I Never Expected This Kind Of .. Love?Well I am 21 years old, went to an all girls high school all my life, many of my friends are lesbian or bisexual and I have asked myself if i can be in that position but I never liked a women... before 2 weeks ago, I've been with so many guys that i lost the count and not just sexually but in love too and I have never kissed a girl... I have always said that girls are too dramatic or problematic to have a relationship with and I honestly never felt attracted to one, until this happen.
I have known her for 2 years now but we just recently started to hang out a lot with all my friends, I dont know how the hell happen it but one day i found myself thinking how beautiful and warm she is and how good I feel next to her, the feeling came from nowhere I swear, and at the beginning I thought it was just admiration but I started to get too nervous around her and fantasizing about kissing her. This is so weird for me.
We play that little game that "we are girlfriends" she call me "love" and we always say to each other things like "dream with me" or "dont cheat on me" or that type of phrases like we were together but in a playful way.
well that's enough complicated for me, but it gets worse, she is 13 years older than me and Married...
I asked her one day if she had kissed a girl before and she told me "yes, when I was younger and those days are over", so i guess she told me that it wont happen again but she still play that game (that is driving me crazyyy) ..
I am really confused of what to do ? and who I am?, I DONT like ANY other girl but her, I have tested myself! with my other closer friends and nothing, is just her!! I want to forget about the whole thing because it seems impossible that I get to kiss her, I am even considering the possibility to not hang out with that group anymore... but I just cant wait to be next to her again.
If you have some advice please let me know.. i am really confused! :(
lovingbeach 18-21 8 Responses 2 Jul 27, 2010