They Know They're Wrong So They Cut You Out

One of the feminist haters in the supposedly MRA group posted a story called It’s Time For Men To Demand Equal Contributions From Women In All Areas Of Life

Posted February 2nd, 2012 at 1:37AM

  • By: DejaMoo
  • Age: 36-40, Man
In that story he said its time to require certain things from women.  He listed a few things including:

Women to pay alimony just like men
Women to pay child support just as often and in like amounts, as if they were men
Men to get equal custody of children
Men to get equal rights surrounding opting out of a pregnancy
Men had equal rights when it comes to reporting and prosecuting domestic violence

I commented on these things as follows:

When a woman makes more money than her husband does he can request, and be awarded alimony (spousal support) so he will be able to continue to live his life the way he has become accustomed.  But many men don't request that their wives pay them spousal support even if she makes more money than they do.  This is true for some women as well.  I pointed out that I never requested spousal support from my ex because I just wanted out of the marriage as quickly as possible. 

Women are ordered to pay child support if the husband is awarded primary custody of the children, but men often do not want primary custody of the children because when they get divorced they want to be free and independent and do as they wish when they want to, and caring for children makes this more difficult.  This is why women are often granted primary custody.  The husbands often don't even challenge it, and just agree to it just like my ex did.  The courts usually base the amount of child support a person has to pay on how much they earn and what their living expenses are regardless of whether they are a man or a woman.  The percentage is the same for both sexes.

Men get equal custody of their children if they want it.  Its called joint custody.  However, as I pointed out above, one spouse will usually get primary custody and the other secondary custody, and the one who has primary custody will get child support because the amount they have to pay for the care and upbringing of their children is greater than it is for the one who has secondary custody.  As I pointed out above, men usually voluntarily grant the wife primary custody which is why they end up paying child support, but this does not mean that if they seek primary custody and get it the reverse won't be true.

Men have equal rights to opt out of pregnancy.  All they have to do is make sure they wear a condom every time they have sex.  A woman cannot force a man to get her pregnant if he doesn't want to, and he can always wear a condom to ensure that he won't.

Men have equal rights to report and prosecute domestic violence.  If a man is the victim of domestic violence he can contact the authorities and report the crime, and if he has evidence to show he was the victim of domestic violence which can be substantiated, the woman who assaulted him will be arrested and prosecuted.  The same is true for women.  If a woman reports that she was the victim of domestic violence but has no proof which can be substantiated to show it is true, the man that she claims assaulted her will not be arrested or prosecuted. 

Of course after I wrote these comments he went in and deleted them, and then blocked me so I can't point out the inaccuracies of his claims again.  These men who write these things, and know they are untrue, and delete comments made by people to show they are untrue, are just proving how biased and prejudiced they are which is probably why there are very few members in that group, the majority of their stories are not rated up, and most of them have very few, or no comments.  Most people know they are full of BS.  Don't get me wrong . . . I think MRAs who truly want equality are a good thing, but I don't think that is the case with that group.  I think they want patriarchy and dominance over women, or they just hate women and don't want to have to deal with them.
 
The fact that there are far more members of this group and other feminist groups, and the stories are rated up, and have many supportive comments says quite a bit.  
bluelady1021 bluelady1021
41-45, F
14 Responses May 25, 2012

"I actually know of some women paying child support." Me too. I also know a couple of women who are paying spousal support to the husband who was a stay-at-home-dad while she worked her *** off (yes - 8+ hours a day, 5 or more days every week) to support the family.

World is full of ungrateful parasites...

And men who think they are always the victims, and women never are, and just make things up.

Just like the rapists: the blame belongs to the victim, never to the criminal! :/

Yes, we women should all cover ourselves from head to toe, take extensive self-defense courses, carry guns and knives, never go to areas where rapists might be, never dance or flirt, never drink too much, never date men and be alone with them that we aren't absolutely positive will never force us to have sex with them, never show affection toward a man we don't want to have sex with as a result, and things of that nature to ensure we don't get raped - LOL. So absurd. I don't think that people who are the victims of crimes should ever be held to blame.

Amazing how no one blames children nor men when they are the victims (the way how they dress is not even mentioned)...

