Im A Girl In Love With My Girl Bestfriend

Hi, I need some opinions because I'm so in love with my bestfriend that's a girl. I never thought about liking a girl this much. My bestfriend and I met two years ago at this activity. First I didnt like her at first but now I feel I can't be myself if I am not with her. Is this strange? My first bf lasted for 5 years, and second one lasted 1 year approximately. I know me and her are not in a relationship, but somehow all the things we do daily feel like we are in a relationship. From the first moment, she contacted and wanted to be my friend. When we first met I felt a little something between us, but I didn't want to admit it. Probably she felt the same too. There was chemistry for sure but we didnt say anything since we only just met for the first time. As I we to know each other more, the feelings grow stronger for her. I even remember every little thing she does for me when we're together. To me, I feel it's not normal thinking coming from me because I am a girl. We see each other almost everyday, and if we don't see each other we either call or chat online at night. When we are apart she said to me she feels like she has to see me, and I feel the same. She said the first time we met, she felt there was this attration she got from me. And so she recently told me. Everytime I go to her house, she would cook for me and we hang out the whole day. We always stay in her room and stay on her bed and talk just about anything and never be bored. She says when she's hanging out with me she's very comfortable and she can be herself. She said I made her a happier person. Oh yea, she's never dated or ever had a boyfriend before. She always tell me if I was a guy she would date me. She said it's sad that I'm not. I feel like we do things just like how bf and gf would do for each other. We're asians. I know asians girls are very close to their friends, but still I do feel there is something between us. She let me cut her nails sometimes, and I would glady do it for her. She cooks for me whenever I'm over at her house. When she talks to me she has this twinkle in her eyes, and I can feel that she's very happy to see me all the time. I mean our chemistry is so amazing!There was this one time when we were in bookstore and I picked up a dvd and I showed her and she held it too and somehow I felt her finger is slowly touching mine and suddenly I felt a little electric. That moment I felt she felt it too and she even moved her finger closer to mine and kind of holding on to it for little longer. Little things like this tell me we have a lot of feelings for each other. Her back hurts all the time, so she always let me hit or do a light massage her back. When I do it for her, I feel like she's really enjoy it and she even said it feels good to her. She would sometimes make me lay on my stomache so she can give me a massage, and the way she hit my back I feel she's trying to move closer to my butt. For me, these things that I've been experiencing are very different from what I do with my other friends (girls). I'm just a little confused about her too. She's very detailed when it comes to caring for someone she loves. She does little things for me that sometimes make me think that she's in love with me. Sometimes I catch her looking at me like this soft romantic look. When I turned to her, she sometimes would look away. Just past christmas, she gave me a necklace that when you open up the pendant you can put pictures in it. Honest truth, I was very happy. I feel my happiness means everything to her. And I feel the same. I even keep everything she gives me. When we chat I even save our conversation, crazy isn't it? When I'm not with her, I would start thinking how's she doing or where she's at, or gosh I want to see her badly cause I miss her when we're not together. She said to me the same. Right now, I don't know what is our problem, but I would really like to know. Base on my instinct, I feel that I am in love with her because I've never felt that way when I dated my two ex bfs. Many times I want to tell her how I feel about her but just can't do it. I feel that she does like me but doesn't want to tell me first because what if I am not one. One thing about her is she doesn't like and scared of rejections. I keep thinking in my head that maybe she is just being friendly to me, but then again, she go extra distance for me and there is something about her that tells me she does love me. She tells me that she used to have two crushes in high school and after that she never liked anyone else. She does think some guys are good looking but can't imagine herself kissing those guys. She also has guys friends that kind of like her but I asked her if she likes any of them and she said to her they're only brothers. Sometimes whenever I mentioned my ex bf she kinda not happy and would stay silent for a little and later talk about something else. At times I feel she is one but doesnt know that she is one yet cause she's never dated. One time I kinda gave her a little hint about me not being straight, and she said to me that I can tell her anything even if I am one she won't judge me, and she also said if she's one she would tell me too. But I think she would rather me telling her first. Just three days ago, me and her started talking about the lesbians and gays, and we agree that nothing is wrong with it, and later she searched for the L word online, and we started watching it and later she asked me about how people have sex, and I told her what I know. Even though I've never slept with a guy but I did study all those in my classes. I was closed to having sex with my ex but not there yet. Anyway, we talked about it, and later she searched for this manga that has images of how people have sex so she can learn. Nothing wrong with her learning more about it. I feel like she knows about it but then she might not know the details. I know we both felt little weird looking at those images while being together on her bed late at night. We always stay on her bed adn sometimes we fall asleep next to each other, and I would go home late like 12 midnight. Or sometimes we stay in bed but can't sleep and pretending we are sleeping. When I lay next to her i feel so comfortable as if there's nothing that can seperate us apart. We stay quiet for some times and later sleep, and sometimes she would say it's so comfortable while we're in bed together. Now that I'm telling this I feel I am so in love with her. I feel she loves me too but what if what I'm thinking is not true. I just want to tell her so badly but not sure. Please help! thanks

c7ances c7ances
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 18, 2010

If I was you I would ask her to sleep the night then when she comes over search about kisses and stuff like that. Ask her who she wants her first kiss to be an then make the move.

I am surprised no one responded. kinda almost 4 years late but if you two are still this close and all, go for it. I would put my bet on and say she is or may be asking the same things you are to herself. If you care about her this much, fight for her :) Best of luck ;)