I Knew Early On

By my early & mid-teens, I was definitely aware of my sexual desires, needs & preferences. My still young mind couldn't explain things clearly to me, but I knew I wished to be a girl.

As it was, I was wearing women's clothing whenever I could, shaving my legs & private parts, wearing lipstick &, generally, being as girlish as possible without anyone finding out. Further, my sexual fantasies were not of the heterosexual sort nor, in my mind anyhow, homosexual variety. In these fantasies  I was the girl in the Playboy, Cavalier and other magazines of the day. In them I was the attractive women decked out in heels, hose & garter belts and the centerfold that guys drooled over & later j/o at was me. I so wanted to be he beautiful girl but knew there was no fairy godmother or other resource to make these dreams & fantsies come true.

I accepted my lot in life & over the years fulfilled many of those fantasies as a bottom transvestite. The thrills & contentment achieved in this role carried me through some difficult times and allowed me to reach absolute bliss for extended periods. They never completely replaced my dreams but I knew they were was as close as I could ever hope to get and have always appreciated them.

So, I was first a girl and then a woman at times. My penis kept me from living fulltime as a female until recently, but the fact I could enjoy my preferred pleasures  on a regular & ongoing basis compensated immensely

janusatv janusatv
61-65, T
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

Fabulous sweetie