I Truly Care, I Just Don't Always Show It.

Ok, before I start, this is for everyone on EP, especially my circle.
I'm sure you have noticed from speaking to me that I do not open up immediately, and I won't open up immediately. In my past, I have been let down by people I trusted countless times and now I just can't trust people like I used to. Don't take it personally if I don't give you long heart-filled replies and don't take my actions to seriously either. I am not a very personable type of person. It's not that I don't care, I do care, it just takes me a bit longer to feel close to someone then it would other people.

After my divorce, I shut myself away from the world and didn't let anyone in. Sometimes I still feel that way. Just these past couple years I am beginning to open up again and tell people my life story but I still don't trust people that easy.
I'm also bipolar, as I keep saying over and over and I tend to get into pointless arguments for no reason, usually because I'm stubborn. Don't take those pointless arguments personally either, like I said, I am stubborn and will do what I want. Usually it's nothing you did to cause me to argue, sometimes I will feel angry for no reason and I am sorry if I have ever upset you.
Being the bipolar I am, I have a hard time being forgiving because once you have lost my trust it is very hard to get it back. Don't worry though, I have bad memory and sometimes a seizure can make me forget why I was mad at you, so it's hard to loose my trust. I also overreact to things that don't even matter. So yeah, that's how I am. I'm hard to get close to, not purposely. I may come across as passive but I do truly care though, if you really do want to be my friend then I will not shut you away from me. I promise.
This is more venting then a story from my life, sometimes I need stories like this every now and then.

Feel free to add me, but don't expect me to add you back.
deleted deleted
6 Responses Jan 19, 2013

well everything happens and if our marriages is not what we see from other people means we are not a good person it has different story thats why it happen and i doesnt make us ugly or horrible person it happens because it was not meant to be and life doesnt end because it ends in divorce or separate lives still we have something to look for and move on and thats how it would be to live and to be strong for us to move on...

the strange thing is i talk more on here than i do in my life i feel more safe as no one knows me so i can open up and talk openly about my problems

Comes from the heart and you show me that you are a very passionate person

Heartfelt honesty. I like it.

Your stubborn? I would never have guess it :). great story Michelle. You have been through and overcome a lot. Don't give up the battle as there is more to do. I work on myself every single day of my life....Thanks for being my friend :)

Thank you for sharing, I know this probably was tough for you to write as well.