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How Can I Love You If I Can't Even Figure Myself

I never dated a girl before, I never thought that its possible for me to love a girl until I met you. But here I am a 18 year old girl sharing my feelings to the whole how I really feel about you. Its hard for me to say anything right now becoz i cant figure myself out. Im not sure if I love this guy or you... I love you so much that I would even die for you. If you needed a shoulder to cry on I will always be here to listen and talk to you. I think you know that but still I will keep reminding you becoz I think you dont get it. My love for you is so strong that I would make sure that you will be okay every single day of your life. When you tell me that you have considered me as one of your very good friends that made me so happy and sad at the same time, happy becoz you trust and love me that one and sad becoz I feel like im cheating on you. Cheating on you becoz im not telling how I really feel about you. The only reason im not telling you is becoz im afraid on how your gonna react when you find out that I have fallen for you. So many questions keeps popping to my head like What if she doesn't feel the same way about me? What if she stops talking to me after I tell her? So many WHAT IF's..... I cant function if your not there.. I cant afford to lose you. I can pretend that I dont have feelings for you when your with me but I dont know how long that's gonna last becoz everytime im with you I just love you even more, I grow a little bit closer to you everytime your with me. I think about you all the time. Sometimes I feel like you know I have feelings about you for some reason.. We have small flings but doenst mean anything.. or maybe it is... idk what to do... I'm so confuse!!! Loving you maybe the hardest thing that happened to me but I'm so glad I met you becoz you made my life complete.
DaOneandOnlyOne DaOneandOnlyOne 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 5, 2012

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Phew, this story has me feeling all nostaligic. I certainly hope you can be with this girl, you really seem to have fallen for her. I'm sure you're really apprehensive about the telling her the truth, but I think it's worth a shot if you see an oppprtunity. Hope things work out between you two.

I'm really dying to tell her but I just cant.. (Im so scared) I love her so much that I cant afford to lose her!!! How did yours go?

That's why I'm telling you to go for it, because I never went through with telling my crush I liked her. To be honest, it became somewhat painful to not say anything after a while. Just don't want you to go through that as well, is all.

My problem is she's my teammate, and also a very good friend close to be my best friend. I'm always having second thought becoz i dont want her to get mad at me especially if wer playing in the court... like tomorrow we have a very important game and i cant afford to be upset becoz she's mad at me for telling her and she wouldn't understand. If she rejects me Im going to be sad and might mess up a very big game :(

Yeah ok, that makes sense. But you're a senior, right? Maybe you could tell her after you guys graduate. Then you wouldn't have to worry about messing up any games or her being overly upset. Just a suggestion, but it's up to you if you don't tell her. As long as your ok with letting her go, y'know?

i guess.. and if that happen I would probably mark that day as the most saddest day of my life :,( I cant see myself not being with her..

Well, if that's the case, do whatever makes you happy. I don't want to push you to do something you aren't fond of doing.

its not that i dont its just too complicated as you know.... well atleast for you its kind of easy!!! you dont have to deal with the girl not girl thing or parent might get mad if they found out that their daughter is in love with a girl...

idk...

Hang in there, 1&only, things won't stay like this forever. I'm going to bed, but if you want to talk about whatever, let me know.

lol.. tnx & me too have school. Would you be OL tomorrow?

You're welcome. & I should be on later tonight. PMing each other might be easier though, haha.

8 More Responses

ohh.. tnx!!

keep loving. girls are very delicate. she will understand you one day..goodluck coz girl loving girl is never abnormal.

adre3 im sorry but who is that?

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