What To Do To Control My Feeling....
When i first met this girl, it was during my unversity orientation week. It is the last day. The new undergraduate students were all playing a game. and I remember she ask me to join the group. And i just went over to join. At that time, I didn't know her yet, but the weird thing is i remember that moment until today (2 years already past). She give a 1 impression of a stuborn, funny girl.
After that, the next day, she went to me and ask me to play the game with her again. I just shake her off. But then when class started, she is my classmate and we stay at the same block, same floor. I meet her everyday but not close to her. Gradually, when time past, we beecome closer and we started to be very intimate friends. She will come to my room every morning because she had some problem with her roomate.
She is a very smart girl with excellent result and this made some ppl like my mate and some friends were not comfortable being wit her. And everytime they mention to me, i defend her. And things started to get out of hand, when I started to behave too protective towards her. I think of her everytime and anywhere. All I can do is worried about her, wondering where she is and getting jealous when she talk to other guys. She respond to me too and she really intimate with me like brushing her body with mine, hugging around with our face so close together barely a centimeter apart in the public. I was so happy.
But then an incident happen, you know when you like someone, unconsciously you will start saying yes to her every demand and following her around. This spark rumours within my part of fren. They say that she is manipulating me and I am being played by her. I 100% did not agree wit this and talk to them. Worst happened. It eveolve into an arguement so big that my roomate, fren, and she cried. I have 3 girls crying in front of me in 1 night!!
But that is a past event. and now everyone become frenz. The rumour stops. But the thing is....over the past 2 years, I tell myself to stop likong her. Every semester break when I went home, I forced my feeling down. When I successfully compress my feeling to the corner of my heart, she pull it all out again on my birthday. The whole day, she stick to me like sticky glue. Treating me so good that all the feelings come burstong out again.
Until now, I still can't get over her. I can't tell her about my feelings as i am scared and she is definitely not that typer of gurl. but sometimes she give that feeling that she like me too, more than just a fren. And I dun want to become one too, but my feelings is........arrrgghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!