Patience, Respect, Acceptance, Determination,resilience, Love

I love my husband. I didn't like his family but I respected them because he loved them even though he often complained about them.

Mother in laws never win favor by their daughter in laws because they are not like their own mothers. I didn't like mine eathier, but I loved my husband.

I had a diifficult time with my mother in law. She always talked about my husbands ex girlfriend, especially when my husband was not around to hear her. I don't know what makes people do these things because it is so hurtful to the daughter in law, but it is, what it is. ACCEPTANCE

I didn't agree with half of what my mother in law said but I still listened and pretended to be interested. I always did what I chose to do anyhow. RESPECT

I was determined that I would show her and the family that I was a good person and belonged with her son. I did. It took PATIENCE.

It took time and DETERMINATION. It was worth it, because my husband and I are still happily married after 38 years.

If you really and truly love your man, you will go out of your way to earn respect from his family and when that happens, your husband will love you more because his family is praising you.

I won the tug a war with my mother in law. It took RESILIENCE.

Afterwards, I found myself beginning to LOVE many of my husbands family members. They made me feel comfortable, welcome, accepted, and most importantly my opinions were important to them. I became family.

My father used to say "When someone says something to you that you don't like, toss the words in a bag keep the bag closed, and if the bag gets full, get a new bag" My father was right! He taught me well.

I am a good daughter in law, because I earned respect and love from my husbands family.

Being married for as long as I have been is not easy, but the fact that his family loves me is a powerful tool in our favor.

Young people today, want respect before it is earned from their elders. Things have not changed. Respecting your elders is something that has been here since before Christ, probably since caveman days and respecting elders is in every culture around the world.

chaus chaus
51-55, F
2 Responses Apr 19, 2008

I have been with my husband for 29 years. My mother in law has some of the flaws you describe above but doesn't use them on me but on her son, her daughter, her husband and others who give her the room to do so. I'm not sure why she doesn't do this to me. My husband and I met when we were 16 and I was certainly vulnerable enough at the time. <br />
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I think one of the most valuable things you can take from this is to consciously reflect on the kind of parent and parent-in-law you will be (if you are so lucky). As a parent, how will you raise children who are confident, kind, respectful, and self-advocates? In terms of being an in-law, how will you do it differently? How will you know for real that you are not manipulating situations, making snide and hurtful comments, or emphasizing the 'good old days'? <br />
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Be sure that it's not just a case of easier said than done!

Absolutely true, my mother in law and sister in law would tell me how beautiful all my husbands ex girlfriends were. I just grinned and said but i won his love and heart and thats all that matters. We have been married in may for 46 years, we shared mutual respect for one anothers parents and family, Our phylosophy is we can agree to disagree and still love one another. It is not always easy because no matter what, some inlaws are not understanding, as our family lost 18 years with our oldest son and 2 of our grand kids because he could not be assertive and speak up when he needed too. But that is another story.