Maybe I Can't Be Trusted Alone With Her

I have this friend that I use to be really close with. Both if our husbands know that we're bi. They are sorta alright with us getting together, but it'll never work out. My husband doesn't mind me having a little thing with her, but for it to be alright with her to be bi, he has to have some part of. Needless to say that's not alright with me or my husband.

To bring you up to speed, we were really close in jr high, she married young sort of thing. Lately we've been talking on fb and texting more. Out of nowhere one night she started drunk texting and sexing me. It was pretty hot! We've talked about how to get together and realized it'll probably never happen. To make things worse her husband won't let he alone with me. He's fine hanging our in groups or the 4 of us, but we can't go out for lunch, coffee, anything. Her and I have had some little tiffs about it, but it is what it is. The sex-texting still continued here and there. We've swapped a few pics last time.

Last weekend was her birthday which was a themed party. I went alone without my husband. She looked good in this little dress and thigh highs that covered very little. The part went great, and everyone started getting pretty hammered. I stayed pretty sober because if the drive home I had. She led me into the bathroom at one point to show me a tattoo she needs fix above her va ( I am a tattoo artist at a professional shop). She pulled her skirt up exposing the little string thing she was wearing. I kept it professional and gave her my opinion of her tattoo. There were other people in the bathroom from the party and she had been slamming drinks. It was so hot though. It was so hard to keep my cool. If I had more to drink and the bathroom had been empty, I don't know if I could have stopped myself.

What if I can't trust myself around her?

Later when I was leaving the party she hugged me goodbye. Then she grabbed me to hug her again. I could tell she didn't want me to go. This time she pressed herself and breast tightly against me. I ran my hand across her shoulder blades noticing how soft and delicate she was. We pulled away and just starred deeply at each other fumbling for the right goodbye. We walked closer to the door where she hugged me one last time lingering a little longer. I said goodbye one last time and walked to my car.

I have been for awhile very sexually attracted to women. It drives me crazy!

Now I've been thinking about her since. Not just her though. I've talked to some other closer friends lately. Just flirty crush stuff. I'll talk about them later.

I don't know if it the urge that is making me want her so bad or if it is her, and I can't be trusted alone with her. Does she feel the same way? This can't work. Was she hoping for me to make a move and take her right there in the bathroom? I don't know. I just think I want her now.
deleted deleted
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

If your attracted to her go for it tell your s/o that you like her alot take a break from him and see if the attraction is real tell him you need to know how you feel about this its been bothering you

you sound like you have good sense and a good heart. You'll do the right thing.. Just go slow, and keep things honest and above the table.. It will work out I'm sure.