have had bulimia since 20 I am 46 now, when I was 20 I so tired of having no life I started laxatives together I lost 50 pounds in 10 weeks I stopped doing the laxatives cause they made me sick and weak one time I collapsed, but I am still bulimic and now I am 46 and fat 210 in weight, depressed worse , my mom past away before christmas and I gained 10 pounds just lately i notice I am getting tired and very lazy. I know I need to stop but I am afraid I will get fatter I go through eating binges and its kind of a relief to puke it up. No one knows I am a closet type cause what family I do have would just scream at me if they knew, any advise I also suffer from anxiety badly I feel it very low self esteem.<br />
Does anyone have advise for me . 26 years of bulimia whats wrong with me. please give advise if you can<br />
thank you from oregon

Winnie, aww I am glad you can relate, it gets really tough. If you ever need anyone as here, I am here.

I know EXACTLY how that is. I am 150 and I feel like a whale. I feel like I don't do it right? And i don't want to do it...I hate myself for doing it. But I hate myself more for being so fat. And nomatter how much excercise i do it never helps. I have a slow metabolism. which is worse. But I hope both of us make a way through this! Im always here! <br />
♥ Winnie