so i am in love with my girl. we started off friends but one day we both told eachother we felt the same way we've been together in secret for about 7 months but its at the point where shes done with the secrets and it ready for being open. im not sure im ready.. i have always had interest in guys but never had a serious relationship besides this one with her. she doesnt think this is really what i want and im confused myself but i know how she makes me feel and i dont want to lose that, i really am in love with her. im so lost on what to do. im just so nervous to come out and have me and her not work out.

any advice would be great..

goinginsane1189 goinginsane1189
18-21, F
7 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Wow, reading your story brought back many memories. I myself admitted to my friend that I felt the same as she. We've been together 8 months and she's my first serious relationship. We were dating in school, so for the first months, I was terrified! Terrified of what I would deal with if it were an open relationship. I felt like there was no way I could come out over night to everybody in my life. Much less risk the possibility of my family finding out. But one day, after realizing how much I'd been hurting her by keeping our relationship a secret, I kissed her in public. And the next day I kissed her in public again. And it felt terrifying, sure, but it also felt liberating. 8 months after expressing my feelings to her, I'm more honest with myself and family members than ever. I understand the concern you feel. But the people who really care about you will see your happiness and understand it as happiness and just that. If not immediately, eventually they will look past the gender and will be thankful for your honesty. And if your relationship does not work out, then it will fail, but it will fail without your fear being the cause of it. Give this relationship a real chance, WHENEVER YOU FEEL READY. It is obvious she loves you and understands you.

Im kinda in the same place as you ... <br />
I started a new job and meet my girl there. I had a boyfriend but one drunken night out we kissed. It started happening everytime we were drunk and eventually I finished with my boyfriend. Since then we have been inseparable :) Its been 5months but noone knows although my mum and a few friends have asked questions my girl does not want anyone to know. I dont mind keeping it a secret for her but i would rather everyone knew so that i could hug or kiss her whenever and whereever i want. <br />
For both of us this is our first time with the same sex and my girl has really been questionin herself and her sexuality however I believe you fall in love with the person and not the gender so for me it would be easy to come out and tell all but I am not going to push my girl into this as I know she is feeling like you. You said your nervous that you's wont work if you come out ... sure things might change when everyone knows and some people will judge but that will not change how you guys feel about each other and really thats all that matters. My advice is just make sure your partner knows exactly how your feeling and when the time is right you's will be in it together :) Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. xx

do whats right for you. keyword is YOU.

First of all, if your partner loves you that much, she should respect that you're not ready.<br />
Coming out is a big thing for anyone i'm sure, you need to take your time on this. eventually yes, you will have to let people know. but when you're certain and ready. if she's pushing you in to this, what does that say about her?<br />
i don't mean to criticise her, because i don't know what she's like. but from where i'm sittin, if a person is not ready for something, it is perfectly their right to wait, and as your partner, she should respect that. <br />
if she has any respect for you and your feelings, she'll wait until the time is right. just because she is ready, doesn't give her the right to assume that you are.

You have to go with your heart and as Sara said, there is nothing wrong with loving another woman. My life has changed so much and my girl and I are so glad we are together. Love is what we want it to be, and no one can take that from us.

Oh, honey, I know how you feel! I am in a realtionship with a woman I love now... but just a year ago I was living with a guy!!! My girl is an out lesbian but I had to really wrestle with my feelings like you. I wrote a lot about it here and other EPers really, really helped.<br />
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Please know that there is NOTHING wrong with a woman loving another woman. NOTHING. Love is love and it is beautiful. There is no other thing in this world as wonderful as being in the arms of the person you love -- so don't let anyone else tell you who that person should be!<br />
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Talk with me more if you would like and know that I and other women are here for you!

There isn't any right or wrong answer here. You're not as isolated as you may feel....more than half of girls your age have had same-sex relationships, and the stigma isn't as big as it used to be. But still, there are parents to deal with, and unsympathetic friends. All I can tell you is to go with your heart, with what feels best under the circumstances. Only you can know how you feel about her.<br />
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Good luck, whatever you do!