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The Hazards Of Underdressing

If you're in this group, you like to crossdress but you are still at least partway in the closet, keeping your activities secret from the world.  And you probably at least sometimes hide a secret under your socially acceptable male clothes -- panties, stockings, perhaps even a bra or girdle or corset. This is commonly known as underdressing, or "dressing under".  Just how far do you go to test your limits of dressing in public without being noticed?

Have you ever been caught, or had a close call?  Recently I had to clean up a mess from an auto accident (not my own) and the driver's belongings were scattered all over the road; my job was to find and collect all the lost personal belongings.  That got me to thinking about what would happen to me (if I survived the wreck) or my family (whether I did or did not), if I am wearing lingerie under my man-clothes and I am involved in a car wreck.  What if my dresses were in the car with me? (I move frequently due to complications in my housing situation)  The emergency crew would certainly need to remove my outer clothes to get at my injuries and test my vital signs.  I'm sure I wouldn't be the first man they found wearing panties and tights, but it would still be embarrassing: I live in a very small town where news travels fast.

For some reason I get a dangerous thrill pushing the safety of my secret to its limits.  We live in a rural area outside of town with the north side of our house blocked from neighbors' view.  That's where we park our car, and that's where our trash bin is, so when I take out the trash I don't bother hiding my dress or skirt or nightgown.  One day I'm doing to be 20 yards away from the door when someone drives up to visit, and I will have nowhere to hide and no way to get back and change without being seen.

Our mailbox is a few miles away in a large collection of rural boxes stacked together.  Our particular box happens to be on a level that I can reach from the car window without ever getting out, so if I drive there at night when nobody can see me clearly in the car I will go out in my dress to fetch the mail... risking at any moment that a passing truck with bright lights will shine right into the driver's seat and see me in detail.  Or again, I could have an accident even in that short drive, possibly slide off the road when it is icy.  Then I would have no choice but to walk back to our house, with nothing to wear but the dress and slippers I wore in the car.

My activities often take me to the next nearest town 50 miles away down winding mountain roads.  The roads don't get much traffic, so often when I drive by myself I will take along a favorite dress -- a nice warm velvet one in the winter, or a cool sundress in the summer -- and when I am finished with my business in town, I will find a quiet place where I can change out of my pants and shirt and into the dress, and drive home in comfort.  It's only a miracle that so far nobody has seen me changing clothes in the car (I do try to pick secluded, unoccupied streets), and another miracle that I have never been involved in an accident or pulled over by the police while dressed.  My son is joining the police force in a few years.  Perhaps he will be the one to pull me over!  Less to explain, since he knows about my crossdressing.

I always wear brightly colored nylon panties under my pants, except when I know I will be seeing a doctor.  In the winter, I also wear a long-sleeve leotard and tights textured so they look like regular socks if people don't stare too closely at my feet.  But there is that 2-inch gap that someone looking in just the right direction might realize that it's not a man's sock they are seeing but nylon tights.  In the summer when it is warmer, I also might wear a satin camisole or even a women's swimsuit (one-piece maillot) under my t-shirt.  I always try to wear a dark colored shirt, and the shirt and pants are loose enough that I don't *think* there are any visible lines showing.  But a few times many years ago at work I overestimated how opaque my shirt at work was and heard some comments about my leotard underneath, and some of my friends like to hug... something I remember only as their hands go around my shoulders dangerously close to those swimsuit straps or leotard scoop back.  Have they noticed but were too polite to say anything? (unlike the co-workers who snickered behind my back the rest of the time I worked there)

I used to be careless about the laundry, and accidentally left a pair of pantyhose tangled up inside the pants I pulled out of the dryer to wear for work. The pantyhose gradually worked their way down one leg until a foot was sticking out the bottom of my pants cuff, and a co-worker saw it. She is long gone, but her mocking laughter still hurts to remember.  A close friend was also present and he still works with me, but he has never said anything about the incident.

