But I Have A Bf.. :/

This will be a long one.
I ask you to not judge and do NOT give me advice (like break up w/ bf etc.)
So let's call her E.
E is my first biggest real completely real girl crush.
I really like her. I desire her.
The first day I saw her, I didn't think it was a crush, well it grew into a crush. Literally After my first week of seeing her on my bus everyday and staring at the back of her head I realized that this wasn't any normal human interest..
When I confessed to myself that this had to be a crush, she got a boyfriend. That stopped nothing. I started to like her more and more. Let's call E's bf Edwardo. Well ex bf. They went out for about two and a half months. I never really got to know her or spoke to her while she was with him. I only complimented her on her shirt :). Anyway I would hate the way Edwardo treated E she deserved so much better.. Seeing him so kissy w/ her when she just wanted a sweet goodbye kiss (I read her body language) was upsetting for me. It made me want her more... Idk why they broke up but I saw her in the cafe w/ a friend of mine. I walked up to E and told her how great she looked dancing for this talent show. She said thanks and did her cute smile. We are now on our way to being friends. I've never ever wanted a girl like this... She's a catch too because she's one of those great girls all the guys want and all the girls want to be friends with. So I say hi to her everyday now and follow her on my way to one of my classes. The other day while I was doing this, I said hey and we talked. I made her laugh and see that cute smile shine. Its hard cus I like her and I have a bf. I want my bf but he is a different want. E is so muchmore than him and I just wish she was mine. That her and I could eat lunch together. That I could hold hands with her and walk her to her bus, and sweetly kiss her goodbye like she would like.
Only one person knows about her, a very great friend I talk on the phone with that I met here.
E's my lovely secret.
I hold her, here.
In my heart, where her presence makes the beat pulse faster than the speed of light...
WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom
18-21, F
32 Responses May 6, 2011

That sounds really sweet! I'm on the same situation with you.

I know that feeling...

I am in the same predictament as u r I like this girl sooo much at work that it drives me nuts. When I see her talking to another girl I get jealous already. How am I supposed to feel about that?

That was a beautiful story. Like reading a poem. Thank you for sharing it.

i have a girl i like but im scared to tell her that. i think that sh ewill hate me and then i will lose her of even as a friend. :(...... oh yeah and my family hates lesbians. what should i do.

We all feel that this sometimes whatever your sexuality xxx

Know how you feel and completely understand!

cute..<br />
why dont you try telling her how you feel?<br />
well i once did.. and it worked.. shes now my girlfriend for 8 years..<br />
maybe i am just so inlove with her? i thnk more than that.. bcause i was nver afraid shes not gonna like me bcause she was my tcher and i was just her student.. i cudnt care.. i love her... until now my heart stops when i know im gonna see her..

I can feel you, i mean we're experiencing same thing. Im a bit boyish and few girls rold me they have a feelings for me but that doesnt matter. There this girl who i really like but i cannot tell her. I have a boyfriend though but i kept on thinking bout that girl. Shes so sweet that i would explode whenevervshe texts me. And btw, i like your story very nice. :(

I can feel you, i mean we're experiencing same thing. Im a bit boyish and few girls rold me they have a feelings for me but that doesnt matter. There this girl who i really like but i cannot tell her. I have a boyfriend though but i kept on thinking bout that girl. Shes so sweet that i would explode whenevervshe texts me. And btw, i like your story very nice. :(

maybe u should watch the "south of nowhere" season 1 2 nd 3 ....u can relate ur situation in this movie,,,,goodluck....

We did... but I stopped talking to her cus I cared about her too much but now I'm coming to being her friend again and starting again tomorrow.. or whenever.

Aha yeah.

Wonderful! Take care, dear one, for the mist has set and thou must find your way through. :)

@Dragonlady thank youu :)

@Juliegirlie, yes we do..! thanks for the compliment. I broke up with my boyfriend soo. It's so true what you say. A judge on the outside, and never about the inside of a person... :) thats okay I accept you Julie as you are for you have shown to me that you're a good person, so far :D

:) + **curtsy**

We all have our little secrets. It's a nice story, unfortunately our society is struggling to accept that some people do not walk the same path. One judge on the outside, never on the inner feelings or value of the soul. No matter what one thinks of you, like those with whom you feel in keeping heart and mind. Julie is not ordinary either!<br />

I cant even talk to a girl I like .. (:

aww now why not?

I went thru the same thing. Its hard to have a crush on a girl and you have a boyfriend. All those emotion go thru your mind and heart all at once. It didnt work out so well for me but hopefully for you it will.

Well what's your story? Why didn't it work out well for you? Maybe they are for me, I broke itt off with himm

Haha thanks go ahead; just give me credit :))

I'm gonna sound like a real b*tch here, don't mind me. He's nothing like E. I mean he's really sweet, friendly, (the only two things they have similar I guess) very timid, very careful, lame, cheesy, annoying, but he is really nice and treats me well. To me, it seems like there's nothing more to him. I feel like I Know him already and I don't like that. I want to dive into everything, and when you're nothing but shallow water- it's like swimming in a kiddy pool when you're experienced with swimming in the deep end, that's what he's like.<br />
Also he can be rather immature. That grates on my nerves a bit.<br />

What's he like?<br />
<br />
(Yes, I am being creepy, thank you very much)...

Nope, does not sound bad at all! Yeah they do... E's like everything my bf isn't. I like his smile but it's nothing. Her smile is like candy coated birds in a field of gum drops...<br />
Okay you can have that award, but I'll stand up and take creeper of the year award. Lawll.

Ahaha thanks T :D. Lol creep staring! You get girl crushes, that's awesomee :). Nah not creepy to me, considering I live on creeper status haha. KEEP IT REAL GIRL.

Yw :), so is your crush at school or what? and I agree!

thanks :) it is rough, which is why it's great that we can connect to people going through the same things here!

@Kev10 <br />
No problem.. it's a relief to share. Thank you very much.

@Fadingviolet isn't it rough? Love the username by the way.

@Girl Anonymous I've been with him for two weeks.. She walked into my life first... but I gave up on her, thinking she'll be with her bf forever but now they're broken up and now I have my bf but I still like her... and thanks.

Erratic Shadow, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I read, I am almost certain I understand what you are saying and how you feel. I carefully listened to you. I respect your shared thoughts and ideas. I respect you. I appreciate you and your openness.<br />

I understand completely.

How long have you been with your boyfriend?<br />
<br />
Good luck with your girl crush