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I Don't Want to Be a Gay Christian!

Here is what I want: (I know that the best way to get GOD to laugh is by telling him what you want and what you are going to do but...)

I want to love GOD without doubting him, I want a family with a loving wife and children, I don't want to be gay!

If it were that easy. 

I am in the Army National Guard, I work for UPS, My background is Korean and I am the "first son" which pretty much means I am the top player in my family hierarchy. (in other words I am the son who's children really carry on the family name and all of my other family members will look up to me for advise, btw in this tradition the parent's live with the oldest son so my parent's will live with me until they die), did I mention that I am Christian and I was raised in the Catholic church.

My best friends in the world are my fellow soldiers in the ARMY and I love em like brothers funny thing is that I don't feel as if I really have any friends at all because I can't be truth full with them.  I know that I should find some friends from church.  Did that back in Inter-varsity Christian Fellowship and well I told this close friend I was gay... let's just say he got out of dodge.  I don't blame him but it hurt and made me scared to make that decision again.

can I say that I hate gays!... hate is a strong word but I really hate myself and my homosexuality.  Therefore I simply hate gays.  I don't want to hate them but as a child I was always a softy and because of this I was called a ***.  I have always wondered if being called gay everyday of your life will steer you in that direction.  If it does then I have to hate gays... right? 

Depression is not my sickness it is a chronic state of being.  I can't put into words how bad life feels when you can't stand yourself.  When you feel that you are a liar to everyone who means something to you.  The fear that if you come out then you will face discharge, losing a good job, hurting family (this one gets me the most.  I honestly believe that my parent's would die from that kind of news)

and still.... God has my heart.  I gave it to him, I have felt him, but I even find myself cowering in his presence because I don't feel on equal playing ground.  I expect for God to hate me because of what I am.  I know he doesn't hate me but I would understand his hate.  I have tried to change and I don't think I can.  It hurts.

I know this post was jumbled, I just needed to get some of this off of my chest.

Blaznazian Blaznazian 26-30 31 Responses Jul 16, 2009

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Hey. I've been in a bad spot lately myself not trusting in God, I've been in church all my life and served Him but its not until over four years ago that I really really took God more serious as in there was more then to serving Him when everything is all oh ok, but in saying that its been a real struggle to be what He wants me to be, being a singer and songwriter, music in me as fade away somewhat, I can't bring myself back to it almost as if I have lost my song completely so don't feel alone on this cause there is a God and wether we believe in Him sometimes or not at other times, He always believe in us and loves us more then we love ourselves.

Thank you for your sharing and people who gave sharings :') it really helps me alot, that many people struggle as I do, that I am not lonely, thank you

First I want to commend you for sharing your story that take alot of courage to share something that delicate and personal. My heart aches for you, I have been ministering to gays all morning I believe that this is my ministry, I definitely can identify with you in some ways especially about culture. I am a christian Asexual woman that never want to marry or have children. This don't fly too well with the black community and in church. I just started attending this church, and i have met a wonderful woman there. We are just friends, but already people suspect something, even though there is nothing going on unpure. My family suspects it, they don't understand someone as beautiful and saved as I am don't want to ever marry. I told them that I am Asexual, my sister accepts me and is married, but she is the youngest so it is harder on me just like you mentioned. I told this friend of mines, she want to understand, but she don't. i don't know if we will remain friends, only time will tell. She want to get married and have two more kids, I don't have a problem with that, it's just that I don't want it. People have tried to make me want it, or have tired to make me think that something is wrong with me. But I have made the choice to remain single and serve God with my whole life. I like both sexes for just platonic friendships- this is not a sin. My point is I can identify with you about rejection and lying about who you really are. Sometimes I am depressed about it, But because of my relationship with the Lord, He keeps me going and make my day brighter. I love you and will not judge you, you already know right from wrong, i won't come at you like that, but what I will say is that you are not alone! I am here for you! And so is God, He will never abandon or turn His back on you like people will. Let Him shower yo with His love, talk to Him, He will listen, let Him deliver you my brother! He loves you, and has big plans for you! I have been where you are, is it hurtful? Of course, who wants to be rejected? Remember Jesus was. He was rejected and despised by man acquainted with sorrow and grief, he feel your pain and sorrow, and he is right there with you. You must turn to him completely, stay in your Word! fast for three days and three nights, you are a army man you know what sacrifice is. Ask Him to purge you and he will from that spirit! He is able! There is nothing He cant deliver from! I am cabgirl, and I am here for you, check my blog out chozengirlblog.wordpress.com. If you want to chat or have questions or want to pray, that is what my blog is about. Remember Jesus want you to make it! His desire is for none to perish but that all will come into repentance!

