I Miss It

I miss heroin. I miss the taste, the numb feeling, the hustle, the way it got me through the day. Here I am pregnant, clean for two months (I got clean 2 weeks into pregnancy when I found out) and still thinking of it every 5 minutes. I started get high on a daily basis last year and before that it was quite often and with other various opiates. I think being pregnant was a sign to get clean because I couldn't ever dream of hurting my innocent baby. With that said, it's a struggle. My mental health issues are getting the best of me and my job is so depressing when I'm not high. I was a functioning addict. I finished graduate school, landed my depressing but well paying job, bought a car, etc. I did this on a 10 bag a day habit. Which is a good amount but not nearly as bad as
Some of my friends. I'm just so edgy and pissed off all day. I worry about what will happen after the baby is born. All of my connects and friends still try contacting me and I know that will be in full swing after the baby. I guess I'm just nervous and I'm not one for n.a. meetings or that one day at a time crap.
I feel like I'm just rambling. I wish I was high damnit.

Disregard any typos. My phone is possessed
ifunctionwell86 ifunctionwell86
26-30
5 Responses Dec 5, 2012

check out my fb page, it's new, but I use to be an addict but have 9 years clean and I want to help addicts, recovering addicts, and family and friends of addicts. I am trying to pass word around about my facebook page so I can begin helping people. Please check it out, if you need someone to talk to please go my page and I'll be happy help and give u support and listen!!! U can read my story and my purpose of my page if u click under community on my page.

www.facebook.com/heroinaddictionhelp

I help with all types of addiction I been through them all!! Please know my page is new and doesn't have many likes yet but hoping that changes soon as page gets spread around!! I am always available to help!!!!


Ps. I am also pregnant 14 weeks!!

Well, my baby is almost 2 yrs old, and I had him when I was 27. However, from the ages to 16 to 26ish I was using Heroin on a daily basis. I loved it. and now that I have the baby, the urge has NOT gone away, if anything, its gotten stronger. I had him, fell in love with him and didnt think Id ever use again. but I DID. Im trying to stop now, but its so hard I love my son but this **** has got my mind. Stay clean as long as u can. I wish I had nvr relapsed. I can lose my son. I cant have that. Id rather lose the dope.

check out my fb page, it's new, but I use to be an addict but have 9 years clean and I want to help addicts, recovering addicts, and family and friends of addicts. I am trying to pass word around about my facebook page so I can begin helping people. Please check it out, if you need someone to talk to please go my page and I'll be happy help and give u support and listen!!! U can read my story and my purpose of my page if u click under community on my page.

www.facebook.com/heroinaddictionhelp

I help with all types of addiction I been through them all!! Please know my page is new and doesn't have many likes yet but hoping that changes soon as page gets spread around!! I am always available to help!!!!

hello, i come to you with the experience of being a child of an addict, a mother, and a nurse who works in fostercare full of children whos parents where too high to care for them or treat them correctly, similar to my own past. I understand that my father would have loved to have taken care of me but he was under an awful spell. I hope you can see how great of a mom you are for taking a stand everyday that you are sober. You are already doing your child good, i know how your want for the drug is an everyday battle, but know truley belive, that you child is a blessing. There is always regret in relapsing but you will never regret staying sober, ever.

I think the meetings I went to just didn't do me any good. Maybe someplace where I don't know everyone?

I understand what you mean about meetings the first one i ever went to i hid behind the building but i needed them and they needed me. Just a suggestion. You can also go online they have meetings and some cool non judgemental people are there to help www.na-recovery.org.

NA is a wonderful places filled with lots of good people. I was a herion addict for years and although you may think you had it all together buy buying stuff you were using herion so how is that together? Your baby will need a mother for the rest of his/her life they didnt ask to be here and deserve the best from you. When your high you cant take care of a baby belive me i know. I am a mom but today i am a good mom. I wish you well and commend you for stopping for your child but you need help and NA is free what do you have to lose really?