After 10 Years...

I saw a kid when I was 6 and accidentally met her again in dance classes in college. She was so goodlooking smart and accomplished. She was also not a typical girly type. I fell head over heals for her. It has just been guys for me but I was never able to get over her. Years back she was very happy to have me as her best friend and I ended up telling her about my feelings. She tried to talk me out of it and said that she cant reciprocate...but may be in the future.

I tried to give my best shot as a good buddy and supported her in every way. But she behaved strange and aloof. Sometimes not turning up for meetings she had promised or returning my calls. Out of varsity we started working and she was still aloof and vacillating. I lost my head and misbehaved and we did not speak for 2 years. Then we met accidentally...became friends again and again she became aloof.

We started drifting though I tried to call her and apologise. Then I left country. All these years somehow by miracle I came to know when she got married and had her kid. She never wrote a mail or called me.

After 10 years she added me in a social networking site and we were in the same city. I was married and her kid is a toddler. All her family lives in this city and she is happy. But she reconnected with me and told me that she knows how bad I felt in love with her. She begged me to start off again on a new note. She said that she rated freindship above love.I was hurt and angry so initially refused. Because we were teenagers when we were friends and we are now touching  30s.

She didnt say even once that she is straight and so did not respond. She just said that she couldnt because she had problems and was in love with a guy who also hurt her. When I saw this guys pic I was shocked. Not only did he have my surname and belonged to the same community. He almost looked similar to me like a twin brother. I know that my friend may be lonely and needing a good friend...but then why me"? If she was uncomfortable with my attraction earlier how can she be comfortable now. Though it was always platonic. I still have feelings for her and I have told her how difficult it was for me to heal. I am confused at what she wants...because she is willing to discuss and sort all the heartbreak she caused me 10 years back as a friend. She tells me that my love made her weak..and that she never betrayed me by giving false hope and she left because I was so much in love and she couldnt respond.

Please tell me...what should I do. Her husband hardly cares much and am estranged from my husband. I am also a romantic poet amd always expressed my love for her thru poems. Should I be buddies with her...can love change to friendship? Can two people reconnect after 10 years? Can I trust her? Can she hurt me again?---- she thinks there may be a miracle as we are away from our hometowns. Dont know what to do.

atwes atwes
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2010

I know how you feel. I fell in love with a 6 year old girl one time. Except I was 22 and nobody understood our love for one another... <br />
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The world and it's morality. When everyone is a liberal, then I will get to do whatever I want to do.

I say try and be friends if you can, but if your feelings come back it will be hard to stay friends.