Would like to hear other stories of secret crossdressers who have been caught or almost caught at your secret.
CDralph2010 CDralph2010 46-50, M 5 Responses Jul 18, 2011

Your Response


Interesting post, but after underdressing for forty years (since 1975). You are making way to much of how much other people care. To cut to the chase, I was first underdressing to 9th grade night school in 1975. I was sure that every redneck within a mile would be able to discern that I was wearing silky panties under my jeans that night. Much to my suprise, none did.I soon elevated my underdressing to wearing panties, bra and modest silicon breastfeeding forms (Currently a 38B) KIDS OR WOMENS Nike shoes or occasional ballet flats. These days women's jeans.
I dress this way about 70% of the time. However, I do wear microfiber white or Bagie panties 100% of the time.I am an RN work 3 twelve hour shifts at night. I have been wearing women's athletic (think Nike again) women's socks under scrubs. Occassionally , yes bra and forms.There has been exactly one time that I have gotten an unexpected reaction. That was a Midwestern bookstore. I was wearing white leather Keds and as I walked around a corner I ran into him face to face. He stopped looked down at my shoes and gave me a weird look. That was it. No confrontation, no comments.
I do occasionally get comments from women but those are positive.Few simple rules have greatly minimized problems. First don't be flaming, provocative or confrontational.
Second, if you insist on passing publically, dress appropriately and your age specific. Don,t think running to the store at 6 in the evening is going to go well if you wear 6 inch spiked heels and a leather mini with 42DD forms will go well... it probably won't.

CDRALPH seems to be of the mindset that running to the post box at 3 in the morning is thrilling.. I remember a time when it was.

So what if someone catches a glimpse of you in a dress. Don't wear something to draw too much attention... NO ONE CARES!I

If you wan to try on heels in a shoe store go ahead. I have never had a problem in normal dress (obvious male more if you look closely) no sales person or customer have given any grief at places like lady foot locker, shoe carnival or such.

Never even a problem trying on bras either...No one cares and as you get older, the likely hood someone will recognize you.

The high school bully has moved on.

Watch out however for teenage girls and their wolfpacks. They can be cruel.


Yes, it can happen.. it's a decision you need to make every day if you choose to go out fully dressed. The firefighters, ER nurses, etc are not going to recognize you on the street. The period where your wearing a bra, forms and panties under your normal dress is limited. From ER DISCHARGE to ADMISSIONTHE TIME WILL BE 6 HOURS OR LESS. After all, if you go out dressed, either overtly or secretly, there is a chance you will be seen.

There is a chance someone will reading you. Face that fear before you go out. Let your family and friends know you crossdress.

Back in 1985 when a former girlfriend did all she could to embarressed me. I decided to get pro active and let family and friends know I crossdressed.

Get this NO ONE CARED.


I am sure some coworkers must have noticed my swimsuit straps through shirt back, or tights between trousers and shoes. That is a part of the fun to me. Nobody has ever told me anything, and I dont know if I have been talked about or it has cost me some "points". That is how far I have got at work. When I bike to work, or on my leisure time, I have worn pantyhose (tights) openly, and then the risk is running into somebody you know when you dont expect it. So far, no trouble, although I sometimes get strange looks.

Stop and think about this., your wearing a women's bathing suit under cloths at work? I promise no one generally cares that you are wearing tights instead of socks.

When it is cold, I will wear tights under scrubs, but do so unabashedly. No one care.

I don't understand the practical reason for wearing tights constantly. They are uncomfortable and encoumbering. Panty hose under jeans I understand. That was popular when I started crossdressing in the early 70's.

I've read accounts of crossdressers who wear miniskirts, hose and garters under "normal" clothing. That's an open invitation to get read or busted. It's uncomfortable, stiff and a big tip off. No one generally wears 2 sets of cloths.

Sorry, that just draws attention when you want to blend in.