I think people like you, is what Jesus mentions as "those who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake". Sometimes, I feel that homosexuals fit into that too. I don't think there's anything wrong with asexuals. I wish I was either that, or straight. Lol it would make my life a lot easier.

I only wish that since you have publised this story you are in a better place with your faith and with yourself. I understand that some struggles are life long but through prayer anything is possible to overcome. I, like you have struggled with sexual preference ( being gay) since as early as i can remember. When i was really young I was abused sexually but i honestly think that does not determines someone sexual preference. From my knowledge I was born this way. To me personally this "life style" was not a choice. So many nights I have fallen asleep wishing tomarrow that girls would be my main intrest. Then at the same time your fighting this internal conflict, your stuck in a world where you cant talk about it. I am 21 years old and as grateful as i am for all of gods blessings in alot of ways I feel like a failure. Like the say peaks and Vallys. my advice to people struggling with this or anything is dont let faith slip. Sometimes we become angry at god and at the people that claim to be good Christians, for there judgemental or unloving ways. People treat us like our sin being is the the ultimate sin. That we should stop being gay as easy as they stop supposably telling lies. We are all gods children and he loves us all. Just keep a relationship to god. Talk to him Pray to him and thank him, have faith in him. Do this and i feel he will lead you to where he wants you.

Next time your praying to him dont say God:please make me straight
Instead say
God:please take me straight to where you want me to be
God Bless....and thanks for reading

Jesus said, "if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me".<br />
<br />
I found those words after a bad night of falling to gay lust online. The author said it was hard, but kind of cool too. I read his blog and was blown away by his brutal honesty when it came to painful online addictions, making meaningful friendships with other guys, and so on, but above all it was obvious that he loved God more than his own flesh. I was a Christian too, but had never met any other believer who identified with this struggle in a way I could actually agree with- the ones I had heard about had all embraced the gay lifestyle. We've been staying in contact since then and it's been really encouraging. He's one of the most authentic believers I know.<br />
<br />
The first time I ever came out though, I was in a pretty desperate place really hating myself a lot until I entered into conversation with another believer who was feeling the same way. He was telling me how his own HETROsexual struggles with lust were making him feel just as dirty as I was secretly feeling, and I knew then that I had to come clean. It's hard to explain, but it literally felt like a physical weight had been lifted. We both believe homosexual behavior is wrong, but he has continued standing by me and reaffirming who I am in Christ in a way most still haven't.<br />
<br />
What I've learned from all of this (SSA and non-SSA friends alike): We have entirely legitimate emotional needs which we need to meet inside the church, and these needs have nothing to do with sex. Find a church where you can bring other trusted brothers in on your struggles. You need them and they actually need you too. We were meant to carry each other's burdens. The more authentic friends I've made the more I've realized how messed up we all are. Not in the same ways certainly, but we are all messed up, eagerly awaiting with patience the bodily resurrection promised in Romans 8:18-25 where we WILL be free from these struggles. Until then we do suffer, so keep fighting. You're not alone- you're in good company.

Hi there....I am also Christian, and I know your pain. I also have the same problem, I don't know where it started, I can remember being 5 years old and already attract to boys. Sometimes I think that something happen when I was a kid, but I can't remember if I was abused or anthing like that. I tried to understand why I was born liked that, and if I was really born like this...I really cant tell....Now that I am know the WORD i suffer a lot, and I have tried everything to change, and I just cant...Sometimes I am good for a few days, or months, but them it come all over it...I am a father, I love my daughter, I love my wife, and it just makes me cry inside for being the person I am...I only hope is that GOD will change me one day, I dont have strenght to change myself so I wait in GOD...Trust GOD my friend, one day we will be free.

Jesus love you. Although you are sins against him, Jesus want to heal you. Would you accept his help?

http://www.harvestwarriors.com/

This web site maybe would help you.

