I'm Trying..

I'm trying so hard not to like you and most especially to love you.. I know in the end I'm the one who's heart is going to get hurt. I try so hard to ignore you.. I feel bad I didn't mean to hurt your feelings I just want to STOP!! I did this to Stop this MADNESS.. Today is the day that I'm not so proud of.. THIS DAY is the HARDEST and MOST STUPIDEST DAY that I have. Hard becoz I have to ignore you.. during my free period I normally see you sitting in Math class while I go to the computer lab.. I love watching you looking down at your math notebook or stare at me as I pass your class. I ignore you in the lockers.. I just can't afford to fall for you even more becoz I'm so scared to lose you :,( Lose you because I'm love with you.. I dont want to be the reason of us not being friends anymore.. Loving you is the most wonderful that is ever happended to me but I can't risk our friendship coz I love you more than just a friend.. so if I have to take a break and tell my mind and myself to stop loving you I will.. I can't afford to lose you... STUPID because Y am I so scared to tell you I LOVE YOU!!! I been through a lot that This things should be easy.. Maybe becoz I never fell in love in a girl before.. Maybe becoz I'm use to loving guys not girls.. idk THIS IS SO STUPID!! I can't even do a thing.. I really want to text you and explain myself but if I do that I have to tell you the reason why I'm doing it and I don't want that to happend.. Sometimes I wish that maybe today or tomorrow you find this site and you read all my stories... so I dont have to explain myself.. I wish that you comment to my stories and I comment back then a week or 2 later we found out It was YOU and ME talking and start from there :) but life doesn't work like fairytales... When life started its going to hammer you down if your not ready for it! I maybe made a mistake ignoring today.. :/ I'm sorry....
DaOneandOnlyOne DaOneandOnlyOne
18-21, F
Nov 30, 2012