I Never Expected This Kind Of .. Love?

Well I am 21 years old, went to an all girls high school all my life, many of my friends are lesbian or bisexual and I have asked myself if i can be in that position but I never liked a women... before 2 weeks ago, I've been with so many guys that i lost the count and not just sexually but in love too and I have never kissed a girl... I have always said that girls are too dramatic or problematic to have a relationship with and I honestly never felt attracted to one, until this happen.
I have known her for 2 years now but we just recently started to hang out a lot with all my friends, I dont know how the hell happen it but one day i found myself thinking how beautiful and warm she is and how good I feel next to her, the feeling came from nowhere I swear, and at the beginning I thought it was just admiration but I started to get too nervous around her and fantasizing about kissing her. This is so weird for me.
We play that little game that "we are girlfriends" she call me "love" and we always say to each other things like "dream with me" or "dont cheat on me" or that type of phrases like we were together but in a playful way.
well that's enough complicated for me, but it gets worse, she is 13 years older than me and Married...
I asked her one day if she had kissed a girl before and she told me "yes, when I was younger and those days are over", so i guess she told me that it wont happen again but she still play that game (that is driving me crazyyy) ..
I am really confused of what to do ? and who I am?, I DONT like ANY other girl but her, I have tested myself! with my other closer friends and nothing, is just her!! I want to forget about the whole thing because it seems impossible that I get to kiss her, I am even considering the possibility to not hang out with that group anymore... but I just cant wait to be next to her again.
If you have some advice please let me know.. i am really confused! :(
lovingbeach lovingbeach
8 Responses Jul 27, 2010

oh wow 13 years um personality did it all i know cause i am attracted to one guy he has a great personality and he is 2 years younger than me and he is in Italy :( i would love to tell him and kiss him alot

I think it depends on her personality and how close u are! If u think that she will understands, whether she wants the same thing or not “and I think she will understand ... Because she is mature enough" so you have to tell her! Even if u didn’t get that kiss u'll be kinda relieved and able to block it from your mind, at least you've tried and u'll stop wondering.<br />
But if there is a slight chance that this idea will Jeopardize your friendship with her, so don’t even think about it ur lucky to have such a meaningful friendship and you have to keep it safe.<br />
ur the one who can decide what solution is better, specially that you've known her for 2 years so you can tell how she think and how she'll react!<br />
GooD luCK

Maybe you should tell her something like "if I had been a boy, I would fall in love with you" and see her reaction. <br />
How are things going lately?

You are lacking a boy in your life to satisfy your desires. A woman can never make you feel the same way. Men are leaders and they protect you and have more for you physically and in other ways. God made man in his image and they are his glory and woman is the glory of man. You can never be happy in a relationship like that.<br />
<br />
I met two girls one time that considered themselves lesbian and were planning on marriage. They told me how happy they were together and how they loved to look at each other and see them smile. They came to Tucson to visit me and they were nothing like that at all. They hardly said a word and never smiled or laughed. Even if I smiled at them they would look away or if I asked them a question they would give one word answer.<br />
<br />
You need a guy and not a girl. Because she has nothing for you.

jumpnsmash i think she not entirely happy neither sad, i know their sex life is dead.. <br />
yeah is very strange but im almost sure she is into me.. and even thought i dont want to be confused, i dont want her to stop liking me... <br />
and again i feel this just with her.. maybe it wont happen anything between us but i will be more than happy to have her just as my friend knowing that we like each other.. <br />
it kind of spice my life.. and i bet it does to her boring married life too, that's why she keep doing the little game...<br />
Thanks for your comments guys! i appreciate the help to try to figure this out

Tell her how you feel, and that she should stop, because she is a) married and b) too old for you. It'll work out in the end hun.

u can try to tell her , but you r young and she is married - you asked her and she done it before <br />
but maybe is the best to let it go - but just coz she is married. is she happy in that marriage?<br />
strange situation , ivgot admit .

hun...<br />
i think you should tell her how you feel...if i went through that phase at one point but turns out for me guys are better then girls...dont get me wrong or anything ive had my days where i kissed a girl but it just wasnt for me..

yes really that confuse all i can say leave this way i think it's not naturale , i know u enjoy with her but that not mean that u are in raight way , think well :)