Big Since Day One

So I was born a hefty 9 lbs 1 oz and I grew up to the full potential implied by such an ample beginning. I reached my final height by sixth grade and would have relished all 5'6" of me had I not also been just over 200 lbs at the time. Middle Schoolers are not kind and I suffered the many taunts and tortures of an overweight teen. I'm sure my overall strangeness didn't help...but I digress.In college I'd had enough, I declared war on the fat. Armed with a more than adequate understanding of nutrition and a zest for weight lifting and spinning I set about becoming skinny, lithe and sexy. Of course the oddest thing happened....nothing at least nothing of note. I toned up a bit and lost 40 lbs (by then i was a whopping 280 lbs) but it made no visible difference. I was still a short pear shaped ball of fat below the notice of anyone and proud of my mind but thouroughly ashamed of my body. I trained harder spent hours and hours in the gym added extraneous pe classes to my schedule and simply never crested my plateau. I gave up sugar and gave up meat and remained as rotund as ever. I turned 21 and had never had a boyfriend never felt attractive and had a generally low opinion of myself. It took two more years before I realized how absurd it all is. I was doing very well in school and led several student organizations and I'd come to terms with my body. It wasn't going to change and neither was I. I still wanted to be sexy but I had to learn to be big and sexy. I still eat oatmeal for breakfast and salad for lunch everyday but I do it cause I like oatmeal and salad not reach some phantom light at the end of the tunnel. For me being big since I was small was a lesson in acceptance (though I'll admit I still daydream sometimes about being smaller it's mostly because of my ongoing battle with the fashion industry.)
AnattheDestroyer AnattheDestroyer
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

I was a fat baby, fat child, and fat adult. In my 60 years on this earth, I have spent most of my life (from my teenage years) starving - starving and then binging. I gained more back than I had lost. It was a nightmare of a roller coaster both physically and mentally. I topped out at 260 pounds (5' 4") and I gave totally up on dieting.

Then I met a doctor, He prescribed the drug, MERIDIA. It was a miracle drug. You see, there is a walnut-sized place deep in the brain called the hypothalamus and it is the control center for food consumption, (Look it up on the internet) If you are obese (100 or more pounds), you probably have a problem in the compulsive control center of the brain (the hypothalamus).

If you are being treated for an issue in the brain - like clinical depression or something - ask your doctor to add FLUOXETINE to your current meds. It does the same thing as MERIDA.

Both of these drugs change your eating habits, It's absolutely amazing. I, too, went to McDonalds (or some where like it) before going to a gathering. I got out of bed in the mornings daydreaming about what I would eat at lunch and dinner, A [fat] friend and I traveled together and we spent hours discussing what we could eat throughout the coming days, And more and more. I didn't realize how insane it was - until I got that little pill.

I lost 100 pounds. I never dieted and I never exercised (I do regret that); I never counted a calorie or denied myself anything I wanted. The deal was that I just didn't want it anymore. I could think of a hamburger and it felt heavy and greasy. I could think of a salad and it seemed perfect and wonderful. When I did want a hamburger, I ate it. I continue to take the pill, but in the last 6 years, I haven't gained an ounce.

Please talk to your doctor. If he doesn't give you one of these pills, find another doctor. In all my years, I've only had two doctors who knew of these drugs and understood my problem. Don't give up.