I Wonder If She's Still Wearing My Ring....

I'm currently in love with a girl named Shiela but I'm used to calI her Xi. I met her on a lesbian chat room and the way she expressed her ideas attracted me. So I made things to catch her attention and I succeeded on that. I asked for her mobile number and exchange sweet messages with her. She was a very busy person but she managed to make time to text me. I felt happy talking with her. We're both discreet. Both of our families (excluding my siblings) and relatives don't know about our real gender, we're discreet lesbians.

Until I asked her to be my girlfriend, at first she refused. She said it would be better if she would give her YES in person. She wanted to meet me in person first but due to my excitement I insisted that I wanted her to be my girl on that day and finally she said YES. It was January 5, 2012.

It was January 26, 2012 when I first saw her in person. She came very late on our first date. I was expecting her to come at 5pm but she arrived around 10pm. I was waiting in a convenience store while playing my sudoku. She kept on sending messages, updating me that she's getting nearer to our meeting place. And that made my heart beat so fast. I was excited and at the same time afraid that she might not find me attractive. And the moment had come, she tapped me on my shoulder. And when I turned around a long hair girl in a neck tie was standing before me. I knew she was shy, she couldn't look straight to my eyes. We spent more minutes in that store, bought some toiletries because she left hers in a taxi. And then we left the store, I held her hand while waiting for a cab, it was soft.

On our way to a resort, I was trying to make her feel comfortable, I was teasing her, making fun out her uniform (the one she's wearing that night) and talked about the things that we both knew.
When we arrived, the pools were already closed and we were the only guests that night. She paid for a room for two persons. And when we got up there, she looked for a hot water because she wanted to drink coffee. So I accompanied her downstairs and unfortunately the cafeteria was closed since we were the only guests. We went outside the resort and bought a hot coffee. And when we got back to our room she opened her laptop and started working. Geeze then I thought "it's our first date and now you would work in front of me..hello???". Then I took a shower, put on my shorts and shirt. After that I lied on our bed and watched tv. She was still working and after she finished her job she went off to shower and lied next to me.. and then our first kiss happened. :)

March 5, 2012 was our second monthsary. I was not that happy, I was kinda mad at her on that day. We had a dinner in a restaurant. The foods were great. And after we ate, we went to the rest room then I gave her our couple ring. ( I didn't give it while we were still in the dining place because I was shy and kind of afraid that people would notice our affair.)

We had been seeing each other as the months went by. Everything was perfect but not after May 6, 2012. On a party, I met a friend and surprisingly a friend with Shiela. She told me that Shiela was having a relationship with someone. The girl even showed me some messages that convinced me to believe to what she said. I got shocked, got angry. I wasn't able to control my emotion even my anger. I sent her messages that really hurt Shiela. She replied and explained everything that at first, I wouldn't believe. After that incident, I felt the changes, the way she talked to me, she interacted with me, it was not sweet just like before.

Until we broke up on August 6, 2012. The reason of the mild argument was because she forgot our 7th monthsary (August 5). It was Monday morning, I reminded her of our forgotten special day by texting. She replied and the tone of her messages was more like sarcastic and lately apologetic. She told me that after that day (May 6) everything had changed. She told me that she doesn't want to put my happiness at stake. I jut let her say everything that she wanted to say. Then she broke up with me. I didn't stop her, I gave her freedom.

On the same day, I didn't send her messages after she broke up with me but she still kept on sending me messages. She let me felt that she still cared. From sarcastic messages, it turned out to sweet ones. And then we got okay again but remained "single".

And now, she still sending me messages not exceeding 10 messages in a day; the level of sweetness of the messages is not like before and it makes me very sad everyday. She told me that she gets so busy since she transferred to a bigger company and I'm trying so hard to understand her.

As much as I'd like to I can't see her now because she has a contagious sickness. I have to wait for five months to see her again( that's too long :( and I'm missing her so much right now).

I'm just wishing to be with her again...I wish that she's still wearing my ring :(

*for those interested you may read the sequel of this story: She's the Reason Why I Always Get Sad*

riffraffmonster riffraffmonster
22-25, F
1 Response Oct 5, 2012

i really need help...umm there's this girl i really really like, I met her last year and we became close friends..the way she stares at me made my heart race...but dh'e straight and she has a boyfriend who cheated on her 2 times but she still forgave himm.....i wanted her to stop being a MARTYR for that GUY...i'm here.loving her so much that i could die but i dont want her to look on me differently because of my feelings toward her thats she never knew how i felt..........help me.

The thing there is she's straight. But if you think you cannot hide your feelings for her anymore just get your self ready for the possible changes, worse your friendship might get lost.