There! Finally somebody has it right. No one cares if a man wears women's underwear or tights. At that level, it's not cross dressing or a fetish, it's just a guy wearing tights for warmth or support hose for leg issues. Any man can do that, and it has nothing to do with societal approval or acceptance, since it's a non-issue.

I did have a car accident and was wearing panties and my nightgowns were under the seat.
At the hospital I was ******** down to my panties and put on the x-ray table where a very cute girl was taking the x-rays. I was in pain and probably shock, but still had to control myself from getting a hard on. The girl said nothing. I'm sure I'm not the first guy they've seen wearing panties.
Now as far as my nightgowns go. After I got out of the hospital and a friend of mine took me to the junk yard where my car was. I was on crutches and as I was walking up to the car I was shocked to see the door wide open and one of my nightgowns hanging out the door. I quickly stuffed it back under the seat.
What shocked me was, My parents had already been there to look at my car. I don't think they could have missed seeing my nightgowns and not only that but they were gowns I took from my mother. Nothing was ever said.
The sad part was, I couldn't drive and I was never able to retrieve my nightgowns.

That\'s terrible! Especially the part about knowing your family discovered both the secret and the theft. Knowing that they know and will not talk to you about it must make all contact with them awkward :-(

No! The sad part was, I lost my nightgowns. I was just 20 years old at the time and had these crazy ideas that it was very wrong for a man to shop for and buy lingerie. I lost my best friends.
My mother put those gowns in the rag bag many years before that. I do think she put them there for me. I\'m sure she knew I was wearing her nightgowns when I was young. I was caught by her sleeping in her nightgown when I was 11 or 12. It just was embarrassing to have them find out I\'m still wearing them. Feeling awkward went away in a very short period of time. Many people threw the years have caught me wearing lingerie and say nothing. I\'m a transvestite and many people in my life know that. It\'s just not shared or talked about.
I look at it this way. It\'s like having sex. Everybody knows my wife and I have sex, after all we have 3 kids. Do they spend time thinking about it ore visualizing it? No! They know I like to wear lingerie. Do they want to visualize it or think about it? No!
Getting caught is no big deal. It\'s only embarrassing at the time.

Thanks for sharing.

You've never purged you clothing?

The closest I've ever come to purging is to take my lingerie and hide it in a very remote place where it was even hard for me to get to it. Still there incase the urge came back but far enough away if I never got the urge again. Of course the urge came back and I was happy I never threw anything away.

I like that attitude. I\'d never thought that way before. Like you know your parents and grandparents have had sex, but you don\'t think about it.
I suppose cross dressing is still somewhat unusual though. So maybe we might be the cause of gossip.
Anyway, as far as I\'m concerned, gossip is a sure sign that their life is so dull, they have to talk about someone else\'s life! I\'d rather be the cause of gossip than a gossip myself.

Oh I'm sure I've been the center of gossip at one time or another. So what! I have been in conversations where others are the center of gossip and after we get done mocking them for what ever reason it's over and nothing has changed in regards to how we friend them. Friendship is about the things we have in common and we all have things about us that make us very different from anyone else.

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Rebellious aren't we Ralph. Damn them for not letting us wear what we want. We will do what we want and wear what we want...when we want and we will see how long it takes to get caught...if ever. We take clothes off the clothes lines (or at least did) we shop and dare anyone to say anything or we'll rip their head off. We go outside almost daring anyone to discover us and all for what? Because at some level we are screaming out that this is so unfair and we want it out in the open. We are tired of hiding and being ashamed and we want to be caught at least at some level to put this all on the table and be rid of it for once and for all. We are rebels Ralph without a good way to express what we feel to the outside world and I believe we are screaming for some form of understanding in our own ways. No one ever said life would be fair and for us isn't.

Some of my colleagues have found me bare foot. They joke that I'm a hippy and that's why. The reality is that I've just managed to take my stiletos off in time. ;-)