Can't Stop Thinking About My Co-worker...

Well here goes. I am 25, I have always assumed I was "straight" and it was not until going to college and making friends with people who pretty much live without labelling themselves or others that I became more open to looking into my own feelings I often have for women. I am always drawn to women before men, I notice them, I watch them I wish I knew how to tell if they are interested or not. The "L Word" makes it all seem so simple!!! haha. I recently started a new job where I met this ridiculously beautiful and kind and clever woman. She's a goddess. She is about twice my age. I immediately felt close to her, like I knew her. We talk and talk and have a lot in common despite our age gap. I can't stop staring at her, or thinking about her. I feel like such a cliche. I notice her looking at me too but I can't tell if she's thinking "aw my friend" or "**** she's pretty." She is single, and as far as I can tell straight. What's a girl to do?? Anyone have some advice for me? My friends are like "just be friends with her and see what happens" blah blah yeah but are there signals you can look for? or like things I could be doing that aren't sleazy/awkward that could help me?!?! Thanks in advance and love to you, my invisible friends.
everywheretheresheis everywheretheresheis
5 Responses Oct 13, 2011

OK here it goes ........ From what I have read and gathered ba<x>sed upon what you have written, and since you two already talk a lot with each other, you need to tell her you feelings and let her know where you stand and what you would like to see from the both of you. The very worst thing that could happen (if you 2 are truly friends and talking and trust each other) is that she tells you no because she doesnt feel the same way about you as you do with her. She will understand and still remain your friend OR she will embrace your feelings and emotions. Either way, it will be a win-win situation for the both of you because all the animosities you have built up from not being able to tell her will be gone and you can feel and act natural around her. good luck hun xx lick lick Stephanie

thanks stephanie.. i totally hear what you're saying but it is so hard to do!! at the moment i am content to be her friend, just being near her makes me happy. However, you're right, while i am around her i find it hard to act natural because of all the feelings i have for her. we've been doing things out of work together and the more i know her, the more attracted i am to her, the more afraid i am of reality merging with my fantasy world.. x

Like I said ..... if she is truly your good friend then she will listen to you and understand where you are coming from and you should not have the fear of losing her as just a friend if she turns you down to take it to the next step. So, if you two are the friends you say you are then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by sitting her down and talking woman to woman with her.

Wow, this sounds so much like my situation. Except I'm 21 while she's 34, I think. And I met her at college. But I think she knows how I feel about her, and is keeping me at arms length because of it.

oh no :( i am sorry to hear that, this is the kind of situation i am afraid of.. what happened? how does she know you are into her?

She's very intuitive and I think I might be slightly showing how I feel, so she is just trying not to encourage me. I honestly don't know for sure, though. I could be totally wrong and she might not know about my feelings for her.

Pull away from her; if she follows you it's more than just looks on the surface or being Platonic friends...

dating the boss is never a good idea. otherwise, slow and casual. Watch "Kissing Jessica Stien".

Is this woman your boss?<br />
If not and you are ready to take a chance, date her like a guy would. Lunch, dinners, meet at the movies. Drink a little too much wine at her house and have to sleep over. If she has a brain in her head she will know what you are doing and let you know if she is ready.

No she isn't my boss, we just work together. thanks for the advice :)

So, what happened? I'm curious to know.