Nicole

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole... She is the only girl I have ever really liked so far in life. She has the same humor as I do, she listens to good music, she cares so deeply for people..there is so much I could say about her. I met her at work. We both work in the kitchen at a nursing home. (romantic hey?) She's the cook and I, along with two other people do all the other dirty work. The first time I saw her she was washing her hands, she was wearing dark blue scrubs, and we made eye contact twice while she was throwing away her paper towel. I could tell right away that she was a lesbian and right away she drew me in. The first time I heard her voice she was telling a joke to the person training me in. My coworker, after Nicole ran off, told me that she had the worst humor but I thought the joke was funny. I just laughed. I'm smiling right now just thinking about it. She and I can get each other laughing so hard and that's what I love about us. We are just so comfortable around each other. After a couple months of working and smiling at each other from a distance, laughing at each others jokes, she finally asked me to hang out with her. "Kat, would you be interested in hanging out? Like, go for a walk or something?" she said nervously. I got excited right away and said,"Yes! Definitely!" We left it at that and for the rest of the day I got really nervous/excited. I don't think we hung out right away. It might have been two or three days after she asked but each day I remember just being so excited. When we finally hung out we went for a drive. All over the back roads, downtown, through random streets. She smoked her cigarettes and I secondhand smoked. We talked and laughed together and I just knew that we were going to be great friends and possibly something more. Everyday after our first hang out we hung out basically everyday. We went bowling, played pool, went for drives, stargazed, listened to music, walked, etc. We just had fun. Work was more fun too because we were getting to know each other a little bit more. She gave me something to look forward to. One day she was really quiet in the car, she seemed like her head was going to explode. Meaning, there was a lot on her mind. From time to time she would hint that she liked someone else and she didn't know how to tell them. In our silences she would just sigh and remind me that that same person is still on their mind and she was really stressed. Of course I knew was me or else she would have told me their name. One night she did. She told me that she could stop thinking about us. She loved so many things about me and the little things I would do. She said it was me on her mind and she didn't know what to do because she thought I was straight. I shocked her by saying that I think I'm bisexual because I liked her too. Nicole wanted to throw up and I wanted to get out of the car and run in circles. We were so nervous! Ever since then she and I have been hanging out and doing the same things but they just get more intense. She hugs me longer, tells me she loves me as a person, and she almost kissed me. We almost did. The only reason we didn't and the only reason that we hold back is because she has a girlfriend of 5 months. It also doesn't help that my family doesn't support LGBTs and my best friend warned me that if I were to be a lesbian she wouldn't come to my wedding if I ever had one or let me live in her house anymore if she felt uncomfortable with me. I don't know what to do. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole...
0woolsocks 0woolsocks
18-21, F
Dec 10, 2012