Heroin Is Taking My Life Away Again

I finally finished uni, got a brilliant job, but heroin has creeped back into my life. I'm in debt upto my eyeballs, can't save anything to go to rehab. I'm just giving up. I can't see any point in carrying on because i have accepted i will never beat this demon for good. I've let everyone down, destroyed all i have rebuilt, and the strain of hiding it all from my family again is killing me. The lies just can't continue. I see no way out. I'm close to losing my job. I just don't see the point of anything anymore, i just can't be happy with anything i build for any length of time.
I give up, i simply have nothing left to give.
Sorry.
mgturbo1 mgturbo1
26-30, M
5 Responses May 5, 2012

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I don't know if you'll ever read this message,i don't know if you will care but i just have nothing to loose by telling you that you can decide from today to change things for yourself.I'm glad that I have never done such type of drugs and have only stick to marijuana but anyways that is not the point.I have been depressed half my life and thanks to some realisations a few months back i have rebounced and now am ready to do some real good for myself.You said that you were close loosing your job that means you had a job and were qualified to do it.This is such a huge accomplishment.Imagine that in my country (greece) 35% of the people are don't have a job and you would be really respected for that.I really wish you can realise you are worth so much even if i don't know you at all.I really wish you can find this huge strengh of getting better and clean.I hope i'll have a chance to see a message from you soon .

Just read your stories. You sound like such an intelligent person. I hope you can find the strengh inside to believe in yourself, that you are a good person and that you do deserve to be free of Heroin. Life can be very happy and rewarding, without heroin. You have experienced it. Please don't give up. You can do it!!!! Robin

I feel "almost" the same way you do....I quit, got a great job, then it crept back into my life too....I am about 3,000 in debt too but from experience, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT!!! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP, I have only been clean for days but I have had some time...You can get it all back and faster than you think. Trust me I have done it SEVERAL TIMES!!<br />
If you ever need someone who's where you are, and been there done that to talk to, don't hesitate to contact me...I will help anyway I can!<br />
Just try to take it day by day, hour by hour if you have to, it works for me!<br />
<br />
God bless us all!<br />
Mark~

Never been narco addicted but there are numerous stories of success out there with long-term Heroin addicts. They went through a lot but finally have got their lives back. Some were older, some were young. They really are no different than you, you are no more addicted probably than they were. And it must be hellish cycling up and down on a Heroin, and kicking just a few hours after using. You aren't going to feel good about life if you are in a state of craving every few hours. Read the stories of people who did finally put Heroin behind them. If you can't afford rehab, what about Suboxone (if your country has it), or Methadone?