Ever since I was a child I always loved androgyny. Men and women that blend gender lines is a definite turn on. I have many gay friends as well. As for myself, I have always been attracted to women sexually; however, I never wanted to be in a lesbian relationship. Here's why. Other people picked up on my attraction as well. As a result, I was bullied and ostracized because of it (and the fact that I was tall, big, and somewhat of a tomboy). So I hid my attractions and became slightly antisocial. I've never dated seriously and I have yet to have my experience with a woman. Recently, my sister began a lesbian relationship. I couldn't help but feel a sense of resentment (and even anger). My entire life I have denied myself the opportunity to experience the love of a woman because I didn't want to play into my family's suspicions. My entire adolescence I was labelled and rejected and now my sister is getting to experience the thing I got bullied for. To make matters worse, my sister is my complete opposite. Whereas I am the awkward tortured nerd, my sister is the popular skinny socialite. Because we are so different, we are not exactly close. When she began dating her girlfriend, she was celebrated. People continued to worship my sister. My best friend (who is bisexual) became close to my sister and even found out my sister was gay before me. I have always protected and been there for my sister and she hides this important part of her life from me. My friend and I were going through a rough patch (I honestly thinks she wants more than a friendship) and being able to harbor this secret from me secretly excited her. I know it sounds petty; but, am I wrong for being upset?
zenlover87 zenlover87
26-30, F
Aug 17, 2014