Except for the rapists, or those who want to rape, but manage to keep themselves in check. Many of them will always try to somehow blame the person they raped or want to rape. They are sociopaths.

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"hey you're the one coming to the MRA group with generalizations" Really? Like what? "and attacking me" Here we go with the projections again. You are the one who attacked me remember? You wrote "At this point I have to ask are you lazy or retarded? . . . I mean google seach something for once, I mean god damn you feminists are the laziest bunch on the face of this earth." But that's not an attack right? You get what you give and that is why I wrote "right back at ya". Why on earth you think you can insult and attack people and they should just sit back and take it is beyond me. Get a clue, will ya? I'm starting to wonder if that is why the women in your life went after you like you mentioned. Maybe they just finally got sick and tired of your obnoxious, mean, condescending, attacks and decided it was time to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Its obvious that they are just men who want stepford wives, and not real women. I have no doubt that they will eventually become extinct. When I read what they write it becomes obvious that men who think like them won't be around much longer because most of them can't get a woman, live in a sexless marriage, are old, are homosexuals but they are in denial and can't face it, or are married to gold diggers who pretend they want to be dominated when they really just want to be supported and provided for without having to provide much in return. Men like that are not going to be able to populate the world with like minded thinkers. As time goes on their numbers will undoubtedly diminish (as they already have) and eventually they will vanish and then the world will be a better place.

No, I was responding to what someone else wrote that has now been deleted by them. Most women don't want to be with a dominating, controlling, greedy, selfish, narcissistic man. Consequently that kind of man is not going to find a woman who wants to have sex with him and have his children. As a result he will have no children to pass on his way of thinking and acting to, so eventually that kind of man will become extinct. Its not science fiction. It is Darwin's theory of "natural selection" which is often now referred to as "selective breeding".

"No that can't really work since their thought processes would need to be genetic and not learned." WRONG!!!! Didn't you learn anything from your parents? Parents often share their thoughts and feelings with their children and deeply influence how they view things. Sure, the kids might grow up and adopt different beliefs and views, but if their parents found effective ways to inflict their views on them the children will often follow in their footsteps.

"and women growing wiser about the weakness of most men." I think its more about women getting better at figuring out which men are good men and are therefore worth their time, attention, and reproductive skills, and which ones aren't.

Why are you referring to her lawyer as a feminist? When did this happen?

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Ladyblue, I was a typical misogynist, until I learn more about rapes, espousal violence, treating female crime victims as criminals.<br />
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Then I realised whats the consequences of giving less rights and less respect to women. <br />
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I salute you, Ladyblue!

Thank you. You are very kind and obviously a fair minded person who doesn't look down on women or feel they should be repressed. I salute you as well.

(blush) Thank you!

Evidence for those claims, please...

skept wow........ i salute you ... what happened to make you change ur thoughts...

wow lady and I .... both used the word salute... i didnt read what lady wrote untill after i wrote my comment ....

I met inteligent women and was shocked when I realized that mysoginist thinking tended to blame the women, no matter how repulsive men can be (like blaming women for the rapes).

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Thank you LadtBlue for that brilliant, powerful and factual post. Every point you make an absolute fact. It gives me hope that Feminism is alive and well. The meaning of the word has become so distorted and fouled. I meet too many women who understand the word the way the types of men you speak of understand the word. It's become the other "F" bomb.<br />
These men are so angry that we took their "toys" away. They whine because we are free of their tyranny. They are jealous of our strength and power. Threatened by our fortitude. Pissed off because they can't beat us into submission, en masse, the way they once could, which is exactly the way they acquired their power over us in the first place, certainly NOT because they were smarter or better in any real way. Life was sweet for them for a very long time.Too bad boys, ya gotta wash your own nasty underwear, cook for yourself, get your own damn beer , help raise the kids and if you beat us because we won't submit, either you'll go to jail or some of us will kill you back. EQUALITY !! THE SAME FOR EVERYONE! Why is that so hard to understand? No one gives up their power voluntarily so women are forced to continue fighting for their lives.

oops, spelled LadyBlue wrong, sorry

Regardless the doudche that wrote the story would be a "real" man if he allowed actual women to respond!

