Twice The Pain

Three days before my son's 30th birthday, I received a phone call from my brother. My daughter in law had tried to reach me, but she couldn't. My brother informed me that my son had been killed in his truck on the way to work early one morning. The truck crushed him and they said he probably died instantly. He left behind a wife of three years who was carrying his first child a daughter that he never got the chance to see. My wife had died in this same month 20 years ago. This made it more difficult to deal with, alone. I had to be strong for my other kids. Just two months later my youngest son decided that life was too difficult for him and he committed suicide. Within 60 days I had to deal with the pain of losing two of my sons. You never get over it, you just deal with it. Little things still remind me of them. Sports, movies, music, and video games were the things they both enjoyed. Songs bring back memories and tears to my eyes. I have tried to help some other parents with the loss of their children. When I have been in a position to tell parents they have lost their child I know the pain they feel. When working in an emergency room so many of our young people are gone too soon because of silly things like proving something to a friend; Driving recklessly on a freeway;  playing chicken with a truck; Texting while driving and dying before you can send the text. I don't know how to stop hurting, but I do know how to try to ease the pain. If I can help some one else then I feel better. Things can be bad, but it can always be worse. I hurt, but they are not forgotten. Always in my heart. One day I too must go that same path. I have three sons left and I pray I won't have to make any more funeral plans for my sons. I still feel the pain, but I feel the same pain twice!