I know what you're going through, my friend, because I'm going through that as well. To feel afraid because your very friends might avoid you if they know, even those who we've known for years. To put on the mask everyday and act "normal". To say the right words and answer the right questions so that no one might suspect. To go away from people, disconnect from the world because you feel so ashamed, so different, so out of place, thinking that they would NEVER love you if they know who you REALLY are. To drift away from close friends to protect them from yourself because you don't know for if for some reason, you'll turn into gay mode on them suddenly.... This burden is heavy and many have given up.

Luckily for me, I've told 2 of my close friends, 2 pastors, a cousin, 2 bible study leaders, and they tried to understand. But they never dodged me. They treated me the same as if I haven't told them. I BELIEVE there are people around you who will try to understand and treat you the same.

I lived a pure life (no ****, lusting) for a year with God's power before my compromise. I BELIEVE that you can too if you cultivate your relationship with Him. I love Him and I BELIEVE that He is real and loves me because of all the undeniable things He has done in my life to place me here. I believe and am saved by Jesus and I still struggle so hard. I've come to accept myself because I can't deny it. But I CHOOSE what I do. I choose to live differently and not give in. One day, we'll be different. I am looking forward to that day. But let's keep going. I believe that we can do this! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Praying for you :)
Love you bro.

Yes, you will get through it my brother, I will continue to pray for you!

I don't wanna be one either. When you figure out a way not to be, let me know. I try to not hate myself too much, though it's difficult. Lots of self loathing. At least you are trying to have a family and honor. God understands. He knows your frame, and mine as well. He does not hate us. I really believe he has mercy on us more than we know. Try to give yourself a break. I will do the same. I DO have bouts with depression and this issue is one of the precipitating factors of the suffering. All I have is one day at a time. I do the best to get through my day. I pray you as well as I will be okay.

Its ok man just believe and ask god for forgiveness, he is still on the throne and anything is possible.

First of all God doesn't hate anything he created. He only hates what he didn't create... sin. This also applies to you, you should never hate gays because of the fact that you are one (hint hint strong homophobes actually have an attraction to the same sex). I'm not going to be the one to tell you give in, accept it, you'll never not be gay. That's BS. All I can say is that you should fight through it, there's a community of us that don't want to be this way but we simply are. Talking to people like yourself will definitely help you get through it. That's how you solve this by getting through it, keep fighting.

Respectfully and sincerely, i am a man who share your struggle. I yearn for a "normal" life with a wife, children, and strong Christian values. But i have this curse of homosexuality...which feels like a terminal disease. I share and empathize with the loneliness, shame, mistrust, and hate that you identify. So what do we do?! We must remember that the world is headed in a nontraditional Christian direction for the most part, which is the antithesis of what Jesus requires for us to be SAVED. Lewd and lasciviousness, same sex unions and marriages, open and disclosed homosexual activity, sex trafficking, etc., to name a few. Regardless of what the world and people may try to convince you to believe, you already have and own the truth in your heart. If you didn't believe it was so, you wouldn't struggle with the conviction...which is of the Holy Spirit. The issue that i have with most people who say that they are believers and Christians is that they isolate the SIN from the INDIVIDUAL, when it is the INDIVIDUAL who parishes for living in SIN. The bible said so. Continue to have a repenting heart and welcome your conviction because it keeps us grounded in Christ. Jesus said for he that over cometh and endure to the end shall have everlasting life upon his return. and you will over come. God Bless my Christian brother...have peace and be still.

Great word! It helped me a lot.

Yes, I agree 100 percent! Keep fighting, don't give up or give in to temptation, but with the temptation, He will make a way of escape! Stay in your bible, stay close to God, remember He loves you! And He want you to make it. His desire is that none would perish and that all will come into repentance. He loves what He created, so much that He gave His only begotten son for creation. Be encouraged, hold your head up high, let God deliver you, take it one day at a time! I am here for any who want to chat or just simply pray. I know it gets lonely sometimes, but remember, Jesus is always there!

My brother in Christ,<br />
I just wanted to say that I understand your struggle and I'm right there beside you. I'll lift up a prayer for you and ask that you'd do the same for me as well. Thanks so much, God bless you and I pray He'll give you strength to follow Him above all else.

