Sweet VictoryI did it! I succeeded to overcome that devil, which is hidden somewhere deep down in me. I stabbed him and left him for dead at the decisive moment... changing the dynamic of my marriage dramatically.
The scenario: HoH comes unexpectedly home and officially declares: "We have to discuss something." My reaction: OMG, this must be
something big, when he is so formal...
I excused myself for a moment, claiming he would have my full attention as soon as I had relieved myself in the bathroom. But in reality I used the time rather to focus on three things: Keep calm, Let him finish what he has to say and then give your input only, if it's wanted and in the right tone!
It turned out that my husband wanted my opinion on a rather large business transaction. As I am doing the books for his business, he
saw it as just, that he conferred with me about the possibilities of this deal. I let him explain his view, realized his tendencies to go ahead
with the deal and listened calmly to all the details. Then I was given the chance to point out our state of finances, my concerns about the
deal and why, if it were my choice, I wouldn't go ahead. There was no harsh word, just plain facts and pro and cons of the deal, no emotional
outbursts, nothing of the sort of argument, which was so common in our life until a few months ago! It was the most pleasant 'business meeting'
we ever had and was over and done with in minutes.
HoH got up and left for the front door to make his way back to the workshop. I dared to ask: "So what is your decision?" He turned and
said: "Your way of looking at it, makes sense. I won't pursue the matter further, at this moment in time. Maybe I'll look into it again, once the other project is finalized." We kissed and off he was.
The story should be finished here, but I have to add, that I couldn't stop myself from dancing around my kitchen in circles and being jubilant all
afternoon! Not really, because my husband had decided my way, but I knew now, what a blessing the killing of this destructive devil inside me,
turned out to be. Never will I allow him to reincarnate himself! The days of fighting and argueing, of emotional outbursts of controlling and interfering
are a thing of the past.
Long live obedience!
IQplusfun 51-55, F 6 Responses 4 May 16, 2012