Outside I'm SuccessfulI'm a high functioning psychopath with tendencies towards charismatic. I make people around me feel good. I love to feed off their positive emotions. I can't feel them but I can see them and it gives me energy to continue. I am successful well educated, intelligent a master at blending, kind in my outward appearance and actions, i dress well and from the outside I look spectacular but on the inside I'm a dark black abyss. There is nothing there. I am married and even my spouse does not understand how dark and blank it really is.
There are days the darkness could consume me but what makes me so successful is that I ignore it. I stare through the black and see my life and that drives me to continue. What makes up for the blackness is my success. To be who I am and to have accomplished so much to be without any feeling and still not injure anyone, not hurt people for my pleasure, not be in jail, addicted to drugs is what makes me successful. I am a success and that takes great effort on my part and one thing I cannot tolerate is wasted effort so the black emptiness will never win.
I like being able to walk into a room and know things instantly without having to think about it. Without having to do anything. I can see who needs what, who is thinking what and how to interact with each one. I have two people who are psychopaths in my life. We get together every couple of months and compare stories, abilities and blackness, emptiness. They are both highly successful and use their abilities to read a room to their advantage. Sometimes it is enough to know you are not alone and that we are not the evil vile people tv and movies portray us to be. I would never harm another person for my own pleasure or own desire but I wouldn't think twice if I had to harm them. It would never bother me....and when I'm mad enough to kill someone I really mean it but I've chosen to be "normal" and so I find other methods of relieving that anger. I'm intelligent, capable and a master of disguising myself. I am a highly successful functioning psychopath.