My Little Man

i lost my son Dec of 2010.
He was 14 years old and committed suicide due to a long battle of drug use.
He was my little man and i miss him dearly. He had many dreams but found that life was not worth fighting for and gave up. I begged and pleaded for help and pretty much was left to this battle all alone.
I miss him and there are still days where i feel him with me.
he is missed by his two sisters and his grandmother. we are very small.

this has caused much depression in our family... and has opened our eyes to so much destruction in this world. Mistrust and anger of course to the ones that were not there to help.

he was 14 and you could tell he was begging for help and no one was there to pick up his pieces except for me.

I remember the day the police showed up at my door. I watched them walk up and i knew in the darkest part of my heart what they were coming to tell me. what i had been expecting.... but would never believe. My ( and my family) life will never be the same...

He would be 16.... and i already feel that i have missed out ( as well as my son) with so many milestones that would have been accomplished.

he will always be so dear and close to my heart.
krazyish krazyish
2 Responses Jun 23, 2012

I feel for you... i also had to stay strong for my surviving girls. it was and has been the hardest thing i have ever done...I would like to chat. I have my bad days which are becoming fewer and farther between but still very difficult to watch others enjoy their sons. but us ( as a family) talk of him all the time, and highly also.... <br />
<br />
I would like to talk...<br />
<br />
sometimes i wish that there was more i could do for others... to prevent this from happening to anyone else... I know that i am not alone, but it sure feels like it. <br />
<br />
I did not go through counselling, my oldest daughter refused.. My youngest did go... i think it helped her... <br />
Suicide is so difficult because there are no answers to any questions... and there was nothing left behind... no note.. nothing.<br />
I am grateful that i had the opportunity to chat with him the night before he died, and was able to tell him that i love him, and that i would see him in the morning as we were suppose to talk about detox and rehab.... We were so close in getting him help...<br />
<br />
I really hope that your are doing well. <br />
Hugz all around....

I know how you feel, my son died from an accidental overdose on mar 8 of this year. He battled with addiction for years and I also feared this. he tried going to rehab a few times but it didn't last, he was really trying, he started taking pain killers for withdrawl symtems and pain, his body rejected them and he overdosed as a result, it wasn't intentional, but i feel like he was slowly killing himself. i did everything i could to help him, and worried about him all the time. Addiction is a disease but people who have it think they are bad and can never beat it. thats not true. and other people say, why can't you just quit, they don't know how hard it is. so i know how you feel, this is so life changing and sad, i am going to counselling and taking medication for depression and anxiety, it helps but not really. nothing will ever be the same, i don't know how somedays i will survive this but I have no choice, i have other kids. I read books and talk to people i trust as much as i can. we can't do this alone, we feel lonely enough. send me a message if you wanna talk, it helps both of us. It helps to reach out to others going through this, take care. Hugs