Is Anyone There?

I this feeling inside sucks.. I feel like he job (ff) comes before me.. I know that sound selfish but I would just lime it if he would have some time with me.. I support him 110% in anything he does especially him being a firefighter. i love him and i really just need some girl talk and advice... Like how to handle all of this.. Such as his attitude when something at a seen goes bad at the scene and he comes back mad. Or how I make him realize I really do love him and Im Never leaving his side.. My friend said I could get se good advice on here.. So someone please help me, it could be random advice about dating a firefighter or related to what I just said above. I just need someone to help me understand this all.. Please please please and thank you.
caitlyn3496 caitlyn3496
18-21, F
6 Responses May 15, 2012

Im new to being a firefighter's girlfriend as well. Well, this is my first long relationship with a firefighter. I know how you feel. I am not too sure about your fireman but mine is volunteer. Which sometimes is very fortunate. However, what gets me through the times where I feel alone and he put thats before me is that I know what he is doing, is helping someone... That even though he is always busy with something, that i know I am always on his mind. & that I know he will come back to me. If he's upset or mad about a call he just got back from, don't hassle him. Let him cool down, maybe let him watch some tv. Or do whatever he does to unwhine, and when he's ready to talk, be there to listen. Im sure he knows you love him. It takes a lot to be a firefighter's girlfriend. & not most understand that. I hope my advice helped.

Add a response...

It is hard. I got lucky that my boyfriend has already finished training and is a full time FF. I went into this knowing that it would always come first. But it's a part of who he is and I love him no matter what. Show that you are interested in what he does. It will help him realize he can talk to you about it and he will include you in it more. It's hard to hear about sometimes but they need to talk to some one and it needs to be some one who won't make fun of him for being 'weak'. And if he doesn't want to talk about it, don't push him. He will when he is ready. Until then, find ways to distract him. Make him smile. Just let him know you will always stay by his side.

I guess I'm lucky in that when I met my firefighter he was already a trained and working fireman, I knew and know that his job will always come first, that's in the nature of the job. But I know that if it came down to it he will be there for me in the important moments. It is hard to know what to do when things go wrong on the scene, especially if he won't tell you but all you can do is be there, be gentle and patient and if he wants to tell you what happened, he will. Mostly they just want to be distracted so that you can do too and if he wants to sleep during the only spare time you get to see him, know that he could sleep alone but he's doing it with you because underneath it all he wants to be with you. Just stay strong, it will get easier

Caitlyn,<br />
I felt the same way for sometimes and sometime the feeling come backs. He is going to put firefighting first. Don't feel like he doesnt care you anymore. I'm sure he does but his head is on FF at the moment and he just doesnt know how to balance FF and girlfriend at the sametime. It just takes time to adjust to it and learn to live with it. It's not going to be easy but worth it.

Hi Caitlyn,<br />
I'm not sure if you saw the other firefighters girlfriend group on here, but there are quite a few members in that group and tons of advice has been given on there. Not sure if you are still around but if you are, I hope you have the chance to check it out.