Twice The Pain

Three days before my son's 30th birthday, I received a phone call from my brother. My daughter in law had tried to reach me, but she couldn't. My brother informed me that my son had been killed in his truck on the way to work early one morning. The truck crushed him and they said he probably died instantly. He left behind a wife of three years who was carrying his first child a daughter that he never got the chance to see. My wife had died in this same month 20 years ago. This made it more difficult to deal with, alone. I had to be strong for my other kids. Just two months later my youngest son decided that life was too difficult for him and he committed suicide. Within 60 days I had to deal with the pain of losing two of my sons. You never get over it, you just deal with it. Little things still remind me of them. Sports, movies, music, and video games were the things they both enjoyed. Songs bring back memories and tears to my eyes. I have tried to help some other parents with the loss of their children. When I have been in a position to tell parents they have lost their child I know the pain they feel. When working in an emergency room so many of our young people are gone too soon because of silly things like proving something to a friend; Driving recklessly on a freeway;  playing chicken with a truck; Texting while driving and dying before you can send the text. I don't know how to stop hurting, but I do know how to try to ease the pain. If I can help some one else then I feel better. Things can be bad, but it can always be worse. I hurt, but they are not forgotten. Always in my heart. One day I too must go that same path. I have three sons left and I pray I won't have to make any more funeral plans for my sons. I still feel the pain, but I feel the same pain twice!
DrJayJack DrJayJack
51-55, M
11 Responses May 17, 2011

I'm so sorry x

this is so sad

Reading your story tells me that there is a lot to learn from life and a lot to be thankful about. .thanks for sharing your story

Am sorry for the loss of your sons, it's really strong and kind of you to help others when you're going through so much.

One day that pain will leave. Sorry you had to experience this, rest in peace to your sons

The pain doesn't leave, I just get used to having it. I accept the fact that in this life I will not see them, but I am comforted in the memories I have of watching them grow up and all the times we shared. Memories ease the pain!

It did for my grand father and others....I guess it is different when its your child. Sorry but there is hope

Thank you for helping others...even through you pain.

Stay strong.

I don't know how you get through the day.<br />
You are strong!!!<br />
<br />
Your story will help others. <br />
<br />

Well I smiled and now I cry reading your stories. I'm sorry for the loss of your child.

I am sorry that you gone throw that .<br />
I feel that Jeuse need them to come home.<br />
But still it is hard to see them go .<br />
And I am sorry that you had to go throw that.<br />
I will think about you and pray for you .

I know your pain not from a child stand point but from a care taker of parents and brother and helped with grand parents. I lost 5 in 8 years when i looked and no one was left but me standing with my husband no family that is the most hurt you can ever no. I am sorry for you lose it is a hard proscess and does not get easier. time does seem to put a distance on the pain but to be honest i close my eyse and can smell and feel it like it was yesterday. charish those you have and make the most of it for those little things is what gets you through. May God be with you. <br />