Do I Change?

I grew up Christian, and still believe heavily in the Lord. I moved away from home to go to college and just stopped going to church because I haven't found a church that I like where I am at. But I still talk to god on a daily basis. At the same time, for the past three years I have been coming to the conclusion that I am bi. And I know that I am now. I have acted on that and have slept around, which I regret but at the same time I don't. I finally came out to my parents and they won't accept it. I've been praying on this for years now and I haven't talked to them in a couple of weeks because of this. I don't know what to do. I truely believe that God makes people a certain way for a reason, but I have failed to see it for me. My dad told me that I should choose to be straight. Any advice?

agentsherlock agentsherlock
18-21, M
10 Responses Feb 23, 2009

It is simple no one chooses to be gay or straight. Any one who believes that is foolish and simple minded at best. My brother never chose to straight and I never chose to be gay. Why would any right minded person choose to be gay given the hate that Christians throw at us. Love God, try your best to do what is right, and try to practice the love that Jesus showed toward sinners.

Be who you are, remind them that you cannot change, and accept yourself fully. Once you can do that, they will eventually accept you too.

Oh, I think I should also mention my coming out. When I was a kid, I always knew I was gay. It was just too obvious for me. It wasn't a question if I liked girls or not, it was a question of if I like boys or not. I figured not. Now I am a happy lesbian, with a loving partner of 18 years, three beautiful children whom I love dearly and would give my world for them, and the job I always wanted as a kid. When I finally came out to my mom, she screamed her head off, and kicked me out of the house for two days. She wasn't against gays, she just didn't want ME to be gay. But I was. And she accepted that, because as parents, it is our job too. I have my heart out for you, good luck.

God made you the way you are; do not try to change because you can't. God wanted you gay for a reason. I am 71 and still do not know that answer for me; but having cancer and surviving it, I know God kept me alive for a reason.<br />
I don't suggest sleeping around; but someday you may find your life's companion to make your life more complete. Do not turn your back, embrace him. He will have been sent by God to be your partner, just as you were meant to be his partner.<br />
Until then, my friend, stay safe and continue to love the Lord.

One of my biggest struggles about coming out was reconciling who I really was with my faith. I my heart of hearts I know that God loves me as I am. Actually this website is helping realize that I can still be who I am and be Christian. You can't choose to be straight. You are who you are. Read my story "I Am" and see what happens when you deny who you really are and "try" to be straight. A lot of people can get hurt in the process. God bless you, brother

Even if your parents don't accept you for who you are,it's your life-live it the way you want and be happy.If you live your life on other people's terms then it's not really living is it?

YOU KNOW LIFE TAKES YOU IN SO MANY DIRECTIONS AND IT TAKES YOU SO FAST THAT YOU CAN BARLEY CAN bl<x>ink YOUR EYES. YOU CHANGE YOURSELF NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE IF YOUR PARENTS CANT ACCPET YOU THEN ASK THEM IF THEY REALLY LOVE YOU. IF THEY REALLY LOVE YOU THEN THEY ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF THEY DONT APPROVE OF YOUR LIFESTYLE

I am in the same boat with my parents. The best thing I have found that I can do for myself is learn. Knowledge is power. I know that God loves me and that I was created this way. That much I can feel, but as far as what the Bible said, and what the church teaches, and what my family believes. I read as many books and watch as many videos as I can on the topic. The more I know, the more hopeful I become that my family will eventually accept me.<br />
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Look at imstillme.net for articles and resources

God created you just as you are and he loves you just as you are right now. Lets pray your parents begin to accept you just as Jesus does. Find a gay affirming church in your area. Also, check out some of the media links on savedandgay.com

Ha, well I'd comment something inspiring, but it seems like I've been beaten. Pretty much what's already been said is what I was going to say, so... yeah. Good luck!

Your sexuality is something you have absolutely no choice in; my brother is gay and he himself has said that given a choice he would be straight - not out of some sense of self-loathing, but simply because it is far easier for straight people. Life is far more complicated if you're gay, not least because you are constantly feeling like you have to explain yourself, or excuse your choices - if you were straight and brought home a girl, no-one would bat an eyelid; but bring home another man and whooooaa! this is so hypocritical, but sadly it's a fact in most newly-out's experience. The lucky ones (like my brother), have understanding and open-minded families and their coming out causes a ripple or two with the older generation, but nothing more than that - then there's the unlucky ones like you, who are met with intolerance and sometimes cruelty or ridicule - and often these families claim to be 'Christian'. I find this very odd; if God is so anti-gay, why does he keep 'creating' gay people? Perhaps you could ask your dad if he knows the answer, lol. I was brought up Catholic, go to mass on Sundays, but would describe myself as agnostic, at best - i wish i could believe, really believe, but so many Christians are so self-righteous that they fail to see the true meaning of Christianity; tolerance, forgiveness, hope and, above all else, LOVE.<br />
Never mind what your parents say; i reckon you're cool with Jesus ;)