Big Girls Have Feelings TooHi guys,
This isn't so much a story as something that I will help other big girls out there who are feeling the way I have/do.
I can't tell you how to make it all the hurt of being big go away, but one thing I can tell you is that negative feelings will destroy you only if you let them. You are a beautiful young woman with the whole world at your feet. Oh, and you happen to be big too. Don't let other people define who you are!
I find that it can help sometimes to think about WHY you feel this way. For example, the other day some guy made a comment about how big I was. He laughed to his friend and commented that somebody should roll me back into the ocean. I went home and cried for hours. All sorts of horrible, very nasty thoughts were going through my head. But I stopped and tried to think where these thoughts came from. Were they mine? Did I truly feel that way about myself?
And the answer was no! I know deep down that I am a good person that is not defined by my weight and I know that you are too. Okay, so you're big. But I bet that all the hurt you have felt from other people has made you compassionate and caring. I bet the pain you feel from negative comments has made you realise that sometimes the worst wounds are ones we cannot see - and that you use that to support those around you with their problems, even if you don't realise it.
You DO have a name and it certainly isn't tied to your weight. Claim your name back. Shout it from the rooftops. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are because I can tell you right now you are a damn sight better than those people who call you names.
Yes, this is all very easy to say and not very easy to apply. We all have our bad days. I had one today. I have stayed in the house all day and felt sorry for myself, but I hope that by sharing this message something good can come out of my self hatred, even if it makes just one of you feel a teensy bit better.