.. I Deserve to Be Loved With My Imperfections!!!!
The reason for this statement is my experience of life in general, especially love relationships. I have gone through my life doing the best I can- at work, at home, with family and of cause in my romantic love relationships. But it never seems enough, I always fall short somewhere it seems. I'm currently going through a terrible heartbreak. My partner of 2 yrs basically abandoned me when I needed him the most. I was always there for him, I stood by him while he was between jobs, helped him move, listened to his endless stories about how badly the world was treating him. I was there to massage his body for hours after long days at work, I looked after his place whenever he was away, I cooked, I even bought his bed linen for him, I was there whenever he needed someone. But the minute I expressed any needs of my own from him I was the impatient crazy girlfriend. I've been completing a degree after 3 yrs and all I needed was a bit of support when the going got a little tough. I was not perfect but I tried so damn hard I must have been as close as you can get to it. After the break-up all I could hear in my head was the blame from him. 2 years of loving someone, supporting and being their best friend in good times and bad and all they can talk about are the few things I got wrong. What about the endless list of good things I did? Do they count for nothing? Its hurts so bad. And he was by no means perfect either.
I see now what a fool I have been. Still I refuse to become bitter even though my heart is shattered into a thousand pieces. I will continue to strive to always be a good person, who is kind and considerate of all living things equally. I will help the old, play with the kids, support the sick, be a good daughter, sister, friend etc. I do not know how to carry this amount of hurt and pain so I pray for the healing of my heart. My tears will not be in vain.