A Fat Girl's Thoughts

I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall and weigh about 245 pounds.I have been fat pretty much my whole life and in my time I have experienced a lot of things because of being this size.I won't sit here and say that people who are thin don't experience hardship,because that isn't true.people can be horrible to each other for many reasons.I'm just saying that it's a different experience when you're fat.For instance,when you argue with someone that's the first insult they reach for.And believe me,they can get pretty cruel with that one weapon.Also,we can be portrayed as unhealthy,dirty,disgusting slobs who have little or no self control when it comes to food.I remember once my sister,her son (who was quite young at the time),her boyfriend at that time,and I had went to a buffet restaraunt (which I absolutely HATE) for dinner.I can't tell how many looks and comments I got when I went to get my food.It was a terrible experience and I 'll never go to one of those places again.Then there's dating and love.I 've never been on a real date (only a few blind nightmares set up by people who are supposed to love me) and I'm still a virgin.I get laughed at because I want something better than a man who thinks he can do what ever he wants,such as beating me,cheating on me,or treating me with disrespect and I should be thankful for the fact that he even noticed me.I believe I deserve better than that .I deserve to be loved,cherished,and respected for who I am.And that's another thing,in movies and books,we are basicaly told that we need to lose weight,have plastic surgery,and change our whole way of being to be loved or wanted.Then in the movies they further insult us by having a thin actress play the part,and by the end of the movie,she sheds the fat suit and glasses and turns into the most beatiful thing the object of her desire has ever seen.That says to me as long as you change everything about yourself,you have no hope for happiness,so don't even try.I don't need to be taught by every media outlet to hate myself.Why can't we shine just like everyone else?

LadyMoonStone LadyMoonStone
36-40, F
3 Responses Apr 17, 2010

I hate the portrayal of fat people in the health industry and in media...it's disgusting how much bigotry is there.

the media is full of crap. It's the closest that we'll get to a utopian society. Movies aren't real. You sound ;like someone i'd like to cuddle with :)

Learn to ignore the media. There's a whole world of men that love a voluptuous woman. Live in that world. 5'3" and 245lbs sounds very sexy to me! Nice and round and soft and curvy. Lots to play with. I know that I am not the only guy excited by that kind of thing. Too bad its treated like some kind of weird fetish. To me, its completely normal. In fact, admiration of large women is like a higher state of being. Its an expansion of awareness of the beauty and delight that life has to offer. I would love to stuck on a remote island with a whole tribe of fat women. Smothering me with love and affection. Yummy!