Never Ready.

A friend told me to come here, he told me to read about what other people experience, he told me that it helps to know you are not alone in many things. He also said that maybe my own experiences might be of help to others. I asked what to write about, because even though one of my favorite hobbies is to write, I honestly did not know what to start with. He quickly provided a list of things, and in my mind I was like : "You want me write about personal stuff? Dude, I only tell you about that stuff!".

The thruth of the matter is I protect my personal experiences like everyone else, maybe out of shame, maybe fear of embarassment. Things that I consider my secrets are in fact not only my own but situations others also experience. But we hold on to these things, maybe it is a way to make us feel special, unique, like we are part of a group where only we know what is going on.But that group can be a very lonely one.

So I gathered my jewels and decided to start with something. Perhaps a simple story of my life, something not exactly relatable but general. But then a realization hit me, I'm not ready.

I have many times said to others that when you write something, regardless of what it is you write ( Fantasy,Realism, History etc ) you will always leave a part of you within the lines. And that if someone is smart enough to read between them, they will surely find you there.

All that came with another realization. I will never be ready. Or at least I will never think myself ready to display the colors I hide. Because there is a reason to hide them and as long as that reason is there you will stop yourself. But I will not grow from this, hiding does not make anyone grow, it makes them smaller, invisible. And whats the fun in that?

So I will write. I will share. It may seem silly, it may not help. But I feel I will grow. And Im in a place in my life in which growth is inevitable, because I can't get any smaller. And I will grow, even though I'm not ready.
Orren79 Orren79
31-35, M
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

Wow! Well, first of all let me say that your friend is an awesome friend! ;)
Second of all, thanks for sharing that. I am sure all of us can relate, for we all put on full "costumes" we we are around others.
I am sure that you will find here a safe place to open up.
So, welcome!...and I'll be looking forward to more "stories" to come