Post

I Ask My Great-nephew To Live With Me.

A little over a year and half ago my niece was experiencing some emotional as well as addictions issues. I went to her one night and said hey your kids need a temporary place while you deal with your issues. Long story short next day she signed the soon to be 3yo over to me using papers from the library. We both thought this was temporary.
Over the next several months the niece did her own thing and randomly would see Little B. After 6 mos, I decided to pursue legal custody and after hiring and firing of attys and etc. I finally got my day in court. The judge seen fit to give me 100% legal guardianship of Little B and his mom got 4 hrs supervised visitation a week. She ask the judge for me to be the supervisor. She ask the judge for a follow up in 30 days and he basically said when that apt came up that things were said and done not to come back unless she had an atty, and she was ordered to do drug screenings and he told her to make sure she did the visitations. Honestly I liked it better when we never heard from her.
Its been a little over 6 months now and the mom has done her visitations. Little B has two other siblings that looks like they will be placed in placements as well. The oldest is with her grandparents (1.5yrs+ now) and the other sounds like Child Protective Services will be getting involved with.
It breaks my heart I cant help the other boy but I dont have the support for him I do with the little one. My life has done a 100% change, I am not complaining, most of it for the better.
I suggest if you can help a child you do it. They are the closest thing to God you can get. not saying its not a challenge.
jimalee2000 jimalee2000 41-45, M 4 Responses Nov 20, 2010

Your Response

Cancel

I at first was taken back by your comment BECAUSE I am always having to defend myself against family and her and etc. I am trying to do the best I can for B. My heart breaks I cant take on the other boy. The fact of the matter is he is only 5 BUT he is wise beyond his years with street smarts (not always intelligent smarts). With this said he has known abuse/neglect issues to over come and me being a single "gay" man. I would be jeopardizing myself if he were to ever remotely insinuate I did something inappropriate. He has been exposed to bad stuff. The mother refuses to believe its as bad as it is. I cant put little B in a situation either. So I now have to sit here with my hands tied. I did reread my posting and it was a bit harsh not really intending it to be. I do with his mom was a different person. I grew up with split family etc. I dont wish that on anyone, I sure with he could live with her and have a "normal" chance at life.

I understand now where you are coming from. Didn't know she was abusive thought that she was just seeking help to over come some problems. You shouldn't be the supervision if this is what is happening. She should have a court appointed one so she can behave herself with the kids. I don't know how the whole court works. I didn't say those things to upset you, its just sad when these things happen.

Well to avoid being defensive from your post. I admit, you dont know the whole story and so you cant make a fair judgment on what I should wish for.<br />
Just to let you in on the last 2 weeks. Thanksgiving weekend she walked the 2nd boy to a neighbor of her mothers and ask her if he could stay with her. (they didnt know each others names) She dropped off his belongings and left. We had to meet Sat for visitation. She yelled and belittled and screamed at the kids all 4 hrs to the point Little B said he didnt love her or want to be there. This weekend she decided to give a total stranger custody of her 2nd son, so her sister and brother in law wouldn't get temp custody. <br />
An example of visitation: Now that the weather is cold n nasty we meet at the local library. Its a treat for the kids.. It is very kid friendly..tons to do. She hates meeting there, says the kids want to be loud n play. So instead after an hour n half to hour forty five min she wants to pack the 3 kids up and take them to McDonalds and make them sit the remainder 1 1/2 to 2 hrs in a booth. She bought them lunch Sat a hamb, sm fries and a free glass of water. So they have to sit there look at ea other no toys, no nothing for 2 hrs. The smallest one didn't understand the no happy meal, they had a power struggle over him eating vs. telling him she didnt have the money. So after 4hrs of yelling n screaming, belittling, and attitude... She only sees 2 of them once a week! No with a full diet of drama every week I wish she just didn't, I am sorry if that offends someone.

Its sad that you are glad that she didn't visit. I would think that you would want her in the childrens life even if she has problems. She needs a good support system, I don't know the whole story but she sounds like she does want what is best for her kids I hope she gets the help she needs, and can be the mom she wants to be in her heart.