A 'Straight' Lesbian? (I Really Dislike Labels)

My first story on EP...

I am a woman who recently fell in love with a very close male friend of mine that happens to crossdress. We have SO much in common and he's definitely my favorite person on the planet to spend time with. Since I have only ever been in traditional heterosexual relationships, I told myself that CDing just "wasn't my thing" and that I couldn't be attracted to a man in women's clothing. I completely dismissed the idea of a sexual relationship with him when I first met him.

I am a very open-minded person and studied sexuality and gender identity in college, but I still thought that I only could be with a "manly man" romantically. I told him that we could only be friends because I just didn't find the CD thing sexually appealing. Fortunately, we started spending a lot of time together and I found myself falling in love with him. (He says that he fell in love with me the first night we met.) :) It's only been about 2 weeks since our relationship turned romantic and I joined this site to try to open my mind up further and learn more about the psychological and emotional pieces that surround crossdressing in heterosexual men.

I am still not 100% "comfortable" with the idea of being with such a feminine man, but I REALLY want to learn to be. I have never felt a love like this before and I am hoping that this site will help me let go of all the social brainwashing that I've received all these years so I can give him all of the love that I can...

I think it's a good sign that I already find him sexy in satin... ;)
sweetone23 sweetone23
31-35, F
13 Responses Dec 5, 2012

Im in love with your story =)

Please add me

my kinda girl...please add me??

I'm a total sissified cross dresser and have been all my life. everyone that knows me knows I'm a sissy. So if you want to chat about anything let me know

I wish you both happiness! This link is to an article about 'male lesbians' (another label!) written by a GG, Mistress Lori. She is very positive about relationships with us gurls.http://trisneill.blogs.experienceproject.com/2789328.htmlhttp://trisneill.blogs.experienceproject.com/2789328.html

Dare I put a dampener on it ????

Could I raise a word of caution?

Just to bear in mind that any CD / TV / Sissy would tend to be enamoured / in love with / infatuated by a LADY who supported his dressing and female personality. Don't get me wrong - he may be deeply in love with you - I just want to raise the caution that he also has strong reasons to "like" you if You allow his female self to come out.

Dare I caution YOU to take a moment to think it through. OK it may be a genuine relationship and you may both celebrate your 80th wedding anniversary in the distant future after living a blissful life together - BUT ...

Consider what impact the relationship could have on your life. How will your family and friends react to being in a relationship with this guy? Will he be "out" or a secret CD. What happens if YOU have kids - will (s)he have to hide until they go off to college?

There are a lot of considerations to include.

AND - before my sisters kill me for raising negative thoughts - I really think that we have to raise these things with others before we enter a relationship. I agree that society should change and hopefully one day if I want to go to work in a skirt and top I can do so without being arrested or abused. Until then - we have to live in the society that exists now and that means putting up with a lot of discrimination, bad press and abuse. If you love her - you have to think about protecting her from this AND to be fair to her - make her are of the possible problems you may have to endure.

Having said that - I wish you both well and hope to be invited to that 80th wedding anniversary party (as a waitress).

Oh dear - interesting how things can be misunderstood

First - I only wanted to say - sounds good but think about it before you jump, there are difficulties.

You say you don't agree - don't agree they should stop and think about the difficulties before they go ahead ?

I am in the UK and here the police can and will arrest a man for wearing female clothes (allegedly in case it encourages bigots and yobs to attack the transvestite - so instead of arresting the violent yob who might attack somebody for what they are wearing - they arrest the man in a dress because it may cause a breach of the queens peace - ie there may be a fight. And yes transvestites do get arrested like this)

You say something along the lines of don't wait for society to change trans people have to get out there and make it change. I have been out as my female self, and been badly beaten, attacked, kicked, spat on, sworn at, sacked form a job etc for just being me. I think I have done my little bit and will do more if and when I can - but I still wait for hat day when we can wear what we want and society becomes tolerant

You raise the point about if people don't like you for what you are doing then they aren't really friends. I agree - the reason for my posting was and still is - the situation may throw up some issues and problems - stop and think about them and go into it with your eyes open knowing what might happen - and I stand by that

You say something that particularly annoys me "you said you behave to think about protecting her from "this." As if "this" was a disease". No I didn't - that is in your mind only. I was talking about the problems and issues they may encounter the rest is in your imagination - if you see it as a disease - I don't.

Hi sweetone
Your name seems to fit your persona
So glad to here you let love win out over socialially accepted ideas
Set down some perameters and stick to them remember your in this relationship too. Dont let it be all about CD. Have fun explore but do things that make you happy too
With trust and respect you can look forward to a long loving relationship
I speak from experience
My feminine side has made me a better man, husband, friend and lover to my wife of 25 years
Enjoy life
T.

CDs and transexuals are people too and I am glad you gave this person a chance at love keep up the good work ....Hugs.......Tammi

Some really lovely sentiments here. I guess the essence of many CDers is that there are many facets to them, like anyone else, so he will enjoy dressing some of the time, will enjoy sex as a woman, some of the time, will enjoy role-play, but will also enjoy so many other things too. For example taking you out to a nice restaurant and simply revelling having you on his arm, proud to be with such a lovely woman. His dressing is clearly an important part of who he is, like many of us, but it's not the 'whole'.
You are both so lucky to have found each other and I wish you all the very best for the future.

I truly appreciate your honesty. It's not easy for a woman brought up in traditional western society to open embrace a crossdressing male. After all, you spent your entire life being raised around traditional concepts of men being men, and women being women.

Relax and enjoy it! Afterall, it's only clothing. Your boyfriend should absolutely put you on a pedestal and worship you! And I think you'll find that if you can look past the social stigma of the clothing, you'll find the sex to be the best you'll ever experience!

Fabulous sweetie
You love the essence of who he/she is. The rest is just "gift wrap"
Hugs
Sammi

Hi Sammi
Love the " gift wrap" comment never thought of it quite like that before. Now im probably not gonna stop thinking about it lol
Enjoy life
T.

You are one of the most wonderful human beings in the world. I really hope you find it in yourself to become aroused by and attracted to this man, but in any event, your open mind is a wonderful thing, and you should always cherish it. You're a divine person, and I can only hope your boyfriend appreciates you. :) I wish you well. :)

-gary

Thank you!!! And I AMMMM aroused by AND attracted to this man... We have the best sex I've ever had in my life!!! He's amazing and I love him. It's the clothing that I need to get more accustomed to; this is MY issue, not his... and I get that... which is why I'm trying to get over that piece and fully embrace his feminity and wardrobe.

It just takes time, and you can set parameters of how much and when he is dressed so that you always feel comfortable. I'm a cross dresser and married to a wonderful woman, and even though I would like to spend more time dressed up I understand she still needs to have her man around at times. For me sometimes it is as much fun to be at a restaurant and have her tease me about what i might wear when we get home - so in essence I felt like I was dressed the whole time even though I wasn't. After 21 years of being married we still have great sex, because I get all excited wearing a dress and petticoat during our foreplay bottle of wine, bonding and kissing. Many times I do take my dress and petticoats off so she feels me naked, other times like on vacations she will lift and fluff my dress while we are making love. It took a few years for her to get use to that. Early on she closed her eyes, fantasized and just feels me going in and out. I realize it is different for everyone, but sometimes I don't even need to be dressed -- like if she tells me when we are done playing she is going to dress me up like a girl and cuddle on the couch, that is equally rewarding of an experience -- and she still has her man making love to her. Just try different approaches so that you both not only feel comfortable, but sexually aroused. Have fun!