I Am A Gay, Black, Christian Man!
I am a 36 year old , african american, gay Christian man. I was just "outed" by a close relative. He came to my home 10 years ago and went snooping on my computer and found things he didnt want to on it. I asked him to stop snooping around my computer and later had to ask him to leave. Since then, hes tried to make me pay for his keeping this secret of mine (which I never denied or verified) Hes done everything from sending occasional emails to my siblings (of which I have 8 other than him) , to whispering his"facts" to MY friends. Even attempting to be civil with him have always ended up with him getting into my home to either snoop around on my computers, looking through my closets and drawers, to snooping around on my home and cell phone caller id's. He became hateful and mean about everything with me and it only got worse after our mother and father, who both recently passed away, told him to knock it off. He became more angry and just finally, with no restraint went on a campaign of his own paranoia, and just flat outed me to everyone I know! This includes my church, my family, friends and anyone else who will listen to his foolishness. I finally answered HIM and the others who wanted to know with a resounding YES , IM GAY! This will forever change the space I live in. Being black, male , Christian, and GAY dont really fit in the same senence very well for most people. I didnt want to play this out this way, but I have to learn to live FREE now. That means new friends, finding a new church community, and a new family. This has been liberating, but very painful. I feel very alone but I know I am LOVED by God through this. I have lived a very clean life through all of this, having only dated 4 people since I was 20 years old, and dont "sleep around" or do anything that even remotely looks messy. I had to separate myself from the untruthfulness of my old friends, church and family's fear and runaway imagination on this issue with me, and just ...LIVE.
adamhungman 36-40 8 Responses 6 May 22, 2010