Here you go. It is so obvious that anti-feminists on this site just keep on posting the same false rhetorical claims about false rape accusation statistics that have no valid evidence to back them up.

A false accusation of rape is a false allegation of a forcible sexual assault. As a scientific matter, the frequency of false rape complaints to police or other legal authorities is difficult to determine and the absolute value remains unknown.

FBI statistics:

FBI reports consistently put the number of "unfounded" rape accusations around 8%. The average rate of unfounded reports for Index crimes is 2%. However, "unfounded" is not synonymous with false allegation. Bruce Gross of the Forensic Examiner's says that:

"This statistic is almost meaningless, as many of the jurisdictions from which the FBI collects data on crime use different definitions of, or criteria for, "unfounded." That is, a report of rape might be classified as unfounded (rather than as forcible rape) if the alleged victim did not try to fight off the suspect, if the alleged perpetrator did not use physical force or a weapon of some sort, if the alleged victim did not sustain any physical injuries, or if the alleged victim and the accused had a prior sexual relationship. Similarly, a report might be deemed unfounded if there is no physical evidence or too many inconsistencies between the accuser's statement and what evidence does exist. As such, although some unfounded cases of rape may be false or fabricated, not all unfounded cases are false.

British Home Office:

The largest and most rigorous study was commissioned by the British Home Office and based on 2,643 sexual assault cases (Kelly, Lovett, and Regan, 2005). Of these, 8% were classified by the police department as false reports. Yet the researchers noted that some of these classifications were based simply on the personal judgments of the police investigators and were made in violation of official criteria for establishing a false allegation. Closer analysis of this category applying the Home Office counting rules for establishing a false allegation and excluding cases where the application of the cases where confirmation of the designation was uncertain reduced the percentage of false reports to 3%. The researchers concluded that "one cannot take all police designations at face value" and that "[t]here is an over-estimation of the scale of false allegations by both police officers and prosecutors." Moreover, they added:

"The interviews with police officers and complainants’ responses show that despite the focus on victim care, a culture of suspicion remains within the police, even amongst some of those who are specialists in rape investigations. There is also a tendency to conflate false allegations with retractions and withdrawals, as if in all such cases no sexual assault occurred. This reproduces an investigative culture in which elements that might permit a designation of a false complaint are emphasised (later sections reveal how this also feeds into withdrawals and designation of ‘insufficient evidence’), at the expense of a careful investigation, in which the evidence collected is evaluated.

Police in Victoria (Australia):

Another large-scale study was conducted in Australia, with 850 rapes reported to the Victoria police between 2000 and 2003 (Heenan &amp; Murray, 2006). Using both quantitative and qualitative methods, the researchers examined 812 cases with sufficient information to make an appropriate determination, and found that 2.1% of these were classified by police as false reports. All of these complainants were then charged or threatened with charges for filing a false police report.

Kanin's report:

In 1994, Dr. Eugene J. Kanin of Purdue University investigated the incidences of false rape allegations made to the police in one small urban community between 1978 and 1987. He states that unlike those in many larger jurisdictions, this police department had the resources to "seriously record and pursue to closure all rape complaints, regardless of their merits." He further states each investigation "always involves a serious offer to polygraph the complainants and the suspects" and "the complainant must admit that no rape had occurred. She is the sole agent who can say that the rape charge is false." The number of false rape allegations in the studied period was 45; this was 41% of the 109 total complaints filed in this period. The researchers verified, whenever possible, for all of the complainants who recanted their allegations, that their new account of the events matched the accused's version of events.

