My boyfriend just started fire academy and I am extremely happy and proud of him, however, I do know it's going to be a tough process for both of us. I really want to help him out through this whole academy and I want to be there for him and support him in any way I can.

From what I've read it's hard on the girlfriend too, not seeing him or talking to him as much, and dealing with his disinterest in anything other than the academy; I can imagine will be tough.

So any advice from anyone who's had their other half in the fire academy? What can I do to make things easier for him? What can I do to make things easier for me?
lacsun lacsun
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

My other half has gone through two academies, and it was tough on him both times the first time I was able to help him study and practice. Which honestly can be a little fun helping with. But the second academy we were apart for almost a month were it was training all day everyday that one was hard for both of us since we relied on each other so much. By just being there for your other half it helps. Offer to make him lunches to take, if you live close enough or help him study. You will learn just as much as he does honestly. It will ease your mind when you realize that the training they are doing is showing them how to be safe in dangerous situations. But just being there for him will show him how much support you really have for the profession he's going into. And when he goes on his first call, let him know your there if he needs to talk. But honestly after three years of my other half doing this you don't want to know everything that happens on a call.

2 books I highly recommend to read: I Love a Firefighter : what the family needs to know by Ellen Kirschman & Stories of Faith & Courage from firefighters & first responders by Gaius Reynolds. :)

Thank you for the book recommendations. My bf of over a year has been in the fire academy for TWO WEEKS which seems like months!!!!! So far I have been loving being supportive and helping him study when I can, making him flash cards, cleaning, etc. However I am just recently beginning to question if he appreciates the amount of effort I am putting in to support and encourage him. We live an hour apart so I will often stay with him on the weekends and we talk every night. I love and appreciate that he takes the time to talk to me daily. What's become hard for me is that he will call and tell me about his day (which j love) but then has to go study or sleep. I feel as though my day or my problems no longer have any significance and are not worth his time. Which probably aren't, but makes it that much harder to be supportive of him when I feel like I'm merely a crutch. Kind of feels like a one-way relationship. And omg it has only been 2 weeks. Anyone else having these feelings???

Good luck. If he chooses that life for a career, it will always be that way. The service will always come first and people don't stop dying and fires don't stop burning. It is worth it, but it will never change from academy once he is on a department. My advice to you would be to accept that there will be absence on important days and events. There will be a lot of loneliness and solitude. You will feel like you're on your own often, even though you aren't, just physically. Accept those things and it'll be ok. Talk to him about it, make sure you understand what that life is like. Some people can't deal with it.

Him becoming a firefighter is the one thing he wants more than anything. He's been working on getting there way before I was in the picture so I'm honestly not expecting him to put me as his top priority. I honestly understand him and I love that he's passionate about reaching his goals.

I know it'll feel lonely most times, but I guess as long as there's still those other times where we're together and happy, then I should be fine. I hope... Thanks!