Love Her So Much It Hurts...and No1 Can HelpI never knew i swinged both ways until a druken encounter with my mate...she was in my uni class and we shared the same university halls...it was a plesant experience, as u all will know ;-) (that was my first experience)
Anyways on a more serious note...i am truly madly and deeply in love with my girlfriend for over just 2years,that I met firstly at work..we really clicked and formed a very good frienship. whilst we were just friends back then she was going out with a married man who has kids (her cousin) and I was with going out with my boyfriend.. and i was in love with him that we decided to get married and we had a registered marriage (as i am indian this is not really seen as a marriage without any indian formalities, so we wernt living together and we were awaiting the indian ceremony). Then one day me and my mate went to a party and the unexpected happened...got drunk and made out...this was her first experience and for me my second. After 3 years I had contact with a female and it felt so good! Things felt so awkward the next day and we both decided to put it behind us..part of me felt good and part felt bad coz i was legally married but nonetheless started 2 realise that i had feelings for my mate. Flirting started and we even went on holiday 2gether...it was awesome ..so i was having an affair and she was having an affair but i couldnt stop myself but knew it had to stop for the sake of legal status. the more i hung around with her i was happy and the less happy i was feeling around him. Did not know what to do and the wedding was approaching..so much expectations especially when ur asian! I did try to stop this affair but we both realised we were in love with each other and out of love with our partners...anyways i managed to break free from the guy i was legally married to after delaying the marriage once and knew it was for the best as i would messed his life up...and i personally would not have been happy..plus there were loads of family issues...bottom line is she is in contact with her X and I am not...i trust her completly but I dont trust him as he still has feelings for her...and although she dont see him in this way i still get insecure at times but i have learnt to except this over the 2 years that i have been with my gf...
the thing is we really love each other but we are a secret....we work 2gether but have 2 remain professional....try and escape for a night 2gether when we can...but as we are asian its not expected of us...it would rip the family apart as families r not broadminded....we cant run away as we would lose our families and they have done a lot for us...and now again we get marriage proposals from family members that we keep rejecting...so what do we do to be together..people r beginning to talk and saying u should settle down know and find a man but little do they know what I am going through or what my situation is...all my friends are happily married......what future is there for us? My gf always says live for the moment but i struggle with that concept because seriously how long can this go for? I dont want to break up but i contemplating it but the thought of that is unbearable and all i see is destruction and depression and I dont want to hurt her? Im glad i have poured it out on here and have shared my experience...only god knows now..thankyou for reading..if any1 can relate please do x
dip69 26-30 4 Responses 0 Sep 2, 2010