Outcasted For Being Forgiving.

I forgive.  I might forgive too easily according to some.  My level of forgiveness seems to bother those close to me.  I have had friends to terrible things to me, and have others question why I would forgive with just a simple apology.  Partners have wronged me, and I have forgiven. Coworkers have wronged me, and I let it go.  Sometimes I require an apology, other times I just forgive without being asked.

Why does this bother people so much?  It's not harming me.  It's not harming them.  What business do they have in telling me I shouldn't forgive?

I am sure one of the reasons I forgive so much is because I have wanted forgiveness for so much of my life.  I used to treat people terribly, and do awful things.  When you have been on the wrong side of the wrong-doing, maybe it's easier to understand why forgiveness is important.

I don't believe in grudges.  I don't think they do any good.  How is me staying angry at someone over something (at least nothing too egregious) going to make things better?  Anger eats at me, both mentally and physically.  Holding that kind of emotion does me absolutely no good.  I find it better to talk it out and get the offender to understand why what they did was wrong or hurtful, and requesting that it never happen again.  Once that is secured, I am fine to move on. 

Yet so many people out there are stuck on keeping anger going.  Sure, I could be setting myself up for someone to hurt me again, but I could also be missing out on a lot of wonderful things that could happen if said person really does change.  People are not disposable, no matter how our society makes it seem.  I cannot just throw someone away like a used tissue.  If someone is a good influence in my life, yet makes a mistake ( no matter how difficult or painful it may be), I can find a way to forgive if they seem sincere.  Yes, bad influences are something I am willing to part with.  If you're a bad influence, and you refuse to let me try to help you find the good then I will not tolerate your negativity. 

However, most of the time, people in my life aren't like this.  I have a lot of good influences, and people make mistakes.  Think about it, how many times have you deeply hurt someone you cared about.  It happens.  Forgiveness is an amazing gift, and I wield it with a strong backbone.  I don't think anyone should judge that for the negative. 

lexxij lexxij
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

I think...the tricky thing about being forgiving is that sometimes the almost invisible thin line is crossed when our act of forgiveness also makes us a doormat or an enabler. And when others have that perception of us is when they get angry with us. Not so much for us being forgiving but the message that we're sending out and the unacceptable behaviours that we may be unwittingly perpetuating. <br />
I've had people angry with me for being, in their opinion, 'too forgiving'. I realised that they viewed it as me giving permission for the wrongdoing to take place again. I still believe that forgiveness is necessary, a lot of times it helps me too.. but now i am conscious that i shouldn't be forgiving the same mistake by the same person over and over again.