Critics of Dr. Kanin's report include Dr. David Lisak, an associate professor of psychology and director of the Men's Sexual Trauma Research Project at the University of Massachusetts Boston. He states, "Kanin’s 1994 article on false allegations is a provocative opinion piece, but it is not a scientific study of the issue of false reporting of rape. It certainly should never be used to assert a scientific foundation for the frequency of false allegations." According to Lisak, Kanin's study lacked any kind of systematic methodology and did not independently define a false report, instead recording as false any report which the police department classified as false. The department classified reports as false which the complainant later said were false, but Lisak points out that Kanin's study did not scrutinize the police's processes or employ independent checkers to protect results from bias. Kanin, Lisak writes, took his data from a police department whose investigation procedures are condemned by the U.S. Justice Department and the International Association of Chiefs of Police. These procedures include the almost universal threat, in this department, of polygraph testing of complainants, which is viewed as a tactic of intimidation that leads victims to avoid the justice process and which, Lisak says, is "based on the misperception that a significant percentage of sexual assault reports are false."The police department's "biases...were then echoed in Kanin’s unchallenged reporting of their findings."

Bruce Gross writes in the Forensic Examiner that Kanin's study is an example of the limitations of existing studies on false rape accusations. "Small sample sizes and non-representative samples preclude generalizability." Philip N.S. Rumney questions the reliability of Kanin's study stating that it "must be approached with caution". He argues that the study's most significant problem is Kanin's assumption "that police officers abided by departmental policy in only labeling as false those cases where the complainant admitted to fabrication. He does not consider that actual police practice, as other studies have shown, might have departed from guidelines."

A selection of findings on the prevalence of false rape allegations. Data from Rumney (2006).
Number False reporting rate (%)
Theilade and Thomsen (1986) 1 out of 56
4 out of 39 1.5% (minimum)
10% (maximum)
New York Rape Squad (1974) n/a 2%
Hursch and Selkin (1974) 10 out of 545 2%
Kelly et al. (2005) 67 out of 2,643 3% ("possible" and "probable" false allegations)
22% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Geis (1978) n/a 3–31% (estimates given by police surgeons)
Smith (1989) 17 out of 447 3.8%
U.S. Department of Justice (1997) n/a 8%
Clark and Lewis (1977) 12 out of 116 10.3%
Harris and Grace (1999) 53 out of 483
123 out of 483 10.9% ("false/malicious" claims)
25% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Lea et al. (2003) 42 out of 379 11%
HMCPSI/HMIC (2002) 164 out of 1,379 11.8%
McCahill et al. (1979) 218 out of 1,198 18.2%
Philadelphia police study (1968) 74 out of 370 20%
Chambers and Millar (1983) 44 out of 196 22.4%
Grace et al. (1992) 80 out of 335 24%
Jordan (2004) 68 out of 164
62 out of 164 41% ("false" claims)
38% (viewed by police as "possibly true/possibly false")
Kanin (1994) 45 out of 109 41%
Gregory and Lees (1996) 49 out of 109 45%
Maclean (1979) 16 out of 34 47%
Stewart (1981) 16 out of 18 90%

A 2006 paper by Philip N.S. Rumney in the Cambridge Law Journal offers a review of studies of false reporting in the USA, New Zealand and the UK. Rumney draws two conclusions from his review of literature. First, the police continue to misapply the "no-crime" or "unfounding" criteria. Studies by Kelly et al. (2005), Lea et al. (2003), HMCPSI/HMIC (2002), Harris and Grace (1999), Smith (1989), and others found that police decisions to no-crime were frequently dubious and based entirely on the officer's personal judgement. Rumney notes that some officers seem to "have fixed views and expectations about how genuine rape victims should react to their victimization." He adds that "qualitative research also suggests that some officers continue to exhibit an unjustified scepticism of rape complainants, while others interpret such things as lack of evidence or complaint withdrawal as 'proof' of a false allegation."

Rumney's second conclusion is that it is impossible to "discern with any degree of certainty the actual rate of false allegations" due to the fact that many of the studies of false allegations have adopted unreliable or untested research methodologies. He argues, for instance, that in addition to their small sample size the studies by Maclean (1979) and Stewart (1981) used questionable criteria to judge an allegation to be false. MacLean deemed reports "false" if, for instance, the victim did not appear "dishevelled" and Stewart, in one instance, considered a case disproved, stating that "it was totally impossible to have removed her extremely tight undergarments from her extremely large body against her will".

Dr. David Lisak's study, published in 2010 in Violence Against Women, classified 8 out of the 136 (5.9%) reported rapes at a major northeastern university over a ten year period to be false.

