My experience of realizing I was gay was like going through the the steps of loss and grief, if you know what I'm talking about. First is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. I have such a hard time getting passed depression, when i do I just go back to it a couple of months later. I really hate people who think that being gay is a choice. I would give anything not to be. I've just been really depressed lately. I think i need to talk to a therapist.