I see gay people....

sorry but i think what Juanmarmenta said is utterly crap. that kind of opinion is totally why religion (which suppose to teach love) started wars.<br />
<br />
My take is that religions are old. They were started in eras when humans were being misled by many other factors. They were writings and teachings to bring people together of that time, to learn about respect and live in harmony. But people like Juanmarmenta whose opinions about being inclusive and exclusive are scary ideas that has been past done for generations. They do not see beyond reasoning and firmly believe they are right and just. The exact opinions that are still causing wars and terrorism. <br />
<br />
I believe in god. I believe that the church is good because it does teach goodness. But the church does not agree with me. That's because the church follows a tradition that they can't change overnight without falling into chaos. But I don't think i'm wrong in god's eyes because he made me this way. Likewise a bushman in Africa that never had the privilege to know any religion, do you think he is condemn? god made him that way and placed him there. So who's fault is it?<br />
<br />
lastly, being gay is not a choice. having butterflies in your stomach when you meet someone you like (same or opposite sex) can't be cultivated. It's just a lame excuse for people who doesn't know any better other than "i need to go for holy war for my religion". Causing and planting fear in others is the same however you say or do it.<br />
<br />
In short, there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with god nor any religion. It's just how some people see it. Don't hate gays. A lot of them do many good things and better things than bad christians.

I remember only too well where you are - I was developing naturally as a happy young gay man when I hit the usual teenage struggle with my sexuality and fell into pentecostal Christianity at the age of 16, following some blatant lies about supposed 'words of knowledge' given to elders at a church I visited. Long story. After relentless counselling to heal me of being gay (yep, still only 16!) I spent the next 10 years screwing myself up in knots, trying to twist all gay thoughts out of my head and screwed up a few girlfriends around me in the process. <br />
<br />
Thankfully, I drifted from the church at uni and found the strength to follow my heart and finally accept and live the truth - to stop the lies to myself, my family, my mum, and tell her I was gay just before she died of cancer when I was 26. <br />
<br />
I can remember what a leap of faith this took. I believed I would lose everything and it was literally like stepping off the edge of a cliff into unknown clouds below. <br />
<br />
It got easier with time and now I rarely even think about those difficult struggles. The truth does set you free. Being gay isn't an easy path and there are challenges, but I will never have regrets because it is MY path, not me trying to walk someone else's. The feeling you get from becoming truly authentic will never leave you and will become the most treasured realisation you can ever know. <br />
<br />
FOLLOW YOUR HEART, LIVE YOUR TRUTH!

People of my faith have been treating our GLBT brothers and<br />
sisters deplorably. I hope we Christians can get the message<br />
of love across and stop voilating human dignity and human<br />
rights with our preconcieved notions of bigotry.<br />
I am so terribly ashaimed and sorry for the actions taken<br />
in the name of Christ.<br />
Christs love is perfect.<br />
Mankinds is not.<br />
God be with you.

I've seen and known people who, thru healing and deliverance, gotten rid of the spirit of homosexuality. thru healing and deliverance, I've become free of lust. and have self-control. remember, the bible says that the fruit of the spirit is self-control.

Yes, you are right, there is nothing God can't do! That is how we should get at them. But it is a choice we all have to take no matter what we struggle with.

I have a gay cousin and he truly believes he is a christian. I am not the judge of him but I do know God destroyed Sodom and Gomorah because of this exact thing. He did not make us to be with the same sex. He made Adam a woman to be with him. I will pray for you as well as my cousin and I know God will work it out if you are sincere. Keep praying and have much FAITH and God will help you.