"Applying IACP guidelines, a case was classified as a false report if there was evidence that a thorough investigation was pursued and that the investigation had yielded evidence that the reported sexual assault had in fact not occurred. A thorough investigation would involve, potentially, multiple interviews of the alleged perpetrator, the victim, and other witnesses, and where applicable, the collection of other forensic evidence (e.g., medical records, security camera records). For example, if key elements of a victim’s account of an assault were internally inconsistent and directly contradicted by multiple witnesses and if the victim then altered those key elements of his or her account, investigators might conclude that the report was false. That conclusion would have been based not on a single interview, or on intuitions about the credibility of the victim, but on a “preponderance” of evidence gathered over the course of a thorough investigation."

DiCanio (1993) states that while researchers and prosecutors do not agree on the exact percentage of false allegations, they generally agree on a range of 2% to 8%.

Taylor (1987) wrote that "suspicion and disbelief of women who charge men with rape have for centuries had a stranglehold on [...] laws nominally designed to protect women against rape. As a result, many women did not report or prosecute rapes because the process was so often humiliating."

So how is it not fair if she got into trouble after all...plenty of women get killed because cops and justice courts don't take action in DA until its too late<br />
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I agree with the above, Nicole Simpson is a good example of police injustice,<br />
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thank god the laws/ rules on how to approach domestic abuse changed for the better, do to the oj /Nicole Simpson trial.

that gal that BLU the GYPSY... it is cyber stalking me and be longs in an abusive relationship with a umpa lumpa.... lol<br />
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gypsy said....> if I understand ur ticky tacky, textual medium, are you trying to say in your illiterate (claiming to be part of mensa ) way ...>( that gal, gypsyblu is stalking me and belongs in an abusive relationship with a umpa lumpa ? ) <br />
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you anit getting no blood from this turnip, Amigo ! f ..off..... you claim im stalking you ? have you took a look at the dates on the posts, to claim who is stalking whom ?<br />
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like I told you once before, I don't believe for one second you are part of mensa!!! <br />
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and for you to sit there and say, what u said about, hurting me on my face (on my white board) and then, and I quote..... belongs in an abusive relationshp,<br />
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is a cyber threat in my book.

It's his I hate American women or women in general attitude...has nothing to do with feminism. Has everything to do with him not being able to control women that came in his life/he's really a gay man/he's a weak personality in real life trying to be cyberstrong. Anything really! <br />
It's a man power trip is all. He is losing!

as a dom on of the fundamental truths I live by is that IF YOU CANT CONTROL YOURSELF HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO CONTROL ANY ONE ELSE.....( and I never humiliate a woman)( I do alot of tabu things but that is not on MY list!!)

No spouse should control their spouses life. Making our own desicions makes us individuals. I do think when u get married you have to consider the other ones thoughts but usually I like to make my own mistakes and learn from them. Some good choices some bad. Dominance isn't religious in the aspect ppl live in today. They try to base it off biblical teachings but they twist the scriptures and make up their own versions. But I guess live the way u want. I just get sick when ppl say it's how the bible wants us to live...it's a book. Seriously.

"No spouse should control their spouses life. Making our own desicions makes us individuals." I agree Natalie. "Dominance isn't religious in the aspect ppl live in today. They try to base it off biblical teachings but they twist the scriptures and make up their own versions." I agree with this also. I also believe that the King James version of the Bible interpreted the writings of the apostles and others in a way that would benefit the interpreters, but as a result were not always correct interpretations. The dead sea scrolls, Nag Hammadi Library, and other ancient religious writings often prove this to be true. Many of the apocryphal texts which conflict with what is written in the New Testament were left out and discarded only to be discovered later on. For instance, the writings of Mary Magdalene, who was actually one of Jesus' most celebrated disciples, were rejected and not included in the King James version. Instead of recognizing her as one of the primary disciples, the New Testament barely mentions her prior to the crucifixion and primarily recognizes her as a follower of Jesus who he saved from being stoned to death when she was a prostitute. Whether this is true or not is actually debated by many. People should base their desire to live in a controlling, dominating, or submissive way on their own desire, and not try to reconcile it to others by claiming they are only doing what the Bible tells them to do, because if they were actually living their life based on the Bible they wouldn't be doing many of the other things in life that they do, and would be doing many things they don't do.

