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I Am Deeply In Love With Her..but It Seems Impossible..

hello,

it's a very good site to tell your experiences.  and i wanna share mine coz i really need serious help..

i am a 28 yr old girl..i love a girl in my office..in same dept.  i joined this office before 16 months.. from the very beginning we two somehow got friendly very much.. she has a stable boyfriend... for 4 yrs..from during her college time..she is now 24..  when first the friendship began with me.. there was no love like sense remaining.. it was completely a very good friendship.. and i knew about her boyfriend..we 3 used to go to movies  together.. and other places sometimes.. days passed..our friendship also kept growing.. ... i had no problem at all..

but,, 0n march this year.. i went to her house for her brother's wedding.. i was at her place for 3 days.. at that time somehow i felt that I LOVE HER..   actually i loved her from before..but didn't notice it...   but from that time..i seriously noticed my love for her.. and plz note..there was nothing PHYSICAL ..AT ALL.. BUT DEEP LOVE

in these 7-8 months.. as because we are very good friends...she sometimes told me that she loves me..  like.. 'i love u'   ' i  can't make u understand how much i love you' etc etc.. but  i didn't take seriously..because i knew she has a BF and she loves him very much... i also told her in a friendly way that i love her.. when i was unable to keep my emotion suppressed......

but with time  i am soo much in love with her..that.. it has become intolerable for me ..the pain of not getting har in my life...and the jealousy.. it's killing me..

i don't know it's homosexuality or not.. coz i never felt physical attraction to her.. just sometimes a friendly kiss... i got  from her..


see,,  i feel she loves me .but not as her abslolute importance.. not as a life partner...

but i love her like anything..i want to be withehr all my life.. although in a country like india it will create many serious prooblems in my life..

so, what to do? i am in a serious  depression and mental turmoil for 5-6 months.. and only thinking  i should tell her or not...coz if i tell... it can ruin everything.....but i feel a greater pressure from inside to tell somehow..otharwise it's getting very difficult to live ....


what to do? shall i tell her directly ? or seeek help of a psychiatrist?


plz help...

lollymolly lollymolly 26-30, F 22 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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Hey, its been 3 years now i suppose.. How are you? Any progress in the relationship of yours? Did she get married? I am experiencing the exact same things you been through. The only thing is that I know her 4 years now. And between us is not just I love you. We shared some really intimate touches and conversations but never over the borderline of two extremely open individuals who are really really good friends. She has a boyfriend. Never met before. She seems to love him. I just don't know. I love her. Been through that emotional void you described and practically thought that I got over it. I overcomed the silly feelings of mine and that I will not see her again after high school. But now? I meet her at least once a week and everyday during her holidays and mine. I want to see her every ******* day. Not to say that I am asking you to confess or whatsoever. I just know that things aint that easy. In exchange for the current friendship and time you spend together, you had to gamble all those away? Is it worth it for the word yes? THink about it. FOr me, I just dont have the guts. So tell me your happy ending and make me see hope.

as i read all your messages i may say your a good actress because you can pretend your true feelings and i admire you for that... well as you said in India a homosexual relationship is not acceptable... and nobody really knows your true feeling thats very hard you can even share it with your parents or even your bestfriend...i suggest first you have to make two choices 1. tell her and be ready for the result good or bad 2. or you just go to the flow... even you can't have her at least you can be her friend, you can be together when your together make the most out of it... its
up to you to make your choices...goodluck..

I would suggest you that u just tell abt ur feelings.........u will feel gud and dont bother abt wat ahe will think just tell her and tell her that how depress u r........and leave all the things on her........

i will tell her :) thanks

honey..good old doctor freud said once that all people are at LEAST bisexual...<br />
give it try...the worst thing that can happen is to tell you no...<br />
one can be sorry for the things he/she didnt do , or didnt try to do..<br />
never the opposite...<br />
go girl...

thanks..u gv me strength,,i will give it a try

nobody can understand u better than me.....I have same feelings....I live same things...I am also in love with girl...but I am girl....it is very terrible..dangerous....impossible....I am getting crazy when I think that it is FORBIDDEN...I need understanding friend....I can't tell it to anybody...and it is very hard...just I wanna die....(((I hate to myself....((( maybe we can help to each other....

thanks a lot.. i am already doing what u said.. lets see wt in future.. i love her the most,.. need her in my life..for my life...