Wow, this really spoke to me specially because we have so much in common. I'm also Korean and an also in the IV Fellowship in college right now. There's so many aspects of your life that being a homosexual and especially an ashamed homosexual disrupts: family life, thoughts of self value, trust issues, ability to be open, emotional stability, religious beliefs, friend relationships etc. <br />
<br />
I'm trying to get closer to God but I feel like this is a huge barrier. I mean this is a sin different than any others, isn't it? This is something we know we can't change no matter how hard we try, whatever skeptics may believe. God didn't make people into liars or thieves but he made us this way. We are sinners by definition of our identity. Kind of unfair, isn't it?<br />
<br />
I feel like talking about this with someone might help but like you, I'm terrified of a bad response. I've hated this part of myself for so long. I've even entertained dumb fantasies. I thought, how great would it be if all the lesbians in the world could give their attraction to women to gays and vice versa. Of course, there seem to be more gay men than gay women, but I thought what if I was in the lucky number that could be changed..<br />
<br />
I've rejected this all my life but I feel my denial fading and that in itself makes it all the more frightening. My budding acceptance makes it all the more real. I don't have any answers for you and I hope you are a better man than I am and have figured it out for yourself by now. Through Christ maybe? I really don't know. Just know you are worlds away from being alone and I'll pray to our God for you. Stay strong, my man.

How can you say you are a "gay" Christian? You are creating a separation of the meaning in itself! Everyone is the same in the body of Christ. I do understand the struggle with the flesh to do homosexual acts, but if you are who you claim to be then you know that this is just the Devil trying to separate you from the love of Christ.

The last comment was in 09 I noticed. I hope you are still around. I think the comment before mine said it very well. I also hope and pray you no longer hate yourself and have found some peace. regards, D ;-)

Type your comment here...I am SO sorry you are letting a delusional, superstitious belief in a made-up, contradictory religion warp what is a wonderful aspect of who you are and what should make you be a proud person.<br />
<br />
I did NOT choose to be this way and since Christianity believes that a thought is as bad as an act, simply thinking about a member of the same sex in a sexual way was JUST as much of a sin as actually having done it - and just because you THINK it - you are damned to hell - well, I just could not believe in a God that would make me just so that he could damn me. It really made me start examining my "faith" in Christianity and the Bible.<br />
<br />
I started reading the Bible, and here's what I found. I found that in the SAME book of Leviticus, where it says that homosexuality is an abomination - it also says to not eat shrimp or cheeseburgers or ham. In fact, it says to not breed two different types of cows together, and considering that modrn cattle are all hybridized in the last 2000 years, that means you really shouldn't be eating any beef, either. If it's bad to breed them - it's OBVIOUSLY bad to eat them if they were bred that way!<br />
<br />
OH - and no 50/50 Cotton Polyester blends (then again, who would wear that if they were gay???). Nope - mixing two fibers in the same cloth is a no-no.<br />
<br />
AND - so is talking with a woman who is menstruating. MUST NOT DO IT. Yep! You should hold a sign up to EVERY woman you come into contact with that asks them, "Are you on the rag right now?" If they answer yes, you must RUN and consider yourself UNCLEAN! And then sacrifice some pigeons and a goat or two to de-menstruate-yourself. ICK!<br />
<br />
SO - why aren't Christians doing these things (or not, as the case may be)??? Seems like they picked and chose what they want to adhere to and threw the rest out and conveniently ignored it.<br />
<br />
Ask a Christian why he can eat shrimp and he says, "Uh, cuz Jesus said we could?" Nope. Jesus said that not ONE JOT of the law will be changed due to his coming. "Uh, then because those were Jewish laws." OK, if that was a Jewish law and it only pertains to Jews, then fine! No Jewish Gays allowed. I'm not Jewish. Are you? "Uh, because it says it in other places in the Bible." EH - nope. Paul might mention it, but the funny thing about Paul? Well, he never met Jesus. Ever. Never heard him speak. Nope. He might have had a "conversion" - but ONLY AFTER he found out that the Jewish Christians weren't letting Gentile Christians in their flocks. Here was an untapped market and he JUMPED on it since the whole Tax Collector thing wasn't paying him enough. <br />
<br />
"Oh, that's a HORRIBLE thing to say about Paul!" Why? Peter said it several times, as did the other Apostles, who shunned Paul as a fanatic. Oh, and before you get any more huffy, did you know that Paul never quotes Jesus as saying anything? Did you know that not even ONCE does Paul even mention Jesus as having lived on Earth - but only as some mystical spooky space-zombie?<br />
<br />
Please don't focus the ENTIRE homophobic hate from Christians due to just Paul. And there's no other mention of homosexuality AT ALL anywhere else. And no, the over-rationalized story of Sodom & Gomorrah and the stretch of an argument in John could be interpreted in MANY different ways other than homosexuality.<br />
<br />
So what do we have? We have a religion, based on lies, that can't even keep contradictions out of it, that picks and chooses what it wants out of its scripture and conveniently ignores others. And you want to base your entire sexual - but not ONLY sexual - your entire EMOTIONAL life based on lies like those?<br />
<br />
Because homosexuality isn't just about sex. It's who you love. It's who you want to bond with. It's who completes you as a person. It's who you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's someone that makes you want to be a better person. In short - it's EVERY SINGLE THING that straight couples give for being in love.<br />
<br />
You want to rob yourself of that? You'd respect a god that would expect that of you AFTER MAKING YOU THAT WAY? <br />
<br />
I'm sorry for you if you are so brainwashed you can't see the truth. I'm sorry for the life you'll lead. I'm sorrythat you'll probably one day come to realize the mistake you've made and you'll end up not only hurting yourself - but your spouse & kids. I'm sorry that if you truly do remain Christian, you won't get to feel sorry that Christianity was all just a lie - because you'll merely be DEAD.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry that you've joined one of the most hypocritical religions around.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry that you can't see that being gay is who you are - and that Christianity is the CHOICE (and a bad one, at that).<br />
<br />
My words won't convince you. Your heart will have to. Maybe not today, but hopefully soon.

