I Am A Gay, Black, Christian Man!

I am a 36 year old , african american, gay Christian man.  I was just "outed" by a close relative.   He came to my home 10 years ago and went snooping on my computer and found things he didnt want to on it.  I asked him to stop snooping around my computer and later had to ask him to leave.  Since then, hes tried to make me pay for his keeping this secret of mine (which I never denied or verified) Hes done everything from sending occasional emails to my siblings (of which I have 8 other than him) , to whispering his"facts" to MY friends.  Even attempting to be civil with him have always ended up with him getting into my home to either snoop around on my computers, looking through my closets and drawers, to snooping around on my home and cell phone caller id's.  He became hateful and mean about everything with me and it only got worse after our mother and father, who both recently passed away, told him to knock it off.  He became more angry and just finally, with no restraint went on a campaign of his own paranoia, and just flat outed me to everyone I know!  This includes my church, my family, friends and anyone else who will listen to his foolishness.  I finally answered HIM and the others who wanted to know with a resounding YES , IM GAY!  This will forever change the space I live in.  Being black, male , Christian, and GAY dont really fit in the same senence very well for most people.  I didnt want to play this out this way, but I have to learn to live FREE now.  That means new friends, finding a new church community, and a new family.  This has been liberating, but very painful.  I feel very alone but I know I am LOVED by God through this.  I have lived a very clean life through all of this, having only dated 4 people since I was 20 years old, and dont "sleep around" or do anything that even remotely looks messy.  I had to separate myself from the untruthfulness of my old friends, church and family's fear and runaway imagination on this issue with me, and just ...LIVE.
adamhungman adamhungman
8 Responses May 22, 2010

Just as you said, you are loved by God through this. Please hang on to that. I know how easy it is to give up. I wish you the best.

sorry that that "person" was so hateful to you and unconcerned with his own hatred and mental/emotional unhealth. I understand how much that hurt you. It has been a while since you wrote this story. How are you doing??? How has life turned out for you so far?? How about your family and friends and church?? I will understand if you dont want to answer. Trusting God that you are much better. God bless

I agree, you are now free to live your life the way that is best for you, and the more power to you! :-) My little brother is gay and I was the person he came out to, at the time he was 17 and I was 27. I always knew he was gay and when he came out it was no shock at all and that is exactly how I presented it to my family, "no big deal, so what, it's his story, we have our own story live!" I hope now you have the chance to write and live your own life story instead living out the sc<x>ript that others would like you to. :-)

Good for you, stay free and strong. I glad you desided to move on and change church's. I to am a sexchange and have been in this church for 19yrs. they say that they love me and understand, but I know God still love's me. I am single and stay away from sexual sin, and things that are not good for me. I am Spirit filled and can not change anything I have done. I have a ministry that God gave me and it has been a blessing. To show God's love for all, and not judges other's sin, it belongs to God.

Just remember that the love you feel in your heart cannot be wrong! They can't feel what you feel.

There are those who only see the flesh of the human being.Our Father knows both, the human and the inner being.It's love that returns us to him in paradise not our gender .There is no male and female we are known only as his children.Church is society ,a social circle that must require its members to follow the dogma of those who were the founders. If you are Christian Paul of Tarsus is the founder of your religion. You only need to read the book of Acts to realize there was no love for anyone who would not accept the God he was creating. Be proud of who you are and God will be proud of you..I love you and I am not Gay or Christian..I am a child of my God a God of love

Joerio, I really feel sorry for you if you really believe your words are "help" to me or anyone. First, get your bible straight! Sodom and Gommorrah werent destroyed for homosexuality, it was idolotry! Secondly, I didnt say that I am practicing anything, I am acknowledging that I am what I am. You make excuse for your own permissiveness as a "so-called" straight person by condemining what you THINK I do. I dont agree with, nor do I practice anything like what you think most gay people do. You have judged something you have no idea about! Lastly, if you really feel like your bible interpretations are so exclusive against gay people, tell me this..... Do you look at women and lust? Do you observe the sabbath? Do you stone your children when they disobey? If not, Id look more into living inside the grace of God instead of classifying what you think is someone elses sin , as your personal soapbox to condemn others!