:) God bless you too I really wish and hope all happiness for you And I hope this Love in your heart would bring joy and happiness for you.....and thanks to you ;) :)

I am doing exactly the thing you told.. you know.. and it comes naturally from within..coz I love her very much... so, I try my best to be with her in all the good and bad times.. coz merely her company gives me the joy and happyness I never found with anyone before.. let's see what in ate.. and..many many thanks to you for reading and thinking about me.. thanks a lot dear... GOd bless you.. and make your wish come true.. :)

You know, I believe in God so much and It's true God will help you and He was the one who gave you the Love to her, But you can't just sit there and doing nothing and just praying to him.<br />
You should go there and do somthing that God can Take you to the right way and give you the best you want.<br />
I don't say go talk to her Coz I know It's hard for you BUT you can make her to see you, make her to see that you are always beside her no matter what In good and bad times and always will be....<br />
Make her to see your Love your feelings, make her to see that you care about her.<br />
Do somthing that no one ever done that for her before, even her boyfriends....

so many thanks nnwolf and sniperkittie774 ..yes I think we two are in that much closeness that I can tell her wts my feeling somehow.... but I'm really worried about the aftereffect.. the main thing is it seems to me that she loves me.. but..... she is not into me.. u understand??? And I didn't tell another thing...... it's a period now..when she is having some problem with her boyfriend.. although may be they will patch up soon.. see, I dont want to be in any competition or anything.. I just pray to God... U HV GIVEN ME THIS LOVE FOR HER... I DIDNT CHOSE IT MYSELF.. I JUST FALLEN FOR HER.. I DONNO WHY..ITS YOUR PLAN.. SO.. PLZ TAKE CARE OF IT AND PLZ IF POSSIBLE.. MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH ME..FOREVER.. if she is meant for me... she will be mine ..someday.. there are soo many same sex happy couples in this world.. so, can't we be together? although if also she comes to me.. we have to face a great deal of problems..but if she is with me.. I can deal with anything.. love her soooo much..can't explain..<br />
<br />
but, she is not in love with me.. and if i tell at this time..may be she can tk it wrongly..<br />
<br />
so I need a proper time... my situation is very difficult.. u know.. just everyday living has become a problem..pain and pain

I've tried to write the girl I love...I wrote her a 3 page letter that I know she read because her friend told me...but it just adds the extra "did she like it?" what does she think?" "Should I talk to her about it?" "Does she ever think about it when she sees me?" SO it doesn't really help if the other person is not willing to give in to you. It stinks having a love for someone that may or may not like you back. It's a waiting game for me right now...so if you want to talk I am in the same position....

You know, I have a social problem like you too I can understand what you've been through.... And In your story I get somthing that you and your girl are close together and I think you can tell her what you're feeling about her, tell and see her reaction maybe she is in love with you too but she can't tell you like you.... And you will never know if you don't try..... And know that Life is short try to live happy with someone you Love. You are the creater of your own life not anyone else, so you can creat your life with Happiness. And I'm sure you know the best to do, listen to your heart, God will help you ;)

thanks nnwolf for your comment. See I myself thought of doing the same many times, but you know its not easy.I am afraid that she may be misunderstand my feelings totally. In India, same sex love feelings are a taboo subject. Our society does not see it as a normal behavior. And she is also seasoned in this society. i although don't clearly know her view on same sex love. But if also she has no problem with that, it does not mean that she will fall iin love with me. You understand my point?<br />
<br />
It seems that she loves me as a friend, I can better describe it as very good friendship. She has told me many times in 1 yr that she loves me. After that I also said her that I love her. Actually I never took the first step in telling or behaving like I love her.. because it was always in my mind that she has a stable relationship with a guy,.. and she might never feel the same for me as I feel for her.<br />
<br />
But you know. now its getting intolerable.. I have tolerated for 1 long yr.. it seems it's not only a year..its a lifetime wating.. I felt pain for each and every moment for one yr..<br />
<br />
We went out for movie, or shopping, or just for coffee a lots of times this 1 yr, and we both enjoyed each others company very much. She sometimes made me feel that she needs me. But at the same time , she is in stable relation with her boyfriend, although they don’t hang out together that much. <br />
<br />
I don’t understand ..everything has become so complicated, I don’t wanna be at her sight always… It pains me more.. I am continuously under depression for many months now.. <br />
<br />
I don’t know what to do..