That last part, "I'm sorry that you can't see that being gay is who you are - and that Christianity is the CHOICE (and a bad one, at that)."

You got it backwards. Being gay is not who you are, it's a choice!!! Your not born gay! It's a choice! There are so many confused people in this world and pick and choices what "section" and "parts" of the bible. Bottom line, god did not create you being gay it's agains his word. Does he still love you? Yes! Does it say that whoever believes in him and confess that Jesus is lord shall be saved. Yes! All of that apply! But if your "gay" you can never really be honest and truthfull with your walk with god.

says who?

Says God!

Thanks for posting this.<br />
<br />
I am in a very similar situation, I am struggling Christ-follower and I am gay. I have not told anyone I know, but have acknowledged it before God. I can relate to your feelings of distain for who you are, and as I fight and ask God to make me pure and in His image I am constantly reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.<br />
<br />
I am reaching the point where I feel what I have believed to be a very personal struggle is something that God is telling me to bring out into community. My closest friends do not know who I am actually am, and I am terrified that they will abandon me. But I know that God created us to be in community, holding one another accountable as we lift each other up. So I am slowly trying to find the courage to tell my Christian brothers and sisters who I really am, and to ask them for their help.<br />
<br />
Continue to push forward to towards perfection, because none of us were made for anything less.

If you are still around, I hope come to my blog we need to talk. Chozengirlblog.wordpress.com Jesus loves you! And so does Cabgirl!

I wish everyone could see what I see. Gay people are getting saved, walking with God, developing their relationship with Jesus. It's amazing.<br />
Jesus said... whosoever believes... there was no classification for that.<br />
<br />
God made you just the way you are. <br />
www.savedandgay.com

I see what your saying about gays being saved and walking with the lord, etc.

Whoever believes yes! Anyone and everyone can be saved and follow god BY CHOICE. But again, if you still continue to be gay while your a Christian. There is a problem, your not committing fully to God. If you are truely listening and understanding Gods word, then you know that the gay lifestyle is a problem to God. But if you are a person who don't want to be gay but your still thinking it, your on the right path. Training your mind is the biggest key! I don't want to go any further unless your one that wished to change. Comment or let me know.

If god made you gay, wouldn't going against it be going against his wishes? also the bible was written in a very homophobic time and maybe the disciples were merely going with the trends.

God did not make any one gay. The experiences that people experienced made them gay which I know for sure was in childhood, when they were vulnerable and didn't know any better that spirit entered in- But God is able to deliver!

thanks for your comments. i am in a similar situation as well , struggling to understand myself and determine what the right course would be for God and for my family, and for me. <br />
i have no real advice to give which would not be echoing what has been said, but i would like to encourage you to keep thinking about it and wrestling with God over it. remember also, though, that you are loved by God, and His love is overarching over whatever you feel you have done or how wrong you feel. you are His son, and will continue to be regardless of what you do.

