I Am A Woman

Growing up I knew I was different from other boys. They wanted to go out hunting shooting riding bikes and just about anything masculine. For years I tried to convince myself I was a guy that just did not like that stuff. That I was better than the things the other guys liked. As a young adult I let my brother-in-law take my hunting, shooting and once even quad riding. I still did not like it but I was supposed to be a man so I did not say anything.

Several more years and I still let others tell me how to be. I did like I was expected and was fairly convincing as a guy, though there were several times that people said they thought I was gay. I knew I liked how guys looked with their ripped abs and chiseled features, but I did not want a guy to play with my butt. 

I was still in denial as to what I was and I could not figure out why girls seamed to laugh at me when I asked them out. I was alone or so I thought in trying to find the real me. I looked on the net for any help in changing me and finally found a site with books on the very subject. 

Many of the first stories I read was about me, not literally but figuratively. The issues were the same as with my life, outcast, different than others things like that. I knew I had found something and decided to see what else I could find. I had been looking around for a few months when I had a dream that I was a woman. Since I keep a dream diary I decided to see how many times I have had dreams like that and found it was more often than I dreamed about being myself.

I started talking to others, counselors and to doctors and soon realized what was missing from my life. I had to spend three moths talking to my counselor and getting pocked with needles before I was able to start HRT. The whole time I learned more about myself and enjoyed discovering the real me.
 
I have taken on a new name and now go by Rose. As John people kept telling me I was gay, that I should not like curtain things, that I was strange or abnormal. As Rose people think I am cool, I like the things I like because I am me, and that I am a normal woman.
 
I have made so many friends on this site and enjoy talking to each and every one of them. I have to admit however I have a favorite. Many of you may think it is you and many may know it is not, but my favorite person is named after a Celtic goddess and she is as pretty as her name.
 
Because of her I feel more like the woman I am. Because of her I long to be close to the real more than ever. I know I may not look like a woman on the outside, but I know I am all woman no matter how I look. I write this in honor of my bff Aerin.