his not worth the effort..i want to know if thats how he feels about his mother..or the day he has a daughter--is his feelings and thoughts the same..what an ***

YOU ARRE SADLY MISTAKEN ABOUT THE DEMESTIC VILONCE ISSUES THAT YOU POINT OUT.... in theroy the cops are SUPOSED to be fair! THAT IS SELDOM THE CASE.... AS A MAN THAT HAS PUT UP WITH AN ALCOCHALIC WIFE FOR 10 YEARS I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT 1. I NEVER BEAT MY WIFE( i have in the last 3 years hit her back on 4 or 5 ocasions 1time each in order to stop her from beating ME) and the cops invariably ASSUME I AM THE AGRESSOR! I havent had a sip of booze since april of 08 and havent ben drunk more than 4or5 times in the last 15 years and not drunk in the last 8. the time she broke her hand hitting me in the head the FEMALE roommate called the cops and I was imeadiatly put in hand cufs for brreaking her hand with my face... and they took her in another room to get the REAL story. the FEMALE roommate and I were sober and SHE convinced them that I was not the agressor. they couldnt leave her there cus she was still mad so they arested her but she was let out of jail by 9 am as the prosocuter refused to even hear the case.... DONT TELL ME THAT IS FAIR!

all this coming from a guy who uses a gun for sexual pleasure with his g/f wtf

It isn't fair. Its good she got arrested at least you were safe for a few hours....often this same thing happens to women, their abusers spend a few hours in jail only to return and be even more abusive. There are several groups out there that may be able to help you. Are you still in danger?

Its not the law that was corrupt it was those enforcing it.

So true Dente. I know that where I love the police have to have absolute proof that someone who claims they were abused actually was whether it is a man or a woman. They very often will just take the abuser to jail over night, but charges won't be pressed and they will be released the next day. The police do this to put some fear in them and teach them a less, but as you said this will often anger an abusive man and when he gets out of jail he will abuse the woman further to "teach her a lesson". He then worries that if she ever reports his abuse again she will suffer for it so she doesn't.

WTFU(k¡Ng freak...

They think this tiny order of protection also helps women. It's a piece of paper or sometimes an unkept promise. If people really want to hurt someone they will do it no matter what. Crimes of passion are that.

I fight competition for fun I was never in danger... just my heart and soul that were truly hurt... but the cops are what I was commenting on and as for that gal that BLU the GYPSY... it is cyber stalking me and be longs in an abusive relationship with a umpa lumpa.... lol

that is a 2 way street....

my ex wife got 3 count them three! NO TRESPASSING TICKETS AND A MALISIOUS DESTROUCTRION OF PRIVET PROPERTY IN ONE 14 HOUR PERIOD!!! again this is a 2 way street! ( $900 of slashed tires in 5 minitus)

So how is it not far if she got into trouble after all...plenty of women get killed because cops and justice courts don't take action in DA until its too late

I just noticed all the mistakes I made in what I wrote above. I meant to write: So true Dente. I know that where I live the police have to have absolute proof that someone who claims they were abused actually was whether it is a man or a woman. The police will very often just take the abuser to jail over night, but charges won't be pressed, and they will be released the next day. The police do this to put some fear in them and teach them a lesson, but as you said, this will often anger an abusive man and when he gets out of jail he will abuse the woman further to "teach her a lesson". She will then worry that if she ever reports his abuse again she will suffer for it, and possibly be killed, so she doesn't, and the abuse just continues.

"and be longs in an abusive relationship with a umpa lumpa.... lol' I don't believe that any woman in a relationship with an umpa lumpa could ever be abused by him since they are so small we could easily just squash them and then flush them down the toilet if we wanted to - LOL. Now a relationship with a Wookiee, Big Foot, or an abominable snowman is another story since those dudes are big and strong.

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To be fair though I know of men who did want their children but I think were unfairly judged as "lesser" parents, there are some states which are still known as "mom" states, in those states men will have a hard time proving they deserve to be in their childrens lives!

i dont want to be fair some times lol damit!

