.. I Deserve to Be Loved With My Imperfections!!!!

The reason for this statement is my experience of life in general, especially love relationships.  I have gone through my life doing the best I can- at work, at home, with family and of cause in my romantic love relationships.  But it never seems enough, I always fall short somewhere it seems. I'm currently going through a terrible heartbreak.  My partner of 2 yrs basically abandoned me when I needed him the most.  I was always there for him, I stood by him while he was between jobs, helped him move, listened to his endless stories about how badly the world was treating him.  I was there to massage his body for hours after long days at work, I looked after his place whenever he was away, I cooked, I even bought his bed linen for him, I was there whenever he needed someone.  But the minute I expressed any needs of my own from him I was the impatient crazy girlfriend.  I've been completing a degree after 3 yrs and all I needed was a bit of support when the going got a little tough.  I was not perfect but I tried so damn hard I must have been as close as you can get to it.  After the break-up all I could hear in my head was the blame from him.  2 years of loving someone, supporting and being their best friend in good times and bad and all they can talk about are the few things I got wrong.  What about the endless list of good things I did?  Do they count for nothing?  Its hurts so bad. And he was by no means perfect either. 

I see now what a fool I have been.  Still I refuse to become bitter even though my heart is shattered into a thousand pieces.  I will continue to strive to always be a good person, who is kind and considerate of all living things equally.  I will help the old, play with the kids, support the sick, be a good daughter, sister, friend etc.  I do not know how to carry this amount of hurt and pain so I pray for the healing of my heart.  My tears will not be in vain.

Angells Angells
4 Responses Feb 3, 2009

You do that, pray.....pray for the healing, and for God to put you in the direction you need to go....have faith in him, between you and he, you will be fine, you have to believe, be strong, and keep the faith. I'm not a "holy roller" but I've been through my own hell this year, and have put others through it too. Now, I have to move forward. I am trying to forgive myself of the shame and guilt, and to heal my heart, mind, and soul. I know I can't do it alone, it comes from within, and by the grace of God, It will happen, and I will be able to live and love life...all the simple things it has to offer, with the love and support from my family friends, and husband (who I think has suffered the worst through all my recent trials and tribulations). Be patient, be strong, and most importantly have faith. You are a beautiful person, and you deserve to be happy, we all do. With time, your pains will heal and you will find what you are looking for and what you deserve. God Bless You and good luck

You deserve to be treated well, always remember that. You did a lot of work and were rewarded with being let down. It's hard, but you've gotta look out for yourself first. Do what makes you happy. Happiness is possible.

You're better off without him. He didn't appreciate you.<br />
When you get over the hurt you'll see that and be thanking your lucky stars. There is some guy out there that will see all the good in you and value you for who you are and not by what you do or don't do.

no one is perfect