Wrestle with god over it? I hope your not talking about arguing and making HIM relize that you are right? That's foolish if you think your gonna win? Gods word is final and finish! For example, if God said, having more than 3 kids is bad. And you try to have more than 3, trying to persuade God that you are right and he's wrong. Your an idiot! Btw: that was an example not really true.

I agree to the fullest, we cannot change God's Word to fit our unglodly, selfish, desires! It's not going to happen!

Hi, mate, I am a gay christian as well, my story is very similar to yours: hating yourself, getting depressed, feeling as though you couldn't come before God. (Thank you for your comment) <br />
<br />
The first thing you need to do is stop hating yourself, yes, it says in the Bible that it is wrong for a man to have sex with another man, but nowhere does it say that it is wrong to "be attracted to the same sex". Being attracted to someone isn't an act, its a feeling, no one can control feelings. Your feelings are the same as everyone elses, the only difference is that they are aimed at someone who is the same sex. Remember, it is not a sin to be tempted. God doesn't hate straight people who are attracted sexually to someone out of marriage, so why would He hate you. <br />
<br />
Don't hate yourself. You were born like this. You can't change it anymore than you can change your hair colour. You can cover it up, but never trully change it. <br />
<br />
Secondly, your parents. I told my parents, they didnt like it, but they don't treat me any different. I can't say the same for yours because everyone acts differently, but you need to remember that you will always be their son, nothing will change that. A parents love is something very very hard to break, nearly impossable. Your parents love you, but only you can know the best action to take towards them. <br />
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Thirdly, find someone who you can tell, someone who you can be honest with. Even if it is just a friend. Because telling someone will take the presure off, and you will be able to think more clearly. Just because you admit you are gay doesn't mean you are suddenly going to change, remember that, you are who you are, gay or straight. <br />
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And also, think of being gay like this: even though all sins are equal in God's eyes, being gay does the less damage to those around you. Lies ruin friendships, make people unable to trust you. Murder takes away lives, devestates families. Stealing causes sadness and stress. <br />
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Being gay does non of this, because you don't hurt people with it. Yes, it may cause a lot of hurt when people hear of it, but that hurt is not from you, its from the stigma that has been put on homosexuality. <br />
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God still loves you, He forgave Moses when he murdered that Egytion, He forgave Solomon when he took loads and loads of wives and built alters for false gods, and He forgave David when he had sex with a married woman and murdered her husband. You have done nothing as bad as this, you didnt chose to be gay, you were born gay. Why would God love these people, but not you? Talk to God about it, be completely truthful with Him, He will listen and help. <br />
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And you can always talk to people on EP, because many other people are going through the same thing. You are not alone. <br />
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Good luck, brother.

Be who you are. It is your life, not theirs. LIVE!!!

hating is a complete contradiction to Christianity.

not if you hate what &amp; who needs to be hated. lol .. the bible does say , Hate SIN. to HATE SATAN and his WAYS. :) I know what you mean though.. :) cheers !

then maybe the Bible is the contradiction---just trying to analyze.

God's Word supercede our little finite intellect and analyzations! This is a faith walk! The just shall live by faith, not intellect!

Of course God won't mind how you are. He made you that way. He made it possible for people to be homosexuals. If he didn't want homosexuals to exist, he wouldn't have made humans even capable of being attracted to the same sex. <br />
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As for your parents... well, they're another issue entirely. I don't know what you can do there. Maybe throw around some random topic about some gay person. Be like, "Ha, Ellen Degeneres is so funny. Did you guys know she's gay?" and gauge their reaction to see where they stand. You can do the same for your friends, but if they can't accept you for you and the way God made you, then they don't deserve you. Your parents will probably be the hardest people to tell.<br />
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Or you can live your life as other people want you to live it and you can be content with life, but never satisfied, never really happy because you'll always be unfulfilled and feel so distant and excluded from everyone else. Either way, the choice is yours.

When i hear of gay .this word suffocates me. i just do'nt understand how one can be attracted by the same sex. to me this is agreat lose of respect to the nature.I don,t agree with gays at all.its asexual disorder .so brother run away from this problem.

he just said he can't. his pain is sitting out there. can you feel it?

we lost our "respect of nature" when we started prostituting its benefits and destroying it, not when we started accepting gays