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Clean

okay. people,, today is gonna be my first day without heroin for a long time. wanted to let you all know. . wish me luck. :)

i can do this ****!
pinky promise<3


25-11-2012 ~
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well day one is over, i did it! one day without junk :D  
day 2 just got started. I'm stressed as hell, but i'm gonna do this ! i can do it.. i have to! 

26-11-2012~
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I haven't had anything for three days now. This withdrawal is killing me. But I'm going on. If i use now it means that those 2 days of hell have been for nothing. I'm not gonna let that happen!

27-11-2012~
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Day 4.. Fragile doesn't even come close to describing how i feel...



so.. wel that didnt went as expected.. i failed. day 4 and i failed. did heroin again today. docter noticed me using. caught me with the needle still inside my arm.. so yea im ******. ima failure.. i cant even get myself off these ******* drugs.

28-11-2012~
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well time to start again with day 1... atleast i have no withdrawal feelings yet.. feels good not to have them..

29-11-2012 ~ 
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So day 2.. im still clean. im feeling happy, positive.. im gonna do this ! 

30-11-2012 ~
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day 3. they gave me subutex, to get rid of the withdrawal a bit.. i have to vomit all the time, feel sick. but at least its better than without the meds.

01-12-2012~
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day four. okay last time i failed on day four.. so i have to go on right now. im feeling really weak. i wanna burst out in tears all the time. but theres nobody i can cry with.. i feel lonely, maybe even a bit depressed. but i have to go on. for the better!

02-12-2012~
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day 5. im feeling so sick as a dog.. need to vomit all the time but this handfull of painkillers gonna have to get me through! 
Woesh Woesh 18-21, F 21 Responses Nov 24, 2012

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Oh Woesh, I admire you trying to come off heroin alone!! That is such a hard task!! I like your daily posts,of how you were feeling!!I went to a Rehab before Xmas, I thought I could come down ,get clean!! I tried, but I was so ill, and the few tablets you got didn't help none!! So after 11 days , I came home!! I just couldn't do it anymore!! But also I was due to go onto a Rehabfor 9 months!! And at first I thought I could do it!!! But then I found out I couldn't write/ring anyone who drank or drugged?? Well that meant no contact with my hubby, as he is an addict too!!Well that was it?? I left.And I didn't regret it, I decided I wanted to detox at home, and thats what I'm doing now!!Just got to get down 10 mil of methadone ,then onto Subutex!! And yeah they gave me Subutex at Detox and it didn't do nothing?? But I'm hoping it will work now!! I look at my hubby and he is on Subs and hes miles better!! Hes never ill, he feels great!! At first I found it hard to deal with as I still felt like ****!! But hes calmed down!! Well however you are now, I want to know!! We can help ourselves,yeah?? Love ya girl Cath

check out my fb page, it's new, but I use to be an addict but have 9 years clean and I want to help addicts, recovering addicts, and family and friends of addicts. I am trying to pass word around about my facebook page so I can begin helping people. Please check it out, if you need someone to talk to please go my page and I'll be happy help and give u stopped. U can read my story and my purpose of my page if u click under community on my page.

www.facebook.com/heroinaddictionhelp

I help with all types of addiction I been through them all!! Please know my page is new and doesn't have many likes yet but hoping that changes soon as page gets spread around!! I am always available to help!!!!

Please continue! Can I help you somehow?

I'm trying to get clean starting tomorrow hun! Wish me luck and I'll let you know how I do. Also I lost my computer so staying in touch is harder. I'll get those tattoo pics soon, also my fiancé loved that drawing just as much as I did. Message me! Be Safe.

check out my fb page, it's new, but I use to be an addict but have 9 years clean and I want to help addicts, recovering addicts, and family and friends of addicts. I am trying to pass word around about my facebook page so I can begin helping people. Please check it out, if you need someone to talk to please go my page and I'll be happy help and give u stopped. U can read my story and my purpose of my page if u click under community on my page.

www.facebook.com/heroinaddictionhelp

I help with all types of addiction I been through them all!! Please know my page is new and doesn't have many likes yet but hoping that changes soon as page gets spread around!! I am always available to help!!!!

Keep it up, girl....we're all rooting for you! :-) Martika xx

Don't let people convince you that if you have been clean for a while and then use again; your clean time meant nothing. That is false. If you are a heroin addict who uses daily and then you don;t use for days at a time and then use again. That is PROGRESS. It is unrealistic for you or other people, including doctors, to think you can just quit. Remember only set realistic goals. Eventually you won;t need it at all.

but i just wanna quit. i dont wanna use for days at a time.. i never ever wanna use again. i think that i give mysel another needle i wont resist the next one and the next one etc...

keep going this way , only you can change your life :)

Being sick is really rough, I feel your pain :/ Have you thought about getting a couple subs to help?

I am so inspired by you! Keep it up!

Keep it up babygirl!
You can do this <3

The only one who can do it is you!!! Admire you with all my heart. This is the greatest award you can give yourself. Keep going xxx chantellette

Fragile is ok.....that's you feeling again! You're doing so ******' great.... I am so very proud of you!!!

Martika xx

Keep on going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there, don't give up!

Yay!!! Keep it up baby! I'm rootin' for you! :)

3 days? Awesome! As my mum always says "The ONLY place that 'SUCCESS' comes before 'SWEAT' is in the dictionary..."

Just remember that....and remember you are 3 days NEARER to the new....healthier....YOU!!!

:-)

Martika xx

Your awesome! Stay strong! You can do it! Woot Woot.

You can do it, you should do it, you will do it... I wish you all the luck.

Awesome! Proud of ya, babe!

:-)

Martika xx

it is not easy but trying is what it is all about and though we may stumble and fall we are still moving forward and it is ok to ask for help if you need it

thx&lt;3