I'm Straight But With One Exception

When I started secondary school, there was a girl in my tutor who was always acting differently around me then she was with everyone else.  To begin with, I didn't really like her that much, she was naughty, I was good. She was loud, I was quiet. Her friends were as loud as rude as her, Mine were quiet and litterly hated her.
But then one of my friends got quite close to her and would always talk to her in our french class. My friend then made me talk to her, as she thought I was being rude. Me and the girl then started talking on the internet and over the holidays, she told me she loved me. At first, I was scared but then she let it go. After a couple of weeks, she said it again, and I said I loved her too.
At the beginning of year 8, two of my best friends moved abroad. And me and the girl got closer. In time, we was crazy in love. We got accused of being lesbians, and it really annoyed me. But then she asked me out and I said yes. We didn't let anyone know, but then the girl told her "best friend".
I was really jealous and maybe a little bit obsessed that the girl would go off with her best friend. I know she loved her, it was obvious.
Sure, we had our arguments, but we was so in love, they never lasted long.
One day, though, we had an argument. She ended everything, and we didn't talk for about a month. I started self harming and then one of my friends took me to the teacher. They called my mum in, and in the end, I wasn't allowed to talk to her.
I'm still not allowed to talk to her, but we do in secret.
The only hope I have left, is that we can be together in the future, that we'll move in somewhere together and live happily together.
Other than this girl, I've been out with boys only. To be honest, even thinking of loving another girl disgusts me.
I'm totally straight, but with this one, amazing exception.
So if you are too, it's totally normal.
lelelouise lelelouise
9 Responses Aug 19, 2010

It's amazing to see how many experiences like this are out there. Mine is no exception, I've always like men, have only been with men, in fact I've never kissed girl. However, I know I don't feel disgust with the idea of being physicall with another woman, is simply that I never had feel so atracted to one in order to think about doing something about it. But now, my big problem is that I fell for my flatmate

This situation is always a tough one to be in... I think I need some advice myself 😪

Thank god, me as well. Except this girl is my friend, but she's not really all that nice to me, she's a little psycopathic and apparently asexual, but I can't stop. Whenever we just have a minute conversation my mood rockets, and if she ignores me all day I'm black as soot. I've never felt like this about anyone or dated anyone, but I've had crushed on guys and find male celebrities attractive and the thought of being with any other girl is wrong to me. I also have philophobia and suspected depression (from friends and a depressed mother), so it just sucks. Thanks for giving me the chance to share this, thanks for reading, and thank you so much for not making me feel wrong.

I'm in the same situation- I am straight, but there's a girl who is a couple of years above me and I stayed at her's last night. She's openly lesbian and has a crush on me. We kissed 3 times and we always hug and hold hands. We don't go out since neither of us are the sort of people who do relationships.
But yeah, I'm straight. Not attracted to girls, but she's an exception.

This is jus like my situation.She's loud I'm shy and I've never liked girls before.At first when she started trying to talk 2 me I was wiered out and just kept telling her I'm straight.Then somehow we started txting and I just started liking her.She wants us to start dating but I'm so scared.I don't like any other girls and I'm not attracted to any girls.Its sooooo confusing.

Oh my gosh this is the same as my situation. Before I started liking this girl and she made me question my sexuality. I never ever liked a girl before, the thought of that disgusts me, but this girl that I like is this one exception. I've known this girl for about a year now. I never really talked to her and I never was really close to her. She's a very beautiful girl, too, she's also kind and smart. Just the thought of her makes me smile. The thing is I don't know if she's bi or lesbian. My mind wants to think it's just a phase, but my heart is longing for her. Anyways, it's complicated. But it's nice to know that other people go through this. Maybe i'll try to build the courage to ask her out and make sure I'm not missing out on anything.

Same here:( I'm quiet and she's loud but she got da idea in her head that I like her o_0 this was after she told me she wasz bi and we used talk now and then but now I can't stop thinking about her and studies show if u have a crush for more than 2 months it means you're in love-_- this has been going on for almost 6 months!!! I'm not wut u call a pretty 14 yr old but she's gone out wit not so pretty girls before even Thoe she's pretty but I'm like 92% straight and 8% bi. The confusion is depressing me and all my friends noe me as emotionless but they are noticing the changes, especially my best friend even Thoe she ask if I have a borlyfriend but she doesn't noe itsz a girl3

Same. I never knew i was in love with my best friend until she stopped talking to me. I messed everything up, and I couldn't understand why I was so destroyed. After A LOT of discussing it with my other friends, I realized I was in love with her. And the thought of being sexual with a girl grosses me out. I'm all for gay rights, so it's not like that, it's just that's not my style. My body likes men. My heart loves men too, but this was definitely an exception.

"To be honest, even thinking of loving another girl disgusts me.<br />
I'm totally straight, but with this one, amazing exception." Took the words right out of my mouth(: I wish you luck for the future