I think If you can't tell her directly you can write it down and write all your feelings about her.... And you will never know if you don't try..... I hope she will love you back;) good luck

i think there is no hope left now<br />
<br />
i understood fully that she is all into her boyfriends.. and will never be in love with me<br />
<br />
The worst thing is to be at the same office..everyday I see her.. and forget all the previous day self-promises of not to interact or think of her every moment.. <br />
I am in a very bad situation <br />
someone help me ...what should I do???

it's very difficult to tell dear.. many times i got prepared to tell.. but whenever i am with her..i cant talk of it directly.. but i know i hv to.. but i also know ther ewill be misery after telling ...

Tell her....Let it out before it kills you!!!!

hey all... i cant tolerate this situation anymore,. i am behaving strangely with others..i get angry of nothing.. actually i understand why... it seems she doesn't undestand my situation..because i never allowed her to understand i am suffering this much pain and can't see her with any other guy....i feel this is the time to tell her clearly what i feel of her.. but,, i know after that..... everything will be changed...may be i can fall in more misery... because i love her the most in this world... today she went to see her boyfriend..he is ill... so, she will come ofc at afternoon...she told me that in the morning...see.. any this kind of news has become deadly to me.. i can't tolerate at all...it seems she has asked him when he will marry her... ohh...

Are you from India? <br />
<br />
Oh well I think there is nothing wrong loving someone of the same sex. It is very important that you share your true feelings because this is not going to help at all. You are depressed and that is not healthy. Also I believe you need to ask her what her true feelings are. Ask her if she loves you as a friend or as something else. Be strong and ask, you wont lose anything if you ask. <br />
<br />
Hope this help!

see.. she loves her boyfriend soo much..and her bf also loves her a lot..and this thing just breaks m edown..i feel there is no chance for me of getting her in my life... she had another bf before the current one. and both of these two boys are from college..same course.. .. the first boy was a senior of her . he broke up with her several years ago..now few days back.. the first boy went to the girls house suddenly..and not finding her there.. he told her father everything about their relationship. .and also the current relationship of her. he also told there is pressure on him of getting married.. and so he came to ask if there is any chance.. coz he repents his deed.. <br />
<br />
2 days ago..when me and her were roaming around.. she told me all of these.. and my heart got completely broken/.. now he is telling she is confused to choose.. coz she has feelings for both of them... <br />
<br />
i think may be she will choose the second boy.. as he loves her soo much..<br />
<br />
<br />
so.. there is no position for me in her life.. although she shows much love for me.. always goes out with me.. plans trips with me...goes to movie with me..etc.. <br />
now i feel may be in these 16 long months..she thinks of me as only a very GOOD FRIEND.. but i am not the most important..and most lovable person in her life..and she does not think of me as her whole life partnar..thats the defference... <br />
<br />
so..i dont know wts to do??? every moment i am feeling immense pain...<br />
I LOVE HER THE MOST IN MY LIFE<br />
see the physical or sexual part is not important..i dont love her for that.. i LOVE HER AS A PERSON.. AS MY BELOVED DARLING.. <br />
<br />
PLZ FRIENDS SAY SOMETHING TO HELP ME<br />
<br />
thanks a lot...

thanks dear.. but i feel shattered always...sometimes i think i must tell ..otherwise i will die..but whenever i decide to tell... something just stops me..see i can't live in this state anymore.. every moment is an agony for me..

hi friends..i seriously need your comments..