It's A Problem....not A BlessingI detest having a high sex drive.
I have ALWAYS been the high desire partner in my relationships, and I don't want to be in this position anymore.
I never was promiscuous, but I have been in multiple monogamous relationships and I can't remember once when sex wasn't an issue except as a teenager. My last relationship, ironically, ended up being entirely sexless for years (he had issues outside me, that is a whole other story). I think part of the reason I was able to just stay in it for a long while was because I was fed up with the issue of sex in general. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted it. Felt tortured by it at times. But, I was just sick of it imposing on my life.
Eventually, I wasn't willing to live with such a lack of intimacy and the relationship had numerous other problems, so I left.
I have come a long way in dealing with this issue. And, I have a good sex life with my current partner, meaningful and connected. But, I hate that I am the one who has a stronger drive. And, it doesn't help that I am a submissive woman and I find it much more pleasurable to be pursued then pursue. I hate pursuit. It is a total turn off to me. Fortunately, my current guy does clearly have a reciprocal desire but it will never be as much. It is certainly workable, but I am just fed up with this being an issue at all. Not having it allowed me to shut it down somewhat, but it seems once it gets fired up, I have a hard time quelling it!
I don't think I am a sex addict. I think I just have a ridiculous sex drive, and it is not tempering with age, it just has escalated. I certainly have the ability to control it, so my guess is that it doesn't fall into the addiction spectrum. I never solicit random men or allow the drive to dictate decisions.
There is nothing great about it.
And, the reality is that guys may love the idea of a really highly sexed woman in theory, it doesn't work that way in practice. Male egos are very fragile around sex, and nothing is a turn off to a guy more then a woman who they feel they can't satisfy. I have never deliberately tried to make a man feel emasculated or less because his sex drive doesn't match mine. But, the simple fact that I am still in the mood or want it on a more frequent basis then he does is enough to cause trouble. No guy wants to think he can't satisfy his woman.
I have ZERO desire to sleep around. My emotional need for monogamy and stability make casual sex a truly poor choice for me. And, again, the guy I am with is a wonderful and thoughtful lover and I don't want to be intimate with anyone but him. It just is a life long drag to have the hormones of a 16 year old boy.
It isn't sexy. It isn't exciting. It's burdensome and distracting.
Nothing erotic about it.
rosedl 41-45, F 7 Responses 1 Jul 12, 2012