I Am a Goth
My mother never could understand the fixatin with black, but it was always there. She used to watch the Addams Family and the Munsters, Dark Shadows and other things which I cant remember. She had the sound track to Dark Shadows and played it all the time. As I got older I didn't like regular light, and became a candle maniac. There were old houses and a few graveyards around and while other people considered them morbid and gloomy, I would seek them out and spend time walking through empty rooms or reading old stones, finding that I got quite a bit of information on people from the past. I never saw the point to the "evil and morbid" issue, to me they were just places where people from the past were. I relaxed there, wrote a few songs there and went to them to escape being occasionally depressed. People would sanctimoniously follow a hearse to a graveyard, then afterward condemn the car because it had dead people in it and that was somehow gross.
In later years I had four hearses and I really enjoyed driving them, or having one of these highly unusual cars in the yard. The "ewwwe" attitude of others bcame amusing. AS a novelty I bought a casket from an auction and refitted it, then took it to the local haunted attractions and took photos in it. That turned out profitable and pretty soon the setup got very elaborate.
I always knew I was different, wearing black jeans that had buttons down the legs, a chrome waist chain and liking my hair black. When a group called Midnight Syndicate started making music for the houses, I found myself absorbing it and realized how different. I pretty much had the Gomez Addams mentality, but after a while I realized that contrary to popular belief there was nothing evil about it, just different.
After I had kids I found a 17th century black overcoat and I would never wear anything else if I could avoid it. I bought victorian clothes and even atop hat, and people would tell me how abnormal all that was, that I should stop that and wear "normal clothes like everybody else" I got to wondering why the demand to be a copy of others was such a big deal. I liked what I did, so finally I said the hell with it and did it. Let em stare.
Others would also run indoors to escape the storms outside and the wilder the lightning got the more I stood and watched it. I never fit in at the regular clubs and bars, but someone introduced me to a Goth club. There were plenty of others and I fit right in. They werent depressed, they werent cutting themselves, then werent worshipping Satan. They were just having fun and if I was not into something I just bypassed it.
I'm older now and I get nasty looks from some people, called names and told I hav mental problems. I feel very aware and very clear. No mental problems here. Some people are bothered because they dont have the freedom to do as they wish, and they want to go against the grain like I do, but cant bear the price.
I had one child that was very gothy, and people warned me of my supposed bad example. Like me she never got into any trouble or hurt anyone.
I learned many things as the Goth world grew around me, that black is not evil, people who are different are not evil and judging by looks is a terrible thing to do. I also learned that the past had style and flair that is gone nowdays, so I chose to embrace it myself.
As I light candles and listen to music I often think that maybe all of this is not normal, for others, but for me it is more normal than anything else. The people I buy my candles from appreciate that.
In later years I had four hearses and I really enjoyed driving them, or having one of these highly unusual cars in the yard. The "ewwwe" attitude of others bcame amusing. AS a novelty I bought a casket from an auction and refitted it, then took it to the local haunted attractions and took photos in it. That turned out profitable and pretty soon the setup got very elaborate.
I always knew I was different, wearing black jeans that had buttons down the legs, a chrome waist chain and liking my hair black. When a group called Midnight Syndicate started making music for the houses, I found myself absorbing it and realized how different. I pretty much had the Gomez Addams mentality, but after a while I realized that contrary to popular belief there was nothing evil about it, just different.
After I had kids I found a 17th century black overcoat and I would never wear anything else if I could avoid it. I bought victorian clothes and even atop hat, and people would tell me how abnormal all that was, that I should stop that and wear "normal clothes like everybody else" I got to wondering why the demand to be a copy of others was such a big deal. I liked what I did, so finally I said the hell with it and did it. Let em stare.
Others would also run indoors to escape the storms outside and the wilder the lightning got the more I stood and watched it. I never fit in at the regular clubs and bars, but someone introduced me to a Goth club. There were plenty of others and I fit right in. They werent depressed, they werent cutting themselves, then werent worshipping Satan. They were just having fun and if I was not into something I just bypassed it.
I'm older now and I get nasty looks from some people, called names and told I hav mental problems. I feel very aware and very clear. No mental problems here. Some people are bothered because they dont have the freedom to do as they wish, and they want to go against the grain like I do, but cant bear the price.
I had one child that was very gothy, and people warned me of my supposed bad example. Like me she never got into any trouble or hurt anyone.
I learned many things as the Goth world grew around me, that black is not evil, people who are different are not evil and judging by looks is a terrible thing to do. I also learned that the past had style and flair that is gone nowdays, so I chose to embrace it myself.
As I light candles and listen to music I often think that maybe all of this is not normal, for others, but for me it is more normal than anything else. The people I buy my candles from appreciate that.