Not Always Though.

Everyone always tells me that I'm always happy and always so positive.... but I feel like I have to be because everyone around me is so depressed all the time. Well, not everyone. But I honestly don't really know that many positive or generally happy people... so I feel good knowing that I can be that person.

When I'm sad, I feel like I have to right to be because everyone else is sad all the time... so it's my turn to be sad, and hopefully those people could feel good knowing they are the happy and positive people for once.

I feel like I'm not always happy at heart though, I feel like I'm mostly happy on the outside and on the inside I just want to tell people that there's something wrong but since I'm so "happy" I haven't found that many people I could comfortabley poor my heart out to.

So I'm forced to be happy at heart. Which I guess is a good thing for now :)

babishka babishka
18-21, F
1 Response May 15, 2007

i went through a horrible period of depression, and still have a hard time occasionally, but even at 16 when it got bad the first time, i felt i had to project that happy image all the time. <br />
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now, despite the odd rough day, i am finally happy the way i always used to pretend.