The Leading Lady Was Quite Wooden, Sound Effects Were Nonexistent, Title Misleading

After my chat with a fellow in India, I was curious to know what **** was like in his fair country. You will recall I have watched a few Japanese **** videos, such as the one about enema races, and the one about an office girl being molested by strange men on a bus.  Those may not be everyone's cup of tea, but they are lively and bring a smile to my face.  So I wondered what sorts of depraved acts are in the **** from the homeland of that cute actor Dev Patel.  You know, the Indian guy in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel?  He was born in...oh, wait...Harrow, England.  The homeland of Ben Kingsley, aka Krishna Pandit Bhanji.  He was born in...oh, wait...Snainton, North Riding of Yorkshire, England.  Mother Teresa.  Oops, she was Albanian. 

I was curious about *********** from Gandhi's birthplace.  How's that?

Some things are a bit too depraved for me.  So I did not search out videos of fellas sleeping with their grandnieces, as Gandhi did.  I just looked up Hindi **** and checked out a random clip.  I found one at http://www.indianpornvideos.com which sounded promising.  It was entitled Finger ****** POV.   Nothing turns me on quite the same way as a good finger ******* video.  There's something so exciting about a man putting his hand between a woman's legs.  Call me weird, but I had high hopes for this.  In American ****, the women typically moan pretty impressively.  The Japanese women make wonderful distressed noises.  But when I began to play this Indian clip, I was totally disappointed. 

WARNING:  SPOILERS FOLLOW.

THERE WAS NO SOUND.  Not a peep.  I guess they did not feel it was worth recording sound since the woman who was being fingered appeared to be dead or passed out.  She didn't move a muscle, just lay there.  Then again, I have heard from several fellows this is how their wives are when they are caressing them, so perhaps she was awake.  I couldn't tell because the camera angle never showed her face.  

The first minute was a bunch of boob manipulation.  Squeezing, pinching nipples, that sort of action.  Then we move down to her very nice ***, which is a little confusing because she was on her back, but suddenly is on her tummy.  So the continuity is a little choppy.  Then we get a half minute of buttcheek squeezing without much else, when suddenly we get a peek at her hole.  Instead of poking in there, though, we endure another half minute plus or so of a guy grabbing her lovely chocolate-coloured globes.  Left, right, left, right.  She remains perfectly still.  Then, whoosh, she's on her back again.  It's a bit dizzying how she flips without you seeing it happen.  Like a magic trick or something. 

His hands go for the *****, which has a nice dark bush, and her ****.  Multi-tasking.  I like that.  But then suddenly he abandons her puss for more boob mashing.  Really?  The title of the piece is FINGER ****** POV.  One would expect to see more than a few seconds of finger *******.  At least, this reviewer expects that.  But, no.  More boob mashing.  Then almost grudgingly, he returns to her ****.  This is at the 2:48 mark of a 4:09 minute film. 

He pets the puss a while, then suddenly opens the clam to reveal a bit of pink at about 3:05.  Aha!  Surely the rest will be good.  But, no.  As quick as she's shown the good stuff, suddenly her legs draw together and are lifted up.  Fingering is apparently over.  Then - oh, happy day, he goes after her lips again, and opens to show the pink, then plunges a finger in deep.  But here's the thing: that's at 3:52.  So you're only talking about 10 seconds or so of goodness.  And without any moaning, whimpering or wiggling around, the total effect is minimal.  Such a disappointment.

You can watch it for yourself at http://www.indianpornvideos.com/video/finger-******-pov-yhSVjKEufyu.html#.ULZgT4VaRCY  but I wouldn't bother.

I suppose it's not a fair test of Indian **** to just look at this one clip, so I'll check out some others and let you know if I find anything promising.  But I gotta tell you I am very unimpressed so far.
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
2 Responses Nov 30, 2012

Thanks for the heads up. Foreign **** is certainly interesting. And many foreign women are incredibly beautiful. But we become rather spoiled by American ****. We're used to the norms: big *****, big breasts, shaved *******, etc. Foreign **** is often more a novelty and even humorous, as in the Japanese often blurring the genitals. Seeing things that we aren't used to can even be discomforting. I'll never forget two experiences. In 1979 I spent three weeks in Moscow studying volleyball with Russian Olympic coaches. I was part of a sport exchange tour. When we met our two interpreters, the first was very pretty, with great clothes, hair and makeup. She had beautiful legs in nylons.The second gal was cute, but dressed rather plain with poor makeup. She had nylons on, but unlike her prettier and Westernized counterpart, she didn't shave. So matted beneath the sheath of nylons was thick, black leg hair poking through. Yikes! The prettier gal, it was later explained, was a member of the Communist Party, and the other interpreter, not. Hence, the haves and have nots appearance. A few years later, in 1982, I was in the Army in the Berlin Brigade. I was riding on a bus to downtown. A very attractive German girl got on for a short ride. When she stood in the aisle and reached up for the handhold bar that ran the length of the bus, I saw, this huge hairy armpit, just like my own. Wow, I thought, Europeans! We become very used to what we know and like.

Indeed.

Quite the fantastic movie review. I'm sure glad you've provided this valuable service to us movie fans. Since I can't say that I'm an expert with this, it's always good to have advice on an indie flick. I'll have to check in with you in the future for other guidance. ;)

I am there for you, darling.