I don't blame you. I do think the courts are getting better but sometimes I wonder...I see it more a fault of the patriarchal minds of the judges.

Strangely enough it seems women judges are more aware of the need of a father in a childs life....that's from my limited experiences.

I sometimes think it is difficult for the courts to determine who should get primary custody if both spouses have been proven to be good parents, so they default to giving it to the mother since moms are usually the ones who give the children more time and attention than dads do. In many states if a couple is fighting for primary custody of the kids, unless a man who wants primary custody can prove that the mom is an unfit mother, the court's will often grant her primary custody. This does not mean the dad does not get custody. They will usually grant joint custody meaning that the children will spend equal amounts of time with both parents, but the one who has primary custody is usually more financially responsible for the children than the other so they will be awarded some child support.

I see a lot of properly functioning fathers rules agiangst even when mother has "known" issues.

I think it is getting better. I hope it witll!

The courts gave my father custody (there was 6 of us) between the two, my father was lesser of the two evils. That all transpired in mid 70's.

If I was a judge I think it would be very difficult to determine who should have primary custody if both parents are excellent parents, and neither one of them has done anything wrong. I think I would probably say one would get primary custody for a year, and then the other would and trade off, but that could be difficult for the kids since they would get shifted back and forth. I think it is a hard decision for a fair judge to make.

Usually if parents are equally qualified and live close enough the schedule is week on week off...holidays are year on year off ... and if the kids are really young I have seen parenting plans where the child switched homes every three days. So .... it all depends.

I have to say, and I know it won't be considered right by some people but, I think the way child support is set up in some states is completely unfair. The state should set up an amount that represents what it actually costs to raise a child at each age, then use that amount at the total for every single child. Each parent will a portion of the amount based on how often they have physical custody, so if you have the child 75% of the time you pay 25% of the total... the money is kept in a clearinghouse in an account under the childs name and the custodial parent has a debit card that the custodial parent uses to pay for the childs expenses...this way, one parent isn't punished for having a better paying job than the other parent, this would mean each kid had the same value so idiots wouldn't keep having babies so they could get a "break" on child support. And with the debit card there would be an electronic trail showing where and how the child support is being spent.

interesting idea dente...... come to find out, my father fought for custody for his children not because he loved/cared for us ... he didn't want to pay my mom any money

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lady said ..>he went in and deleted them, and then blocked me so I can't point out the inaccuracies of his claims again. These men who write these things, and know they are untrue, and delete comments made by people to show they are untrue, are just proving how biased and prejudiced they are which is probably why there are very few members in that group, <br />
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gypsy said ...> lady he and his partner (men in dark glasses) have deleted my commets also, they have no real truths to debate with!<br />
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they would lie about the color of thier own eyes, as your standing there staring, right into thier face!

I agree. They should realize that just because they delete the comments that point out how incorrect their statements are most people are still not going to believe the crap they write. I bet the reason that most of their stories have no comments is because the only comments the stories have gotten are comments pointing out how incorrect what they are saying is, and they then just delete them and block the person who made the comment just like they did to me and you. Its obvious that they know how wrong they are or they wouldn't feel the need to do that and would challenge what we have written instead. They don't realize that by doing that kind of thing they are just confirming that what they are saying is pure and utter (or udder for that moo guy) nonsense.

Copy and paste:)

The problem is that once your comment is deleted you have nothing to copy from unless you saved a copy of your comment somewhere which I never do. And you have no where to paste it if you are blocked unless you put it in a comment on someone else's story, or then write your own story like I did here.

I copy and paste their stories and respons to them here...feel welcome to do the same

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yea he hates females...<br />
<br />
American women are his first hate....<br />
<br />
he isn't here for men's right <br />
<br />
he is here to spew venom towards the society of American women

thumbs up on ladyblues comment

Agreed I love this lady

@ gypsyblu - to labour a point carried over from a different story (sorry, can't resist an opportunity once I've spotted it LOL) - In view of ladyblue's story and the fact that she posted it because Deja resorts to deleting, which of them appears the most credible? Whose argument carries most weight?

What opportunity are you lookg for here ?

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